The 2008 NCheeseAA Final: British Cheddar vs. Mozzarella
Beautiful Cheddar Gorge
(Ready to vote? Click here! The poll stays open until Thursday morning.)
Bunting: I love pizza. I love it so much that even working in a pizza parlor for two semesters couldn’t break the bond I felt with one of mankind’s greatest culinary achievements. I also love insalata Caprese; when I went to Italy, I ate it every single day, and when I go out for Italian, I order it every single time. Obviously, then, I have nothing against mozzarella, except that it’s not a cheese that can really stand on its own: to shine, it needs to go on something, or in something, or with something. Yes, it’s a staple, but that doesn’t mean I think it belongs in this final. British Cheddar, by contrast, is a great snack with an apple; goes great on veggie chili; and is delicious all by its lonesome. I can’t sit here and tell you I wouldn’t eat mozzarella straight. I would; I have. It’s not a bad cheese, mozzarella. But “not bad” just isn’t good enough. The TGR/TN 2008 NCheeseAA Reader’s Medal Of Excellence should hang around the neck of a true, sharp champion: British Cheddar.
Keckler: I agree with my esteemed colleague from Brooklyn: mozzarella is good on a pizza. But for me, that’s pretty much all its good for. (Can’t stand the Caprese in Italy, in a gondola, on the lam — I CANNOT STAND CAPRESE SAM I AM!) Clearly, I’m revoltingly biased in this final match-up, especially since Brit Cheddar is my favorite cheese of all time. I appreciate mozzarella. I understand why other people like — even love — mozzarella. I just disagree with mozzarella. I want a cheese that is more than an ingredient. I want a snacker, a picnicker, a cheese that screams out from the fridge, “It is midnight and you are still up so clearly you need to partake of my sharp, smooth, deep deliciousness! Come, eat me on crackers, eat me with grilled scallions, or just eat me NAKED!” I want a cheese that doesn’t give up the rotting ghost if I forget it’s hanging out in my crisper. I want a cheese that doesn’t sit in its own juice like an old man in his sitz bath. I want a cheese that’s a champion, the winner of the TGR/TN 2008 NCheeseAA. I want Cheddar.
(Ready to vote? Click here! The poll stays open until Thursday morning.)
Tags: food
Poor Mozz. It’s not in the final two by mistake, but without an endorsement it’s going to get steamrolled. I do, I feel sad about this.
All hail Cheddar! Was there really ever any doubt?
I OBJECT!
String cheese is mozarella and is, without question, the best stand alone snackable cheese there is. We fill our pockets and fanny packery with stringy mozz and chocolate chip granola bars whenever we hit the slopes, for we know we will be trapped on the top of the mountain without cash for the ridiculously fancy-pants ONLY restaurant at the peak, and we will be starving. Plus, they can be thrown into the woods for a quick getaway should bears attack.
Also, there is nothing so glorious in this world as so-fresh-it-should-be-slapped-twice mozarella, especially when one enjoys it whilst contenting onself with fairy tales of the swarthy, brawny, unusually artistic, and wholly delectable, 19-year-old Italian cheese stringer in the back of the hole-in-the-wall shop who just produced this morsel for me, and who is currently packing his one duffel bag while I savor the moment so that we can run off together with his limited English and my ability to teach him naughty things.
Plus, sometimes cheddar gets all stinky.
I want a cheese that doesn’t sit in its own juice like an old man in his sitz bath.
That may be the NASTIEST description of mozzarella I have ever read. Thanks for that.
I don’t. Mozzarella, meh.
Cheddar is love. It’s not my favourite cheese – that honour currently belongs to the sweet Norwegian love I get from Jarlsberg – but it does, however, embody the true essence of cheeseness. In Australia, where I’m from, “cheese” means cheddar (and we do it British style, even if I suspect it would be profoundly illegal to import cheese from Britain). Anything else you have to give a type name too, but if you just say cheese, that cheese is cheddar.
Mmm, cheese.
“I want a cheese that doesn’t sit in its own juice like an old man in his sitz bath.”
ahahahahaha! That. Is. AWESOME.
And also true.
@Carolyn – don’t feel too bad. My vote was known long before the write-ups. I agree with Sars, (and Keckler, except about the hate-on for Caprese. It is deliciousness.) so there really wasn’t much of a contest for me.
Mozzarella is a lot like the nice guy you meet in college, the sweet, not-bad-looking, smart-enough guy you want to fall in love with, but just can’t, because there’s something missing, somehow. BC, OTOH…torrid hookups in the broom closet.
Actually you can eat mozzarella solo, providing it is the kind that is daily made, and therefore completely fresh (i.e., the kind that goes on Insalata Caprese). I can’t say it’s high on my list of things to eat solo, but it is there.
Does this mean I’m the only one who eats shredded mozzarella by the handful, straight out of the bag? It does? Okay, fine, that’s cool…
“…in its own juice like an old man in his sitz bath.”
EW!
I like mozzarella, but after that, I may NEVER eat it again. Thanks, Keckler.
I will stand up for Mozz. I’m not a fan of cheddars. I am not much of a cheese person, to my own disappointment. I do like some cheeses and love a few, but I’ve never really had a taste for a lot of them (nor a ton of exposure). Mozz, though not my favorite, I find much more comforting and acceptable than the Ched.
I’m going to have to go with mozzarella – I love me some caprese salad.
“I want a cheese that doesn’t sit in its own juice like an old man in his sitz bath.”
Thanks, Keckler. I will never, ever get that image out of my head, every time I see mozzerella, for the rest of my life. *d’oh*
I’ve got to admit, I am extremely disheartened at the lack of mozzarella love I’m seeing here. How can you NOT crown mozzarella the king of cheeses? It is absolutely fantabulous! On a hot summer day, what is better than fresh mozzarella balls smothered in italian dressing? You can’t eat cheddar cheese all by its lonesome on a sandwich, but sometimes a hard roll, freshly sliced mozzarella and a drizzle of oil and vinegar is, quite possibly, the best thing since sliced bread. (sidenote. I always thought it was the best thing since life spread. But regardless). Eat it alone! Use it to brighten up a dish! It can be used with anything, anywhere! Oh, my love for mozzarella is undying. And perhaps a bit overboard.
Don’t get me wrong. I love me some cheddar. But when given the option on a cheese plate, I will always choose the mozzarella.
I was on the fence for this one, maybe even leaning mozzarella’s way. Until “old man in his sitz bath.”
I did not know you could ruin something forever with such a simple phrase. I will never eat mozzarella again. Thanks. I am going to go hurl now.
Oh, I don’t feel sad at all; Mozzarella can suck it.
There can be only one! And if my local grocers started carrying it, that would be awesome! This whole contest has made me feel very, very deprived — imagine thinking about Havarti all day for three weeks and NOT HAVING ANY.
Mozzarella on fresh bread with basil, olive oil and tomatoes is heaven on earth. I’ve always found cheddar really overrated, but to each his or her own.
Cheddar is good on spagetti too… Where did I learn that? From my British in-laws, who always have an enormous chunk of cheddar in their fridge. Oh, I envy the people who can get real cheese at their local grocery. Anyway, British Cheddar for the win. (Although, Caprese = Yum)
@Reilly: Oh, one absolutely can eat a nice sharp British cheddar cheese all by its lonesome on a sandwich. Grilled or plain, and a delicious sandwich it is.
“You can’t eat cheddar cheese all by its lonesome on a sandwich”
I beg to differ. Although I usually nuke it for a bit first.
Oh, it was bad enough, what Keckler said. *Shudder.* But then Reilly had to go and add “mozzarella balls.”
Those two images together have FINISHED mozzarella for me, thanks.
I’m with cheddar all the way. It’s just delish- the older, the better. Plus, I went on exchange to Somerset in high school, and since the school was less than 15km from Cheddar Gorge, off we went to see how the cheese was made. So I simply have to vote for the cheese made in a place that has a soundtrack that sings “Isn’t Cheddar Gorge-ous”, annoying as it was at the time.
I have no such warm fuzzies for mozz. Plus Keckler just killed any lukewarm fuzzies I might have had beforehand…ew to the imagery. No fuzzies left at all. Cold dryer lint now.
Cheddar. Cheddar. If only because mozzarella is Mafia- and scandal-ridden: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/europe/italys-toxic-waste-crisis-the-mafia-ndash-and-the-scandal-of-europes-mozzarella-799289.html.
This is NONSENSE!
How would your life change tomorrow, if cheddar was suddenly gone? Here’s the answer: It wouldn’t. It would be exactly the same. There is no aspect of daily life that absoutely hinges on cheddar’s existance.
Now, consider the world without Mozzarella. I’m pretty sure you’d have immediate violence spread throughout the globe. What’s going to happen in NY City if pizza disappears tomorrow? Someone’s gonna get shot, that’s what. Foods like pizza demonstrate that Mozzarella occupies a unique position in the world of food.
Cheddar is great.. but it’s just cheddar.
Mozzarella is a bridge to a whole world of cheezy melty goodness. That kind of power needs to be appreciated.
Imagine a world where you had to put cheddar on your pizza, because there was no mozzarella. Do you know what cheddar looks like when it melts like that? It looks like cancer. Do you want to eat cancer? I don’t.
Noid, you almost made me reconsider my cheddar-is-better position. Almost. As the daughter of a cheesemaker who specialized in cheddar his entire career, I’d probably be disowned if I actually crossed that line.
@Noid, when covered with toppings, fontina would probably do just as well on pizza. Not so much on Caprese salad, but no-one expects a firefight over a salad.
Granted, there are more attractive melted cheeses than naked melted Cheddar. However. Without Cheddar, you deprive millions of children of the chance…nay, the *right* to grow up with a grilled-cheese sandwich, and I do not refer to the version shilled in Kraft ads. I guarantee you that tasteless mozz will not hold its own in a grilled or fried butter-slathered sandwich the way that lovely, flavourful Cheddar would. And with PBJs a no-no because of allergies, childhoods would be destroyed if there were no Cheddar to grill into a sandwich. And since it’s hidden inside the bread, you don’t have to look at it if you don’t want to.
Hm. Hungry now, wonder why…
I hear you all about cheddar. It’s more exciting, more flashy, a better stand-alone. All this is true.
But really, if that’s what this was about for me, there are at least 8 other cheeses that were knocked out already that do that job way better.
The question is, like Noid said, which cheese is the one that is there for me, that my life would not be the same without, that I actually buy on a regular basis?
That cheese is mozzarella.
I’m becoming convinced that British Cheddar is being promoted by Satan, the price of lies. No doubt that’s where it gets it orange color.
To think that cheddar heads would claim credit for the wonder that is the grilled cheese sandwich, is, quite frankly, obscene.
Grilled Cheese, while often containing an orange cheese, is rarely going to be brittish cheddar. The sandwiches we grew up eatting in public school cafeterias across the country, with their dried out crusts so hard that they could cut particle board unless dipped in generic tomato soup out of a 15 gallon can… those wonders of culinary perfection were not made with british cheddar. They were made with ultra processed american cheese. Orange, to be sure, but I think we can all agree that orange does not a cheddar make.
And why do they use american cheese instead of cheddar?
Because when you melt cheddar, it looks like cancer.
And while we all no doubt grew our own little lumps of melted cheddar from all of the toxic paint and asbestos that protected our public schools, we did not EAT it.
But do you know what we DID eat?
We ate pizza one day a week… And every kid knew what day the cafeteria sold pizza. Usually, it was friday, because by giving us pizza on friday, the school helped guarantee that there was at least some non-zero chance that we would return the following monday. Even the kids who brought their lunches from HOME would abandon their mothers’ home cooked meal for the chance of eatting pizza.
And what pizza it was! Easilly the lowest you could possibly go, while still calling it pizza, public school pizza was little more than a piece of dry bread, with possibly one teaspoon of tomato sauce (almost certainly chemically identical to the 15 gallon tomato soup)… and mozzarella cheese.
Mozzarella cheese was able to turn what was essentially a sailor’s biscuit from the 17th century British Navy, into a delicacy that every single child would look forward to.
And THAT my friends, is why Mozzarella is the king. It holds a power over us that is unparalleled in the world of food. You can melt mozzarella over anything, and make it better.
It’s the freaking bacon of cheese.
Cayenne, I am frankly offended by your intimation that Caprese is just a salad. I will submit that Caprese is in fact the best proof we have of God’s love for mankind.
Given that (and burrata and pizza), my vote is for mozz. Also because Connecticuters pronounce it “mootz,” or “mootzarell” if you’re nasty. If that’s not worth saving, I don’t know what is.
I *heart* grilled cheese with mozzarella. In fact, I love mozzarella so much that I have learned to make it from scratch, for my own enjoyment. I got out and buy a gallon of whole milk, go through the cheesemaking gestalt, all so I can have a nice fresh ball of mozzarella. Because, that fresh? It is perfect.
I like cheddar, but I wouldn’t do that for cheddar. I’d just buy it at the store.
“There is no aspect of daily life that absoutely hinges on cheddar’s existance.”
My grilled cheese, my Welsh rarebit, my Ploughman’s Lunch, my beer cheese soup, my apple pie…yeah, lots of things would be gone for me if Cheddar didn’t exist. As for mozz? I’ve had pizzas without mozz and instead with other melty cheeses like fontina etc, so I’m good with it disappearing forever.
“Do you know what cheddar looks like when it melts like that? It looks like cancer. Do you want to eat cancer?”
Man, I need to ask my fellow cheesemonger friend if her thyroid cancer looked like melted cheddar. Huh.
Wow. It’s hard to disagree with such well written arguments, and I doubt Mozzarella will stand a chance now. But I have to try, knowing that at least Noid will understand:
Sure, mozzarella is not my favorite cheese. I would go so far as to objectively say it’s not the best-tasting cheese. That honor for me currently goes to Gran Canaria, an artisan cheese I had in Madison. It was so delectable I savored every second the sample was in my mouth, and so expensive that each sample of a few flakes probably cost a few bucks. But I digress.
Now I’m not gonna say mozzarella is great and cheddar is just cheese. I love both. But I will say that there is merit (indeed there is an inherent increase in potential energy, if you will) in how well mozzarella combines with other things. As an ingredient, as a complementary flavor, as a willing melt for a sandwich, as a stuffing for meatballs, as a breaded deep-fried staple of college late-night cafeterias. Its versatility and complementary nature are what makes it the deserved winner.
Now I love mangoes. Absolutely delicious…but you haven’t had them until you’ve had them in the Thai fashion, warmed up with coconut milk-infused sticky rice. It’s the combination of flavors that makes it greater than the sum of its parts. Now I don’t know from Italian, or what insalata caprese is, but in 10th grade, my English teacher Ms. Berry brought in fresh mozzarella and tomato slices on the last day of class. It changed my life.
Going with the mozzarella. Shred it up and eat it. Love the fresh stuff, love the string cheese version, love the supermarket block version. What’s not to love?
“It’s the freaking bacon of cheese.”
And I don’t eat meat, so: try again.
Heh heh, Reilly said mozzarella balls … and Sami does it British style … and Ariel has a “willing melt.” (Sounds like a porno move)
Okay, all the political news is frying my brain tonight. But I recognize genius when I see it, and Keckler, your little peroration is right up there with Proust and his freakin’ madeleines.
We need a T-shirt: I DISAGREE WITH MOZZARELLA.
Alternatively:
NAKED SCREAMING CHEESE-HEAD
Okay, somebody said bacon. Bacon and cheddar on a sandwich. Yum! Also, bacon, cheddar, and tomato sandwich. Yum! Mozzarella is good, whether regular or buffalo but cheddar is king.
“I’m becoming convinced that British Cheddar is being promoted by Satan, the price of lies. No doubt that’s where it gets it orange color.”
Uh, Noid? British Cheddar is white, not yellow. Like this bit of cheesy goodness being delivered to me today: http://www.freshdirect.com/product.jsp?catId=england&productId=eng_ched_som&trk=feat
MMMMmmmmmmmmm…..
Next time I fly into Bristol, I have to get off the A38 and stop in Cheddar – I’ve driven past the sign many times, but never stopped. It’s time to visit the home of the best cheese on Earth.
For those who feel BC is necessary for grilled cheese, I have three words for you: mozzarella in carrozza. Nigella’s version of the recipe uses the word “wodge” as if it were a culinary term. Who could beat that?
And to second the eloquent Noid, I present Jonathan Coulton’s summary of the feelings mozz-laden pizza evokes in all of us, from the time we are very small and hanging on until lunch in the school cafeteria to the time when we are not so small and hanging on until lunch in the corporate cafeteria: the song Pizza Day, http://tiny.cc/oV8WW
I’ve had Vermont Cheddar, and I liked it fine. I’ve had some British Cheddar that I’ve loved, and some I did not love. But Ontario Cheddar, about five or six years old? *That*, my friends, is salty, crumbly, biting bliss. Ontario Cheddar’s gonna take the NCheeseAA next year!
Vote for the mozzarella here. Not because I don’t like cheddar; I do. But because of one single thing:
My Italian grandmother’s baked ziti topped with mozzarella cheese. Cheese that has been slightly broiled so that it’s golden brown, with the crispy ziti under it, that sparked over 1,000,000 table fights over who gets the crust. That my friends, just flat out wins.
Baked ziti = love. How can you not vote for love?
Grilled cheese with fake cheddar is an abomination, no question – one, maybe two, steps away from Soylent Green. But when you’re five years old, it’s unlikely you know the difference, especially if you drench it in ketchup. Grow up a bit, and if you’re lucky to have someone like my mum, you’ll come to appreciate the sublimity that is grilled cheese with real Cheddar.
I second Keckler’s list, and add: Cheeseburger.
Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!
I know some la-di-da types prepare them with other cheeses, mozz most notably (frickin A&W, it’s all your fault), though I’ve seen them with fontina, Swiss, provolone & even brie – crazy people! – and there’s nothing that stands up to and out from the strong flavours of the beef, carbon, onions, and other condiments than a slice of great Cheddar. There’s a reason Cheddar is the traditional crown on a burger; all the others are little party tiaras. I can’t eat most meats because they’ll sit like lead in my gut for days, but I will take that discomfort for a great cheeseburger.
Oh, and sharp cheddar + red pepper jelly on a triscuit. Yum.
Anyone who disparages mozzarella has clearly never had Di Bruno Bros’ freshly-rolled, still-warm, ovals of heaven. It is worth the trip to Philadelphia for the finest mozzarell’ outside Italy. This stuff is nothing short of miraculous–I wouldn’t be surprised if it caused flower petals to fall from the sky and cured leprosy in kittens.
http://www.dibruno.com/
I’ve never been a cheddar girl, but marinated mozzarella salad? Fresh mozz with pesto in a panini? Or melted on ziti? Paradise. I dare your cheddar to melt this smoothly!
@Sandman – Balderson’s 5-year. LOVE.
@cayenne: Maple Dale Five Year Old – or Six Year Old, if you can find it. LOVE. LOVE.
I find Balderson’s, I’m sorry to say, a pale shadow of its former lusty self. My beloved Gran used to get a piece of seven year old Cheddar occasionally, from a family friend at Balderson’s Cheese Factory when it was still small scale and family-run. I dream of it, sometimes.
@Cayenne & Sandman – That’s where my dad worked for years, until they shut down production at the actual cheese factory in Balderson and moved it to the Ault/Parmalat plant. He used to bring us home 5lb bags of fresh curd, still warm from the vats.
And you know how most people have a beer fridge? Our family had a cheese fridge. He’d bring the 40lb blocks home from cheese shows and cut them up in more manageable chunks. I always liked getting the pieces from the spot where they had pulled the sample, because it had a nice, round hole straight through the slice.
Watching my dad, his dad, and my uncle (all cheesemakers) eat cheese is like watching a wine connoisseur sample a new bottle of red. There’s a process to it, and it endlessly fascinates me.
So yeah. Still cheddar.
@Hellcat13 — I would so love to meet your family.
I hate Caprese salad. There, I said it. However, I like tomatoes marinated with basil, salt, pepper, and a bit of good vinegar and olive oil. Thus, the mozzarella must be the problem. I also really really hate big clumps of melted cheese. Grilled cheese is fine, the goo is encased in bread and doesn’t make a giant plastic-y lump on the plate. Pizza with extra cheese scares the crap out of me.
I’ve had all forms of mozz; the fresh, the grocery-store brand, the mozzarella di bufala. None of them do it. There is no question in my mind that British cheddar is the winner. Hell, in my case, Albertson’s brand extra sharp would be enough to win!