“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.
From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.
Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.
Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.
The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!
Not-so-recently, a long and stormy relationship ended. The ending was not so bad, but the “let’s be friends” holdover was murder; my ex gave full play to all of the cold, manipulative, bitchy and self-indulgent …
So, I’ve been single since I was 18 years old. I’m now 25. Single’s not bad, but I’ve been alone also. My last date was two years ago (a disaster), and there have been no …
Okay, Sars, what would you do here?
Well over ten years ago, when I was finishing up college, I started seeing someone. We’ll call him “Dolt.” Dolt and I had a rocky relationship and an even …
Okay, Sars, I don’t know is this will make the Vine, but I’m at a loss and being that this problem involves one of my best friends, I can’t exactly go to her for advice …
Hi Sarah,
In recent weeks I discovered both Mighty Big TV and Tomato Nation, and, boy, has my productivity at work suffered as a result. Anyway, after perusing the archives of The Vine and nodding my …
I had no choice. I’d already tried running Scan Disk in Windows, running Scan Disk in DOS, running Scan Disk on an Amiga, defragging the drive, bellowing the word “NOT!” at the monitor in various …
Stomach: Psst. Hey. Hey, you guys. Psst. You guys, wake up.
Liver: [Mrfflle.]
Stomach: Hey, wake up, you guys!
Liver: Shhhh.
Stomach: You guys?
Lower Intestine: Shhhh!
Stomach: You guuuyyyys…I’m huuuuungry.
Kidneys: SHHHH! God!
Stomach: Well, it’s eleven-thirty, and —
Liver: Dude, shut up. …
A.I. doesn’t work. It can; it could. For reasons I can’t quite put my finger on, I very much wanted it to. But in the end, it just doesn’t. Why not?
Let’s look at the accusations …
Hey Sars:
First of all, the usual kudos for your very fine writing — I think I’ve laughed at or enjoyed everything I’ve ever read that you write — and that includes your editorial comments over …
Dearest Sars,
A friend recently decided to quit her job to be a freelance writer. I heard she was struggling a bit, so I offered her some work for my company. I wasn’t that desperate for …