“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.
From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.
Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.
Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.
The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!
“Will Power Trip”:
Joe passive-aggressives that he thought “the whole point of giving up the big corporate job for the family business was” — he nods after the kids — “you know.” Well, yeah. Couldn’t have …
Dear Sars,
I’ve never done this type of thing, so I hope I can provide you with enough information to help me with my problem.
My wife and me have been married for two years. Most …
Weird little movie. James Hogue is a weird little guy, so that fits. Hogue is the dude who got taken out of a Princeton classroom in handcuffs back in ’91 for, basically, impersonating a sophomore (he was …
[about two weeks ago]
Eating lemon sorbet at my desk, straight from the pint with a serving spoon like the classy dame I am, I drop a nickel-sized blob of sorbet next to the keyboard. My …
Hi Sars,
It’s my apartment. I just moved into a new place, and decided I need to actually decorate this one, now that I’m sort of an official grown-up now at the grand age of 27.
Only …
Dear Mr. and Mrs. James Bunting,
How does that feel?
I am writing a business letter (probably my second ever) for work, and have been instructed to put the header as follows:
Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Anonymous
1455 ______ …
Dear sir,
The next time you find yourself wearing sunglasses indoors, ask yourself these questions:
1. Am I the leader of a cult?
2. Am I either John Munch or Bono?
3. Have I recently undergone surgery on my …
How about the “Father’s Day” music video from Guyz Nite?
Yes, that’s Mr. Stupidhead in the bear outfit. Obvi.
(Looking for the Die Hard vid? It’s here, with a new fourth verse, but is yippee ki …
Prospective Replacements For Bob Barker On The Price Is Right:
Bob Vila
PROS: Hiring another dude named Bob could ease the transition for announcer Burton Richardson; Vila’s home-renovation expertise is handy for contestants unsure of how …
When it comes to crying in public in New York City, you have two schools of thought: 1) that it’s terribly lonely and sad that nobody ever stops to ask after the cryer; and 2) …