Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Facts
March 31, 2003 · One Comment

So, yes. The war. The…war.
Yes.
Okay.
I…okay. I need another Corona first. Okay, let me just…with the lime, here…okay. The war. I will now discuss the war.
I would prefer not to discuss the war.

The Vine: March 28, 2003
March 28, 2003 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I’m sending this to you because I’m caught in a frustrating situation. This
is going to be a long email and I apologize, but I’m hoping you can tell me
something besides, “That sucks, dude.”
My boyfriend, …

The Vine: March 27, 2003
March 27, 2003 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
About six weeks ago, my very elderly and very wonderful cat died. She had a
long and fairly happy life (18 years of it), even if the beginning wasn’t
too wonderful. She was an orphaned kitten …

The Vine: March 26, 2003
March 26, 2003 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
So…there’s this boy. We’ll call him “James.” And then
there’s his housemate, who shall henceforth be named
“Edward.” A while ago, Edward and I fooled around some;
this passed, and I started hanging out at James and
Edward’s …

The Vine: March 25, 2003
March 25, 2003 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
I’ve been dating my befriend for nine months, but I have actually known him for
two years. This past weekend I took him home with me to attend the wedding of
my best friend from high …

The Vine: March 21, 2003
March 21, 2003 · No Comment

Hey Sarah —
I just moved to a new town. My landlady is living upstairs from me,
and she seems very nice, if a bit odd. Anyway, there are two porches
on the house, upstairs and down. Hers …

The Vine: March 20, 2003
March 20, 2003 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
Love your site. Love the cat stories. I wish the Vine had been around when I was 15. This is not really a major issue, just one of those things that annoys me a …

The Vine: March 19, 2003
March 19, 2003 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I’m writing this letter because I need an objective viewpoint, and everyone I turn to is somehow involved in this. I’ll try to keep it as brief as possible, but it is a bit …

The Vine: March 18, 2003
March 18, 2003 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
In about a month, I’ll be going back to university, which is about a four-hour commute from the city I’m living in now. Campus residence is a lottery
for the privileged, so I’m moving into …

Unsolicited Advice
March 17, 2003 · One Comment

As you probably know, I write an advice column, in which I counsel petitioners on everything from the rules of English usage to break-up etiquette to whether gout is contagious (it isn’t). But over the …