Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: July 24, 2003
July 24, 2003 · No Comment

“A ‘tautology’ is a redundancy, not a logical lapse.”
Could you explain that more? I’ve always gotten by with the mathematical definition that a tautology is a statement that is always true. For example, “Sars will …

The Vine: July 23, 2003
July 23, 2003 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
In response to Curious and Unaffianced’s question about what happens to the ring when an engagement’s broken, I wanted to share my experience. My fiancé, Terrance, was engaged to another woman several years ago; …

The Vine: July 22, 2003
July 22, 2003 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Love the site, you rock, et cetera. I have a load of problems I probably should be writing to you about, but I digress. I’m just writing in response to Mrs. Sweetie’s letter. I …

The Famous Ghost Monologues, No. 8: Carol Ann “Ginger” Alford
July 22, 2003 · No Comment

I miss driving. If I could do one thing again, that’s what I’d do — I’d drive. No place in particular, just around like I used to do, up over Glacier Hill and down into …

Chippies On My Tail
July 20, 2003 · No Comment

Welcome to The CHiPs Drinking Game, which I have compiled for the simple reason that, if Tempus and I have to suffer, so do you. And besides, if you’re up at four in the morning …

The Vine: July 18, 2003
July 18, 2003 · No Comment

I really feel for the writer who dislikes the constant use of endearments from strangers. As a nurse I have to admit it is a plague within the profession and I hate it too. I …

The Vine: July 17, 2003
July 17, 2003 · No Comment

In response to “Maybe She’s A…’Tard”‘s letter, I can offer a little extra advice. As a writer who has never managed to complete his degree for similar reasons (though, rather than telling folks I couldn’t …

The Vine: July 16, 2003
July 16, 2003 · No Comment

After reading a letter from High School Heartache, I felt compelled to write and share with all those prematurely grown-up high schoolers some advice from the heart. I’ve been there. I’m smart, fairly good-looking, very …

The Vine: July 15, 2003
July 15, 2003 · No Comment

Please, please, Sars, point “Speechless” with the dad with the drinking problem to Al-Anon or Alateen. She needs community as much as the advice you gave her. Also if you could, please point her to …

Desk Set
July 14, 2003 · No Comment

Today’s entry concerns office supplies, and I had really hoped to find away to start it off other than a Seinfeldian query along the lines of “What is the deal with office supplies?” But…what is …