Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Home » Donors Choose and Contests

Updated Tomato Stats

Submitted by on November 2, 2007 – 5:28 PM15 Comments

people not named Will Forte who thought I was an apple: 5

people not named Will Forte who asked if I forgot what day Halloween is/was dressing up late: 6

times Will Forte did each of those things: 1

“oh, so you’re 364 days early then” jokes Will Forte then bungled: 1

oogy semi-suggestive remarks involving biting or squeezing me: 2

such remarks made by Will Forte: 0

people mistaking me for a cranberry: 2

network presidents initially mistaking me for an orange: 1

“I’m telling you, she’s a cranberry” / “yo, she’s AN APPLE” dollar bets settled to the satisfaction of exactly no one: 1

Japanese tourists I have posed with: 3

fire drills during which I wound up standing awkwardly beside the fire marshal, trying not to look like Sadie The Fire Safety Tomato: 1

lollipop-eating guys who sniffed me in the elevator: 1 (long story)

singing-homeless dudes wanting to know what play I was trying out for: 1

moms who ignored their toddlers’ insistence that there was a giant tomato nearby, because toddlers say all manner of crazy crap and why would this be any different (“that’s great, Ethan, now put your hat on, come on”): 3

number of either fat or orange stripey cats that can fit into the upended tomato costume: 2

Share!
Pin Share


Tags:    

15 Comments »

  • MacGruber! Makes life-saving inventions out of household materials!
    MacGruber! He fumbles his tomato jokes but we won’t hold it against him!
    The guy’s a frikkin’ genius, MacGruber!

    See you in 30…

  • Doriette says:

    re: “moms who ignored…”:

    BWAH!

    Reminds me of the story about when my parents went out to dinner, and there was a little kid in a highchair at another table, and my dad stuck his tongue out at the kid, and the kid stuck his tongue out at my dad, and the mom yelled at the kid because she didn’t see my dad do it.

    (See? I came by ‘bitch’ naturally. It’s in my genes.)

  • tulip says:

    Um…I think that Will Forte is pretty cute!!
    Number of people jealous that even in a tomato costume you can still run into cute actors in New York – 1
    ;)
    You my friend are AWESOME.

  • Tara says:

    That makes three out of three TWoP founders who’ve run across Will Forte this week.

    And I hope the lollipop-eating guy who sniffed you in the elevator wasn’t Dave.

  • KPP says:

    “network presidents initially mistaking me for an orange: 1”

    Whaaa? Oranges…are orange. I mean, at least with apples and cranberries, you’re in the right color family.

  • Melissa says:

    Number of people named Will Forte who work near Sars that are apparently not as spontaneously funny as you would assume based on their day job: 1

  • Noelle says:

    Tell me you thanked him for Clone High.

    Sorry, nothing to do with Tomotoes.

  • Rach says:

    You didn’t get a ton of weird comments inside the building though did you? I spent some time working over in 9W…and this schtuff is common place there :)

  • Sars says:

    @Tara: It was neither Dave. Unfortunately.

  • Laura says:

    Jesus, you’re awesome.

  • Molly says:

    Oh, man, sounds like a fun day. For some reason, the Japanese tourist part makes me laugh the hardest. Wish I could’ve made it, but I have both a cold (WITH a stomach bug! Yay!) and a terminally ill cat to deal with. Oh well, if next year’s stunt is public, I’ll do my best to be there. Can’t wait for the video!

  • RJ says:

    Good ol’ Will Forte! :)

  • courtney says:

    so you’re the tomato i was walking behind in park slope the other night! how funny, i never would’ve known about your project if i wasn’t a twop reader! congrats!

  • Leigh says:

    I work like a block from Rockefeller Center and I totally forgot to go look for you! Dammit!

    Oh well. Congrats on kicking Colbert’s ass.

  • MuffySinclair says:

    Sars! You’re the bestest Tomato ever. This is so very fabulous!

Leave a comment!

Please familiarize yourself with the Tomato Nation commenting policy before posting.
It is in the FAQ. Thanks, friend.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>