Eastern Promises
I didn’t really want to see Eastern Promises. I didn’t absolutely not want to see it, but seriously, I have such Little Viggo fatigue right now — every single article and review about the movie I’d read focused on the big fight scene where Viggo’s totally nude and how the whole film builds to that moment and blah blee blah, like, yeah, now it does! Because the motion-picture press is all “RUSSIANS AND PENIS, CALLOO CALLAY!”, like, it’s…a penis.
I like penises fine (as you may have read in the men’s room) (rimshot!), but come on. It’s not the first time we’ve seen one. It’s not even the first time we’ve seen that one; I’m pretty sure L.V. made his swingin’ debut in A Walk On The Moon.
And on top of that, I disliked A History Of Violence and was kind of getting the sense that this one would be similarly overrated and annoying. But Skyrockets wore me down, and I’m glad he did, because the movie is really really good. I wish it were a TV show so I could watch more of these people; it’s that kind of movie — good pacing, not too long, interesting people that talk like real people, doesn’t give too much away, some surprises, satisfying denouement. And Viggo is fantastic in it. I have occasionally felt that he’s given too much credit for that patented underplaying thing he does, but here, it’s perfectly suited to the material.
And Vincent Cassel is my new movie boyfriend, which, given the character he’s playing here, is a testament not only to the man’s acting but to his ability to wear a turtleneck. Credit also to the writing, which brings a Fredo-esque character into three dimensions. Still: Cassel. Love that guy. And I’d forgotten until I looked it up just now that he played the lead in La Haine, which I really liked. I hope he gets really famous here.
Maybe it’s because I expected so little, but I was very impressed with this movie. And as for the infamous full-frontal: it’s a good scene. It fits with the plot, it’s in character for Viggo, and it’s not all baroquely in love with its own audacity like I’d expected it to be based on some of the reviews. It’s not unobtrusive, but it’s not like Cronenberg shot it in Dick-o-Vision, either. It’s just part of the movie.
Tags: movies
Hee. “Dick-O-Vision”. “COMIN’ AT YA! SUNDAYSUNDAYSUNDAY!”
La Haine! That was fantastic. [opens tab to Netflix immediately]
Hahahah. “Dick-O-Vision”. Thanks for making me almost snarf coffee on a Monday morning.
(No seriously, thanks. I am so grumpy in the morning, making me laugh makes you awesome.)
@Jaybird: “TEN THOUSAND POUNDS OF DICK DICK DIIIIIICK!!!”
…Man, this is going to get some interesting hits on Google.
I saw it this weekend as well (at the urging of my friends) and thought it was terrific. Unfortunately, I thought I had read there was a scorching hot sex scene with him and Naomi Watts (even though I thought Naomi was carrying around the beginnings of lil’ Watts-Schreiber, so I wasn’t sure how they were going to film that…amazing the thoughts that can squeeze into your head as a movie plays), but unfortunately that didn’t happen. *sigh* Despite that, it was pretty awesome. Viggo really deserves all the kudos he is getting for the role. And I enjoyed a History of Violence, and think Cronenberg’s got some really interesting ideas going on in his movies.
And yes–Cassel was tasty. I need to see more of him!
Actually, LV made his debut in The Indian Runner, which was Sean Penn’s directorial debut as well. So there were many many dicks on that set…
Bwah. “Dick-O-Vision” was good all by itself, but TN’s never been so well served by the new comments capability. Nicely done, Sars and Jaybird.
Am I pervy, or like eleven years old, for wanting to add “so to speak” after “expected so little?” Maybe it wouldn’t have occurred to me if I’d seen A Walk On The Moon.
Tangent: What’s with all the gangster movies lately? Have they always been so common and I just never noticed? It seems like gangster movies are this year’s Natural Disaster movie, just like Natural Disasters were the previous year’s Asteroid Impact, which were the previous year’s WWII Drama, which were the previous year’s Alien Invasion…
Hee – with Dick-O-Vision, do you get two speakers suspended below the camera?
I still have to scrub all memories of the movie “Irreversible” from my brain before I can watch Vincent Cassell in anything again. Because, whoa. I was, like, catatonic for a couple of days after sitting through that.
Dick-O-Vision, HA! I’m totally stealing that if I’m ever in an appropriate situation for its use.
Never saw “Irreversible”, although I know a bit–and only a bit–about the subject matter from IMDb. What was so ‘orrible?
I only remember Cassel as the cross-dresser from “Elizabeth”. He was FANTASTIC in that, but so was everyone. Shoot, my dead grandmother was great in that.
other things I ponder about dick-o-vision…. is it available in surround sound? digitally enhanced for her pleasure? are there lots of extreme closeups and unnecessary zooms (a la Wayne’s World)? And what about a sneak peek of what’s to come…. sorry, I have had way way way too much sugar today….
Is anyone else picturing that ad for …(memorex? sony? dolby?) with the guy in the chair blown away (hee) by his tv and or music?
“…Man, this is going to get some interesting hits on Google.”
I want a detailed list. That would be awesome.
“RUSSIANS AND PENIS, CALLOO CALLAY!”
had me doing a mad scientist cackle. Awesome.
I love love love Vincent Cassel, but in all his American movies he plays the same sort of character, or rather, the same two – some sort of twisted scary pervert man, or else the effeminate European/Frenchman. Drives me crazy. I love him in French (Read My Lips is a good one to Netflix. Brotherhood of the Wolf is not.)
what do you mean “the characters talk like real people”? do you mean the part where naomi watts is yelling at the drunken son of the russian mob boss the most idiotic things that will get her killed, for the sole reason that she lost a baby a while ago?
the exposition was clumsy and the resolution of whether or not we should like viggo mortensen was terrifically cliche. oh well. it’s directed well, and the tension is also great. but the movie is clunky, to me.
http://www.google.com/search?q=dick-o-vision
Oh, Vincent Cassel has been my movie boyfriend for years… since Brotherhood of the Wolf, in fact, which is TOTALLY worth a Netflix, don’t let anyone tell you different. Unless you have a problem with French period-werewolf-Vatican-conspiracy movies which inexplicably feature Native American kung-fu. And if you do, I don’t think we can be friends.
Read My Lips is awesome. Cassel has a mustache in that, for heaven’s sake, yet his sexiness overcomes it.