Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: June 7, 2005
June 7, 2005 · No Comment

Sars —
This is for Nipple McMom.
I used to get naked on my naptime cot when I was about four years old.My mom is an early-childhood education expert, and even she had a hard time figuring …

Dear Retail Fashion Industry
June 6, 2005 · 4 Comments

Dear Retail Fashion Industry,
I want to stay together. I do. I want this relationship to work. It’s because I want it to work — and not merely out of laziness, as you may reasonably have …

The Vine: May 27, 2005
May 27, 2005 · No Comment

Some reading suggestions:
David Allen, Getting Things Done
Julie Morgenstern, Organizing from the Inside Out
Julie Morgenstern, Time Management from the Inside Out
Haven’t read her Making Work Work, but I’m sure it’s also good.
Julie gets a bit into …

The Vine: May 26, 2005
May 26, 2005 · No Comment

Hi. A friend tuned me into your site — awesome, if I may say so — after she got some great advice from you, and I was hoping you could do the same for me.
See, …

The Vine: May 25, 2005
May 25, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars and Dare,
Sars is completely right — there’s nothing wrong with
eating the rind. Camembert and Brie are known as a
“soft-ripened” or “bloomy rind” cheeses. Over the
aging process (or affinage), the rind naturally
grows all velvety …

The Vine: May 24, 2005
May 24, 2005 · No Comment

This story is about seventeen and a third days long, but I shall condense it.
Teenager. First boyfriend. First sex. STD pops up. I’m horrified and feel like, basically, a dirty filthy whore (and I know …

Empire State
May 23, 2005 · No Comment

The following essay is riddled with both Sith spoilers and process discussion, so if you want to avoid either, bail out now.
So, Revenge of the Sith. Where to begin, really.
The early eighties is as good …

The Vine: May 20, 2005
May 20, 2005 · No Comment

Hello, Sars:
First of all, thank you for making my days brighter with Tomato Nation.
Regarding the proper way to serve yourself and eat a portion of Brie: My mother always told me that it is …

The Vine: May 19, 2005
May 19, 2005 · No Comment

Hi Sars — so I find myself with the most ridiculous issue, and I’m
hoping you or your readers have been in the same place and will be
able to help me out.
The problem is …

The Vine: May 18, 2005
May 18, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
My problem isn’t so much
mine as that of a friend — I’ve run out of ideas on how to deal with
this alone and I decided that based on your level-headed advice, and
abilities as …