Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Home » Culture and Criticism

N Candy AA: Round of 32, Flight 2

Submitted by on April 7, 2010 – 7:30 PM38 Comments

Today’s write-ups by Sarah D. Bunting. Updated bracket is here. Confused? Click here.

1 Skor vs. 8 Caramello/Caramilk. Skor is a great candy bar, one I used to hoard my allowance to buy, but some folks like a mushy center, versus a hard one. (Hew.) Skor wins, but the Carae make it close.

5 M&Ms vs. 4 Mars Bar. I remember the fights over Special Dark as a kid — physical scraps, at times — and while I was a Mr. Goodbar girl, I’m still surprised Mars Bar beat SD to get here. I don’t think it’s getting any further, either. Yes, the plain M&M is, you know, plain, but commenters made a good point during the last round about the way M&Ms let you customize the size of each bite. And if you let the green one melt in your mouth: good luck! Ms for the W.

6 Kit Kat vs. 3 Mounds/Bounty. I love Mounds. I love the texture, I love the contrast with the dark chocolate (one of the few times I prefer it to milk chocolate), I love that it isn’t a boring Kit Kat. But can it fight off the coconut-haters and -allergic, and the mint and mini Kit Kat fans? Probably not.

10 Dove vs. 2 100 Grand. Dove is perfectly fine chocolate, but I for one prefer a liiiiittle more textural interest in a candy bar. Keckler is the crisped-rice fan of the two of us; ordinarily, I find it tasteless, but it’s just right in the 100 Grand. I think the Hundo takes it, but another upset by Dove wouldn’t shock me.

1 Milky Way vs. 8 Hershey Kiss. Two heavy hitters here — and if you include all the Kiss varieties, that might give the Hershey entry the edge. But if I could only eat one for the rest of my life, even with all the kinds of Kiss, I’d go Milky Way. Hard to say what happens; I predict an upset.

5 Twix vs. 4 Nestle Crunch. Does anyone else remember when they introduced Twix here in the States? I was six, and for a six-year-old, it was like the Beatles were coming. Then: letdown. Well, “letdown” isn’t the right word; I’ve already mentioned that I’ve never gotten Twix, but in fact, it’s that it’s so close to the ideal candy bar, and by just missing the mark, it ends up missing it big-time. Just a few tweaks, and it’s awesome: fresher biscuit, firmer chocolate, something. As it is, meh — but not as meh as Nestle Crunch, which won’t even cut it for me as workday grazing chocolate. Twix by a nose.

11 Whoppers/Maltesers vs. 3 Three Musketeers. I am amazed that malt balls survived the Round of 64, but I wouldn’t call 53% of the vote a mandate. The Musketeers, meanwhile, whipped a bar that I suspect most people haven’t tried, which isn’t a firm directive either. Against a bar that’s more popular than the Krackel, the balls (hew) stumble and fall; Manny, Moe, and Jack for the win.

7 Rolo vs. 15 Lindt/Lindor. Lindt beating Heath is a huge, huge upset — not in terms of the margin (it squeaked past with 51%), but I considered Heath a titan in this bracket whose defenses no truffle could breach. And Lindt looks likely to win again, because Rolo didn’t exactly trounce Toblerone in the last round, and people seem quite protective of the Lins. On the other hand, those Rolo treats y’all kept recommending in the comments could give it a boost. I plan to buy a roll and a bag of pretzel rods and work some magic with the microwave pronto. But I don’t think it’s enough. Lindt/Windor.

Share!
Pin Share


Tags:    

38 Comments »

  • Lisa says:

    Not a huge fan of actual Three Musketeers, but those mini ice cream bars are AMAZING.

  • Lori says:

    Aw, Sars, what’s with the Kit Kat hate? They’re so light and delicious. Not to mention made for OCDers like me. You snap off a piece, nibble off all the chocolate around the edges, then ca-a-arefully remove and enjoy the top and bottom choc layers, then you have a lovely piece of sweet crispy goodness to pop into your mouth and crunch. Man, I can make a Kit Kat bar last longer than the Clinton Administration.

  • sam says:

    How can you bracket Maltesers together with Whoppers? It is sacrilege. Maltesers are delectabubble and Whoppers make we want to vomit. I can’t stop eating Maltesers. I can’t even eat one Whopper. They are gross. These are two entirely different beasts. I had to vote 3 Musketeers because I can’t allow Whoppers to win even though Maltesers are the best.

  • Mike says:

    I like Dove, but I had to vote for the 100 Grand. Or as it was called when I was a kid, the 100,000,000 bar. You certainly can’t eat it fast though, way too chewy.

    I was a huge Mars Bar fan as a kid, but they were hard to find.

    Why are Whoppers still here? Those are not candy.

  • Catherine says:

    NOoo! Skor is losing! I can’t stand it! Boy, do I love Skor. I thought for sure it had what it took to take it to the finish.

  • Lindt over Rolo?

    The world is a cruel, misguided place.

  • Emma says:

    @Lori – Is it possible you are actually me? I’ve never met anyone else who eats KitKats this way.

    (I have to admit, it’s also the way I eat Three Musketeers, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and Milky Way, but they don’t have the same satisfying crunch.)

  • Susan says:

    I had to vote again the 100, as it seems every single one I’ve ever had has been stale. It’s like they’re MADE stale.

  • La BellaDonna says:

    @Lori: Heh. Good comparison with all the melt-in-your-mouth action and the Clinton Administration!

    (Also? HEWWWWW!!!)

  • robin says:

    I had to vote for Rolo over Lindt/Lindor. Although they are delicious, something about the Lins always gives me the trots.

  • Hellcat13 says:

    @Emma and @Lori – Apparently there is an underground Kit-Kat deconstruction eating club that we didn’t know about. Add me to your list!

    I accidentally threw a vote to Milky Way because I can’t read, so I am glad that it is winning decisively. (Because I am too lazy to clear my cache and set things to right).

  • Deirdre says:

    I’m taking Keckler’s advice to heart and so when I vote Lindt, I’m not thinking about the little truffle balls we all know. I’m thinking the Orange Intense, I’m thinking the 70% cocoa bar, I’m thinking the little Easter carrots, I’m thinking the chocolate covered almonds which cost their weight in gold but are so, sooo good.

    I must admit I’m also voting against a few things this round: coconut, malt balls and Mars bars are all vile, so their competition wins by default with me.

  • Tracey says:

    I wasn’t a huge 3 Musketeers fan in the past – it was ok, but not something I’d reach for in preference to other bars – but then they came out with the dark-chocolate-mint version, and it’s been my go-to ever since. Whoppers have their place, but they stand no chance against Manny, Moe, and Jack (HEEEEEEEEEE!).

  • Tisha_ says:

    For some reason, I have a roll of Rolos in my purse. Now I’ll have to eat them!

  • Kristina says:

    Ugh. Looks like I’m the only one who feels like a nut.

  • Angela says:

    Kit-Kat’s chocolate is pretty blah, but the texture/structure of the bar makes it fun to eat. (Plus all the other flavors if you visit a Japanese market–OMG, sakura-flavored Kit-Kats are divine.)

    I don’t understand the love for 3 Musketeers at all. I WANT to love it, but the nougat is just terrible. As for the rest of the matchups…um, can I have samples, so I can vote while being fully-informed? Yum.

  • Beadgirl says:

    Skor, Mounds, Rolo are all losing . . . what is wrong with the world? At least malt balls seem to be going down in flames.

    But please, apparently I missed the rolo/pretzel instructions. Could someone tell me what I am supposed to do with them? I must try it.

  • TashiAnn says:

    @ Lori and Emma – I do the same thing with Kit Kats and Reeses, which may be why I don’t like the miniature reeses as much because you can’t do that.

    I agree with Sars about the twix though. Just this side of okay and not as satisfying to eat in stages like the Kit Kat. I can’t believe how great the margin is that twix is crushing the whoopers.

  • Tisha_ says:

    @ Beadgirl: I don’t know what the original instruction were, that were posted here… but here’s how I’ve made them:

    Take a regular pretzel (the twisted kind or the square kind) and put a rolo on top, then heat then in the oven (for a few minutes ) or microwave (for just a few seconds). After the rolo is kind of soft, shove a pecan or a single M&M into it.

    They’re addictive.

  • Hannah says:

    Word on dissecting candies. I used to do that shit with M&Ms (crack it ever-so-carefully between your molars to start removing the candy outside, then voila: soft-n-tasty chocolate nub). Never thought I was OCD, but…apparently there’s evidence to support that….

  • tulip says:

    @sam!! YES. Malteasers are the BEST and Whoppers should be no where NEAR them in this matchup. My husband actually offered me some weird off brand dollar store malt balls yesterday and did NOT understand when I was all DISGUSTING!! He was like “it’s a malt ball, they’re all the same”. Then I had to think long and hard (hee) about divorce and decide that I should just never talk to him about malt balls ever again. :)

  • Andrea says:

    I feel so vindicated by the Kit Kat deconstructionists — my husband always mocks me that I’m the only person he knows who can take 5 minutes to eat just one stick of Kit Kat. I do the same thing to a Milky Way — eat the chocolate off the sides, then eat the nougat bottom, leaving the chocolate and caramel top. Ok, even I’ll admit that’s sort of gross and messy. But sooo tasty.

  • cayenne says:

    All of my picks are going down. The world is a sad, dark place today (though that might be because of Toronto Monsoon, Day 3). I still have some hope that my fellow Skor fans will rally & bring victory, though.

    @Lori, I used to eat them that way, too – they were too bland for my taste, but at least I could get some amusement out of them. My grandparents used to give me one each Sunday, so I was obliged to eat it. Kit Kats are grandparent chocolate bars.

  • Keckler says:

    @Deirdre Atta girl!

    As much as I like to believe I have a sensitive palate, I’ve never been able to detect a difference between Malteasers and Whoppers. They’re both equally unwelcome in my mouth. (Hew.)

    I’m perversely happy to see 100 Grand beating Dove at this point, and now I have that old commercial jingle in my head. “…What a crunchy-chewy bar you are!” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQyesRPy_ko)

  • Grainger says:

    I love how the Wikipedia page for “Twix” has multiple photographs of the candy.

    Also: Didn’t the original Peanut Butter Twix have butter cookies instead of chocolate cookies? I don’t remember it being chocolate way back when.

  • Audrey says:

    @Lori, Emma, and TashiAnn – Really? That’s unusual? When I was a kid, practically everyone I knew ate Kit Kat like that. I was the weirdo because I didn’t (and also because I never really cared about Kit Kat either way).

  • Kathryn says:

    Believe it or not, this discussion inspired me to make a run to the vending machine…for Twix! I personally find them the perfect candy bar, although I couldn’t tell you why. I remember staying in the dorm over Fall Break during my freshman year in college. There was next to no one else around, those few of us left had the TV in the lobby all to ourselves, and God only knows why but I remember I LIVED off of Twix from the vending machine. Mmmm, memories.

  • Anlyn says:

    Man, Kit Kat vs Mounds is tough. I like both equally.

    I’m now craving a bag of Hershey’s kisses. One Kiss is enough for a small burst of chocolate, without gaining too many pounds. Unless one eats the whole bag, of course. Which I haven’t done. Ever.

  • Jeanne says:

    I love Twix mainly as a nostalgia thing, in elementary school my mom would put a little Twix bar in my lunch every day. That and Krackel is far superior to Nestle Crunch so Nestle Crunch Must. Go. Down.

  • DT says:

    I never liked Twix as a kid, but somehow have grown to love them. My son now knows to hide the minis in his Halloween stash from me. I won’t eat a full-sized Twix, but the minis are perfect.

    Never got into Nestle Crunch – too plain for me in spite of the inclusion of rice krispies (or whatever they put in there).

  • Soylent Green says:

    Ooh, I am so in the KKD club as well. That satisfaction in pulling those bad boys apart can even overcome my disdain for Nestle chocolate. (I also used to eat all the chocolate off a Milky Way and roll the filling into a ball as kid, but that’s kind of gross.)

    Perhaps one day I’ll find some of you are all in the Risotto Smoothers club too _ I have an OCD habit of taking a forkful of risotto, eating it, and then smoothing the remaining risotto flat with the fork before taking the next forkful. I wasn’t even aware I did it until I looked up and saw the rest of the table in a restaurant staring open mouthed at me.

    I’ve also been getting into the Japanese Kit Kats this week. I have the Ginger Ale one on my desk right now. I’m hoping it’s less of a disappointment then the Red Bean one, which was delicious, but tasted nothing like red bean and that’s an obsession of mine that you don’t trifle with lightly.

  • Sandman says:

    I find the Lindor “truffle” (yeah, right) balls unappealingly oily. I love Lindt bars, though, especially the Lindt Excellence dark chocolate – not so high in cacao concentration that it gets chalky. Smooth and dark and oh so good.

    This bracket has been the most frustrating for me; I never realized before now what a divide there is between the US and Canada in the way of cross-border candy selection. I’ve never had a lot of the candy that’s under discussion. But uou guys don’t even KNOW about Neilson/Cadbury goodies! I weep for you. Tears made entirely of high-fructose corn syrup and modified milk ingredients, sure, but tears nonetheless.

  • Banana says:

    Milky Way trumps Hershey’s Kiss because of the utter deliciousness of the Milky Way Midnight, f/k/a Milky Way Dark. Everything about it pleases me: taste, texture, light/dark contrast. Regular Milky Way is acceptable, but meh.

  • emmarmot says:

    To add to the deconstruction of candy thread, I always eat the caramel off of the Twix bar first, and then the cookie goodness. I also used to deconstruct Snickers – eat the chocolate around the sides, then the peanut and caramel part, then the nougat last. I love nougat.

  • Jen says:

    Robin: I thought my mom was the only one who said “trots”. Thank you for making me laugh so loud I scared my dog.

    Twix is hands down my favorite candy bar, and even better for dissection than a Kit Kat.

    And I don’t understand you guys with the ‘the chocolate is gross’. But of course it is! If I wanted something you, know, made with quality or something, I’d get one of those organic boring dissertation broccolli chocolate bars with the percentages and nips and cacao-ca-crap. But that’s no freaking fun.

  • Jeni says:

    Add me to the list that deconstructs every candy bar she consumes. Nibble all the chocolate off and then eat the insides. Same with ice cream bars and ice cream sandwiches. They’re all so much better eaten in layers.

  • Christi says:

    This was the hardest bracket yet. I eeny-meeny-miny-moe’d a couple of them and still felt like I was betraying a friend. Yes, chocolate is my friend.

  • jill (tx) says:

    @Grainger — you’re right, PB Twix didn’t always have chocolate cookies. That used to be my favorite candy bar, but the extra chocolate is overkill.

Leave a comment!

Please familiarize yourself with the Tomato Nation commenting policy before posting.
It is in the FAQ. Thanks, friend.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>