“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Home » Culture and Criticism

The NC Double Shot: The Sweet Hic!steen

Submitted by on June 6, 2011 – 2:33 PM34 Comments

Today’s write-ups by Sarah D. Bunting. Confused? Click here. Need an ingredients list? Googletini.

1 Bloody Mary vs. 5 Cape Cod. I love Bloodies — love love love them. I love the bite of the lemon juice and the horseradish, the meatiness of the Worstie, all the snacks in the glass, and best of all, its medicinal qualities. Even thinking about one can start burning off a hangover fog for me. But it seems from the comments as though not everyone enjoys tomato juice, which is a perfectly valid GET OFF MY WEBSITE, INFIDELS! …Just kidding. I don’t get it, but it’s valid — and deeply held. Nobody just “doesn’t care for” tomato. It’s always a hate-on. [“I hate to mention this but in my picky-eating-book research, a psychiatrist told me that tomatoes are the most commonly hated food in her experiences.” — Keckler] Add to that the Cape Cod(der)’s own deliciousness, and I just don’t know how it’s going to go. I predict an upset.

1 Bloody Mary vs. 5 Cape Cod

  • Cape Cod (56%, 402 Votes)
  • Bloody Mary (44%, 315 Votes)

Total Voters: 717

Loading ... Loading ...

6 Bellini vs. 7 Champagne Cocktail. OMG, brutal match-up. For me, it’s going to come down to the “terms of use” question we often pose to match-ups in these snackets: do you vote based on liking it the best, or on “having to” drink one or the other every day forever? I like Bellinis better, but if I had to pick one for the rest of my cocktailing time on earth, I’d have to go with the CC. Mmm, lemony. Both drinks upset their opponents in the last round, but the Bellini did so by a wider margin, so I think it wins again here.

6 Bellini vs. 7 Champagne Cocktail

  • Bellini (64%, 429 Votes)
  • Champagne Cocktail (36%, 246 Votes)

Total Voters: 675

Loading ... Loading ...

1 Gin and Tonic vs. 5 Daiquiri. And now, a short play about the sneaky-strong strawberry margaritas at El Parador:

Sarah: “Wow, this daiquiri is amazing.
Couch Baron: “…Apparently.”

I like a plain old original daiquiri very much; start adding berries and melon, and you lose me. I don’t know how it fares here, but I think the G ‘n’ T (known in the Bunting family as “the geent”) wins. It’s an elegant summer drink, and summer has arrived; it can fend off the gin-haters to fight another day.

1 Gin and Tonic vs. 5 Daiquiri

  • Gin and Tonic (54%, 384 Votes)
  • Daiquiri (46%, 324 Votes)

Total Voters: 708

Loading ... Loading ...

3 Cuba Libre / Rum and Coke vs. 2 Cosmopolitan. Just as tough a choice as Bellini v. Champagne Cocktail, but in a different way: I don’t like either drink and never order them. Both too sweet, both rather boring. Tough one to call winner-wise as well, but my bet is that S&TC backlash plus fond memories of illicit boozing in wood-paneled basements with boys named Thad gives rum-and-cokes the victory.

3 Cuba Libre / Rum and Coke vs. 2 Cosmopolitan

  • Cuba Libre / Rum and Coke (61%, 421 Votes)
  • Cosmopolitan (39%, 271 Votes)

Total Voters: 692

Loading ... Loading ...

9 Mimosa vs. 4 Pimm’s Cup. Mimosa upset Martini in a big way in the last round, whereas Pimm’s Cup had something of a fight, so I don’t know how this one shakes out. The Mimosa’s simplicity is admirable — champagne; juice; done — but it’s not something I look forward to, particularly. I’ll take it if it’s offered, but it’s just there, and if it’s made with cheap brunch-rush ingredients, enh. The Cup is more of a destination drink, one to anticipate during a long workday, and it’s very hard to make badly. The Cup, by a nose.

9 Mimosa vs. 4 Pimm's Cup

  • Mimosa (55%, 380 Votes)
  • Pimm's Cup (45%, 307 Votes)

Total Voters: 687

Loading ... Loading ...

3 Manhattan vs. 10 Margarita. It pains me, but this one’s no contest: margs will stomp the venerable Manhattan flat. Infinite variations and salt with the sweet = a crowd-pleaser that probably wins the whole shooting match. Sorry, Big Apple, but Mexico’s got your number.

3 Manhattan vs. 10 Margarita

  • Margarita (78%, 551 Votes)
  • Manhattan (22%, 159 Votes)

Total Voters: 710

Loading ... Loading ...

8 Planter’s Punch vs. 13 Shirley Temple. Enough already with the Shirley Temple, seriously. It beat the Sea Breeze thanks to Keckler’s pitch-perfect remembrance; it beat the Sidecar because brandy and lemon is not everyone’s jam. But a Planter’s Punch is a Shirley Temple, just with more shit in it — shit like alcohol, which is what we’re doing here — so people, quit fucking around and send the kiddie corps home with the nanny already.

…And with that, I just guaranteed a flurry of defensive “so there!” voting that will assure another victory for Ms. Temple. Ugh.

8 Planter's Punch vs. 13 Shirley Temple

  • Planter's Punch (66%, 454 Votes)
  • Shirley Temple (34%, 229 Votes)

Total Voters: 683

Loading ... Loading ...

6 Tom Collins vs. 2 Sangria. Ol’ Thomas has gotten further than I’d anticipated, but sangria is a veritable fruity buzzsaw so far, and that will continue. If you’re not too busy stealing “Fruity Buzzsaw” as a band name, you’ll be voting for sangria in droves.

6 Tom Collins vs. 2 Sangria

  • Sangria (77%, 547 Votes)
  • Tom Collins (23%, 159 Votes)

Total Voters: 706

Loading ... Loading ...



  • Beth C. says:

    Tom Collins vs. Sangria??? Arg! My two favorites for two completely different reasons. This is painful.

  • I’m in the opposite boat to Beth C: I think both Shirley Temple and Planter’s Punch are disgusting (I don’t do fruit punch or grenadine, as a rule). However, I had to give Planter’s Punch the edge here, since at least it will get you drunk to take your mind off the nasty taste.

  • Erin says:

    You think people have strong feelings about tomato juice, you should see the Canadian split between “Mmm, Caesar” and “I’m sorry, you’re drinking WHAT juice? CLAM?” In theory I’m the latter but in practice, mmmm, Caesar.

  • Lianne says:

    I have a hate-on for tomato juice, but I have a bigger hate-on for cranberry juice, so I’ll give the bloody mary its vote.

    This one was hard… too many “I hate both of those!” choices. :> (Okay, so which do I hate more…) Though I will never understand why I don’t like daquiris when I like every ingredient in a daquiri.

  • attica says:

    In my own defense (considering we’re on a site dedicated to the red fruit) I love tomatoes — as long as they’re cooked. A little caramelizing is all it takes to win me over. Raw and/or juice? No thanks; more for you. (The green pepper is infinitely more loathesome, in my book, as its raw grossness is magnified by the application of heat.)

    So having thus unburdened myself, cue up the Patti Page.

  • cayenne says:

    @Erin, I’m with you on the Caesar. Tomato on its own is gnarly, but switch to Clamato (especially when suddenly you’re surrounded by ninjas), go heavy on the hot sauce, switch the celery out (blerf) & a long cucumber stick in, and it’s the perfect morning-after-too-many-margaritas eye-opener.

    I have never had Planter’s Punch (and would only drink the orange juice version, cos pineapple is vile), but voted for it because the Shirley Temple has to go. Cocktail = boozy concoction, so the ST’s presence at this level is an abomination. Enough already.

  • MizShrew says:

    I am surprised and saddened that the martini lost out already. So now I’m rooting for my summer fave Gin and Tonic.

    And yes, it is well past bedtime for Shirley.

  • Rachel says:

    I am normally a non-daquiri/fruity ‘margarita’ sort of lady, but the short play set at El Parador NAILS IT. Because those things are AMAAAAAAZING (and get even more amazing as you continue to drink them, especially if there is a wait for a table and oopsy, the bathroom is down the stairs OMG there is a whole ‘nother bar down here why did I try to be all fancy and wear heels how I am going to get back up there and what if I have to pee again), and the food isn’t bad, either. Actually, the food could be horrible, but after a few of those strawberry ‘ritas, it doesn’t matter.

    …which is to say I voted for the Daquiri. I would have anyway, since gin is Teh Yukk, but the El Parador shout-out sealed the deal. :)

  • Jane says:

    I am the opposite of Lianne… the Bloody vs. Cape Cod pits two of my favorites against each other. They have totally different applications! Hangover? Brunch? Bring me a spicy Bloody Mary, sir. But a Ketel & cran is my go-to bar cocktail. Dammit.

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    OMG there is a whole ‘nother bar down here

    Right?! We once had a TWoP writers’ dinner down there. Best!

    …Dang, now I want the taco tray like pronto.

  • Dorine says:

    Okay, forgive me if this is a dumb question, but can one get a daquiri on the rocks like a margarita? Because I, like Lianne above, like the ingredients in daquiris but do not like the daquiris themselves. Am wondering if it is due to the same reason that I don’t like blended margaritas (or harvey wallbangers). . . i.e., too much chopped ice watering down the flavors.

  • Maria says:

    @attica: Everything you said. Exactly.

    My aversion to gin is so strong that I pretty much just voted an “Anything But Gin” straight ticket. Well, more gin for the gin-drinkers.

    I may have to take up the sauce again just to have a strawberry margarita this summer…

  • Kate Monster says:

    This whole thing just keeps reminding me how much I fucking hate grenadine.

  • Jeanne says:

    @Dorine: Yes! A proper daiquiri is served on the rocks and contains only rum, lime juice, and simple syrup. Nothing else. None of this blended frozen strawberry crap.

  • M says:

    I pretty much just vote gin across the board. And I need to go get some for the upcoming heat wave on Wednesday. Some days call for an ice tea and a gin and tonic-not together-one in each hand.

    Dorine, a basic daiquiri can be served on the rocks, since it’s rum and lime juice, sweetened. Drinks with simple recipes don’t necessarily need a cocktail shaker, just a stirrer and plenty of ice in the glass. Booze is so wonderfully flexible.

  • Bridget says:

    Keckler wrote a book on picky eating? I. MUST. HAVE.

  • Watts says:

    @Maria – completely with you on the anti-gin ticket. I’m agin gin.

  • Hannah says:

    I totally had to reverse my gin stance from last round (and from, like, the last eight years). I had to work an event last night, standing outdoors, in Florida, in JUNE. But their “signature cocktail” of the evening was something with gin and mint and cucumber. It was like suddenly having one of those misting fans blowing on my neck. Amazing.

  • Toni says:

    Tomatoes? Love!

    Tomato Juice? Haaate!

    Cooked tomatoes are an “it-depends.” I don’t like big chunks of cooked tomato in my pizza sauce, I don’t like tomato-based vegetable soups, but I’m otherwise fine with tomato-based sauces.

    Wait, what? Alcohol?

  • Keckler says:

    @Bridget, heh, not *wrote*. (I wish.) More like, “writing and hoping to god I finish.” Deadline is Dec 1, and pub date is tentatively sometime in 2012.

    @Dorine: what Jeanne said. Daiquiris are not slushies.

  • ElizabethA says:

    I’m so voting All Things Anti-Gin as well.

  • KTB says:

    Huh, I guess the reason I don’t like daiquiris is that I’ve never had a good one. That seems to sum up most things I’ve discovered that I thought I didn’t like, but actually really do. Like asparagus.

    That said, G&T all the way. Best summer drink EVER.

    Conversely, the Cape Cod was a no-brainer for me, since I can’t even smell tomato juice without feeling a little nauseous.

    Plus whatever on the anti-Shirley train. I never even drank those as a kid–too sweet.

  • Jeanne says:

    I’m on the anti-gin train as well. Ick.

    There’s nothing like a cape codder made from freezer chilled vodka and cranberry juice and poured into a chilled glass, so refreshing.

  • Peter L says:

    How can Pimm’s Cup be behind? It is the very essence of summer! Mimosas are just the essence of unimaginative brunches. Maybe I am just bitter since the delightful Sidecar was bumped out by the &*%! Shirley Temple in a bout of insanity!

  • adam807 says:

    Wow. I am…upset. Maybe it’s the heat talking, but I am genuinely distressed by how this is shaking out.

    The Manhattan and the Margarita are my drinks. It’s not like I don’t drink anything else ever, but chances are REALLY good you’ll find me with one of those. I can’t believe you’re making me choose between my delicious babies.

    There are other outcomes here that just seem wrong to me. I don’t want to judge, but I’m totally judging.

  • Janna says:

    Manhattan-drinking people (or, for that matter, Manhattan-hating people), I discovered something great at a local restaurant. The Maple Manhattan – maple whiskey, sweet vermouth, bitters. Shaken, so that tiny shards of ice remain, and served in a martini glass, no garnish.

    I don’t even LIKE whiskey and I love this drink.

    Also, thanks whoever brought up Pimm’s with blackberries (I’m too lazy to go back and look it up in the previous comments), because I just happened to have both in the fridge, and it is a delight.

  • adam807 says:

    @Janna There’s also a version of that with bacon-infused Bourbon.

  • adam807 says:

    Also, I am not a gin person, but I made a bowl of this – – for my last holiday party and oh my god, you guys.

  • Andrea says:

    Bloody Marys are also a life saver when people decide to order drinks “first”, and you’re sitting there, starving to death. Snacks in a glass, as Sars has noted!!

  • LizzieKath says:

    @Dorine – I think the classic Daiquiri is served up. At least that’s what Alton Brown told me on my teevee, and I believe everything Alton Brown tells me. Seriously, though, a little rum, a little lime, a little simple syrup – divine.

    @Peter L – I, too, am outraged that the Pimm’s Cup isn’t rolling over the blehhhhh Mimosa. The first time I drank Pimm’s, on study abroad in England, I tipsily exclaimed, “This is like drinking sunshine!” AND IT IS. Everyone should drink this. Right now.

  • Melissa says:

    Here’s my gin story..short, and with a happy ending. Midwestern girl hits Iowa campus as a LEGAL drinker in 1973. Girl hates beer, nothing she can do about it. Girl discovers the Tom Collins, decides to stay after all, and a week later cops a taste from a suede 70s style boda full of Tanqueray and tonic at a football game. The angels sing! The heavens weep! My companion tells me, “As long as you stick to decent gin, you’ll never be hung over…”

    Girl marries companion. Now our oldest son eschews gin and sticks to Captain Morgan spiced rum….

  • Jody says:

    @Melissa That is so much nicer than my Midwestern girl hits Mizzou campus and meets gin story. I was invited to my very first off campus college party. The first drink my friend made for me was vodka and Dr. Pepper (Seriously. College, jeez.) When I was ready for my next drink she went back to the freezer and accidentally grabbed the gin bottle instead. Gin and Dr. Pepper…I don’t think I need to say more. Being the incredibly socially awkward “please let me fit in with the big kids” type, I didn’t say a word. It took me nearly 15 years to recover and give gin a second chance.

  • Sandman says:

    The first drink my friend made for me was vodka and Dr. Pepper (Seriously. College, jeez.)

    Oh, man. Doctor Blerf.

    I’m with Jeanne on the Daiquiri Principle.

    I hate gin worse than I hate vodka (which is a lot), but now I’m thinking I should try a Pimm’s Cup.

    There are other outcomes here that just seem wrong to me. I don’t want to judge, but I’m totally judging.

    Heh. It’s like these brackets now have a theme shong. Ssong.

  • […] The NC Double Shot: The Sweet Hic!steen […]

Leave a comment!

Please familiarize yourself with the Tomato Nation commenting policy before posting.
It is in the FAQ. Thanks, friend.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>