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Home » Culture and Criticism

Cinemarch Madness: Watson Division Semifinal

Submitted by on March 26, 2013 – 1:31 PM5 Comments

grunge film background

Oh, dear God. What can I even eliminate here? Well, Seven (still think of it as an action movie, head-in-box be damned) and Eternal Sunshine (fundamentally sweet, hopeful about love). I'll also chuck out Breaking the Waves, because I admired it but wasn't gutted. House of Sand and Fog I only watched because Ron Eldard was in it it's really wrong I know don't email me. Blue Valentine had a few too many on-the-nose moments happening.

Deliverance has to go too, I guess. It's just a liiiiiittle more creepy than it is depressing, and while Laramie made me very very angry, it wasn't quite as profoundly dire as The Cove (dolphins screaming, I can't even) and Deer Hunter (Walken mostly not screaming, I can't even).

But I think this is Breaking the Waves's to lose, with Deer Hunter coming in next.

Tomorrow: More tears, plus special guest ferretrick assumes the write-up helm.

Watson Division: Vote for the TWO (2) harshest films.

  • The Cove (22%, 115 Votes)
  • The Deer Hunter (18%, 93 Votes)
  • Breaking the Waves (12%, 64 Votes)
  • Blue Valentine (11%, 59 Votes)
  • House of Sand and Fog (10%, 50 Votes)
  • The Laramie Project (10%, 50 Votes)
  • Seven (9%, 47 Votes)
  • Deliverance (5%, 24 Votes)
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (4%, 20 Votes)

Total Voters: 279

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(Confused? Aren't we all. Heh. But the Cinemarch MadnessĀ FAQ is here, and you can find the completeĀ semifinal-polls list over here.)


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  • RC says:

    Crap! I just accidentally voted for Eternal Sunshine instead of The Cove! How did that happen?? Eternal Sunshine is so hopeful!

  • ferretrick says:

    My money's on screaming dolphins to take it all.

  • Sarahnova says:

    See, I actually don't think Eternal Sunshine is that hopeful. It looks like it is, right up to the last minute, except for the way the shots of them running on the snowy beach are looped, and re-looped, and re-looped.

  • Kristin says:

    I didn't see Seven until after my Paltrow-dislike had fully flowered, so I see that as a happy ending…

    Surprised that Deliverance isn't showing stronger here; that shit's scary and depressing.

  • […] year, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind made it into the semifinals of Tomato Nation's Cinemarch Madness bracket, in which voters pick the bleakest films of all time. It didn't win, THANK GOD, but […]

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