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Home » Culture and Criticism

The N Cookie AA Semifinal, Round 1

Submitted by on July 23, 2014 – 6:33 PM17 Comments


This is rouuuuuugh, you guys! Basically, I’m expecting a major fight between Thin Mints, Tagalongs, and Milanos.

However, in the end, I’m preeeeetty certain Thin Mints will win out. There might be a slight muscling in by the Dub Stufs, but I don’t think they’ll get far.

Meanwhile, here’s my editorial remark: Hey, Oreo — what’s with the missing “F”? You too cool to spell correctly? Never understood that. — Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic

…I think it was even spelled “Dubble Stuf” at one point. There’s nothing less cute than the craven attempts of marketing departments to be “kidsy” with childlike spellings and backwards letters.

…Anyway. I swear on a shelf of Bibles that we randomized the semifinalists. Neither of us is evil enough to conceptualize a flight so thoroughly wretched that Sophie herself would look at the “choice” and be like, “Hard pass” — and even if we were, why would we do it to ourselves? This is impossible on two fronts: to vote, and to predict.

But vote I must, I suppose, and let’s have some real talk here: I’m-a vote for Thin Mints, and then I’m-a open a new browser and vote for Tagalongs. And then I’m-a vote for Tagalongs again from my phone probably? I’m only human.

What you’ll do is another matter, and I suspect it’s something similar as far as gaming the decision itself. We can likely eliminate Milani, Tagalongs, and Trefoils from the conversation, but any of the other three could come through. I’m betting Thin Mints, with a strong rally by Double Stuf. — Sarah D. Bunting


Vote for your favorite cookie!

  • Girl Scout Thin Mints (42%, 232 Votes)
  • Girl Scout Tagalongs / peanut butter patties (21%, 118 Votes)
  • Oreos, Double Stuf (17%, 93 Votes)
  • Pepperidge Farm Milanos, milk chocolate (13%, 70 Votes)
  • Girl Scout Trefoils/Scoteas/Shortbread (4%, 22 Votes)
  • Graham crackers (4%, 21 Votes)

Total Voters: 556

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  • Ben says:

    Thin mints are … fine. I guess? But I put them with graham crackers: I would eat them if there were nothing else, they’re not smushed-raisin filled hate pucks, but they only barely register as a treat.

    C’mon double stuff… er stuf? Really one f? I must be too busy enjoying them to be bothered by that on the package and that’s saying something.

  • Yoshi says:

    I had to go the graham cracker spoiler. They’re not the first I’d reach for on this list, but when I want a graham cracker *nothing else will do*. They are pure, they are incorruptible, thy can turn into pie. Vote graham!

  • attica says:

    I’ve always sort of thought the double stuffing threw off the cookie-cream balance in the O. I only need a single stuff. Heh.

  • Jill TX says:

    I used to LOVE Tagalongs, but the last few years they’ve been so nasty! What happened?! They’re a weird combination of oily and stale, and they make me queasy. I miss the good ones!

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    Not ONE vote for Trefoils. Dang.

  • scout1222 says:

    Not ONE, but TWO! (she says from the future)

  • MizShrew says:

    I voted for Trefoils! I always knew them as Shortbread, but still.

    I suspect as the wee-minority chocolate-allergic person, nothing I vote for will win out, but I will support of the shortbread all the same.

  • MizShrew says:

    That should be “show support of the shortbread.” I need a cookie.

  • Judy says:

    I think at one time it was “double stuft”? So when they dropped the T the other F just didn’t come back? And I totally agree with Jill about the Tagalongs…

  • Kristin 2 the Kristin Boogaloo says:

    @Yoshi – you do you, baby. Go ahead with your bad graham cracker self.

    I am personally hoping that Tagalongs pull out the surprise victory against the Thin Mint oppressors.

  • Jem says:

    Mint is my drug of choice, be it cookies, candy, or ice cream, so while I do love me some Milanos, I’ll sacrifice the plain milk chocolate variety in favor of the Girl Scout queen of all things mint. Thank you, randomizer, for not putting my beloved Mint Milanos in this category! Talk about going Sophie’s Choice on my ass…

  • Sandman says:

    This is actually a super-easy choice for me, since the GS entries are all non-starters, and, like attica, I find the proportions of filling to cookie are off with D(o)ub(b)le Stu(f)f(t). Whatever. Milanos!

  • Liz says:

    Yep, I’m an originalist when it comes to Oreos. I like Oreos a lot, but I always buy the regular ones.

    Yeah, Thin Mints are just okay. I mean, they’re good, and I’m going to buy a box… well, okay, two, this kid is cute and staring at me… yeah, I might as well have one now, though I should get some milk to go with it… hm, I have milk left, I’ll have a few more, just relax a bit and… hey, how did I finish this sleeve by myself?

  • Robin in Philly says:

    Double Stufs for me, here. I’m not a big Oreo person generally (black stuff in my molars all day, no thanks), BUT if you twist the tops off two of these and put them together, you get a Quadruple Stuf. And THAT, my friends, is the Stuf heaven is made of.

    (Well, if you were a kid with an icing fetish, that is…)

  • bluesabriel says:

    Making me choose between Thin Mints and Tagalongs is a cruel, cruel thing.

    The thought of eating frozen Thin Mints in the summer makes my decision, though. Heaven.

    Trefoils can die in a fire.

  • Leigh in CO says:

    Tech is foiling my Trefoil ballot-stuffing attempts (it’s not cheating if the votes go to a sure loser, right?). I’ll be sorry to see them go, especially if the winner is Double Stuf. TOO MUCH FILLING.

  • Aimee says:

    I’m a Trefoils fan all the way. I honestly can’t stand Thin Mints, Tagalongs, or any of the other girl scout cookies. All Oreos are gross. Unless using them for a cheesecake crust, of course.

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