Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

A Rose By Any Other Name
January 12, 2004 · One Comment

“Any player, umpire, or club or league official or employee, who shall bet any sum whatsoever upon any baseball game in connection with which the bettor has a duty to perform shall be declared permanently …

The Vine: January 9, 2004
January 9, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars…
I love reading Tomato Nation and The Vine. I often have to explain why I’m just sitting in my office laughing! Great job!
I see that Glark is up as a vegetarian computer tech expert …

The Vine: January 8, 2004
January 8, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Glark,
I have been a vegetarian for about five years and I am
considering becoming a vegan. The only problem is
that I really love cheese. Can you recommend some
alternatives for me? Even if I don’t become …

The Vine: January 7, 2004
January 7, 2004 · No Comment

Glark,
I recently tried to install “Halo” on my PC, and was told the video card was not up to “minimum specs.” The minimum requirement is 32MB/3D T&L, I’m at 4MB currently. I have no working …

The Vine: January 6, 2004
January 6, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Glark,
This is a really basic question about the vegetarian lifestyle. What are some good cookbooks/websites for the busy vegetarian cook? I would like to incorporate more vegetarian cuisine into my lifestyle; however, it seems …

The Famous Ghost Monologues, No. 18: Lydia Sharp Jones
January 5, 2004 · No Comment

You stand behind a bar for forty years, you see a lot of lonely. You see a lot of stupid and bored, too, but that ain’t the same thing — ain’t no story behind those. …

The Vine: January 2, 2004
January 2, 2004 · No Comment

To the one and only Sars —My problem is simple. I wrote a lot in high school, mostly “my poor little
teenage heart is broke” poetry that makes most people ill. Hell, it makes me ill
reading …

The Vine: December 30, 2003
December 30, 2003 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I have a problem that could use some outside perspective, and as a smoker, I’m hoping you can help me see a side of the situation that I’m having a hard time seeing myself. …

Adventures In eBay
December 29, 2003 · One Comment

As a little kid, I used to watch Electric Company every day — PBS aired it in a block with Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers. I remember a lot of the skits and punchlines from …

The Vine: December 23, 2003
December 23, 2003 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I just read your Vine regarding “Terminally Gender Confused”, and I have a
book to recommend that might be of some help.I had a friend in college
that was MtF, and while I supported her, I …