Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

I’d Rather Be Lucky Than Good
August 8, 2005 · No Comment

An inauspicious beginning
It’s hot, again. Brutally hot, again. “Like living in the convection-current animation from the as-seen-on-TV food dehydrator commercial” hot. Aaaaaaa-gain. We went to an outdoor concert last night and drank too much beer; …

The Vine: August 5, 2005
August 5, 2005 · No Comment

Sars,
I just wanted to chime in, as I’m sure others will, about the last question in The Vine today. I can’t believe someone would assume that her dinner was paid for by the birthday girl! …

The Vine: August 4, 2005
August 4, 2005 · No Comment

Sars,
My boyfriend is a foreigner. That in itself is lovely. His accent and cultural insights are great and I know we’re together for the long haul. The problem is the nature of being foreign — …

The Vine: August 3, 2005
August 3, 2005 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
Love your site, love your advice. I’ve been reading The Vine for a few months now, and you and I seem to see eye-to-eye on many things. So, I’m hoping that you can help …

TNiB Notes
August 1, 2005 · One Comment

Well, it’s August, which, blech, but what August lacks in the tolerable-weather department, it makes up for in the compelling-baseball department, because now, it counts. Sure, every game counts, and I do get a little …

The Vine: July 27, 2005
July 27, 2005 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I’ll cut straight to the chase, I’m not sure if you can answer this question, maybe you can forward this email to Deborah: How does one convert to being a Muslim?
See, I’m a Muslim …

The Vine: July 26, 2005
July 26, 2005 · No Comment

Hi, Sarah:
The odor is caused when the bacteria on your skin gets onto your watch. The best way to solve the problem is to kill the little buggers. Do this by putting your watch in …

Avoidance
July 25, 2005 · No Comment
Avoidance

Instead of working, I would like to:
Paint the wall I’ve meant to paint since I moved in seven months ago, which is in a state of decorating indecision as a result, since why hang anything …

The Vine: July 22, 2005
July 22, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Okay, this is probably one of those letters where I already know what I need to do, I just need to hear someone else — not my husband — say it. So. I have …

The Vine: July 21, 2005
July 21, 2005 · No Comment

“Midwestern Summers” sounds like he/she has a rather common skin disorder called keratosis pilaris. It’s essentially how they’ve described it — the pores can’t clean out the dead skin cells fast enough, so you get …