Operation Find Don
I realized after a couple archive searches that this never made it over from the old site. Not sure how much good it will do now — my feeling at this point is that, if Don hasn’t been found yet, there may be no finding the guy — but I’m happy to be proven wrong. Although…it could be kind of awkward. (“So, you waited for eight years for me to show up.” “Uh huh.” “And so did some of your readers.” “Ehhhh-yep.” “That’s…quite odd.” “Yessir it is. Beer?” “Um.”) But the hell with it. Life is short, but not so short I can’t make time to thank a guy.
This year I’ve given myself a bit more time to find him, so do me a favor: pass it on. FB it, tweet it, whatever you got. It’s two presidential terms gone by now; we gotta find this dude.
OPERATION FIND DON
The latest news is that there is no news; if I hear anything, I will let you know, but I haven’t heard anything…and it’s starting to look like I won’t. I don’t think I would recognize Don if I saw him on the street, anymore; I doubt he would remember me, especially now that my hair is so different.
It’s also possible that Don does not in fact want to be found, or that he’s in the Yukon or something, but I’ve done the paid name/birthday searches and I’ve hoped that six degrees of separation would loop around, and I still haven’t turned him up.
Thanks again to everyone who’s mentioned it on sites they run or frequent, or to friends of theirs in the media, and to everyone who’s sent words of support. I appreciate it. If you hear anything, or you want to mention it on your blog, please feel free — you never know.
Don: A (Very Very) Brief History
Don is a man I met on September 11, 2001. Don and I became “disaster buddies,” and ever since, I’ve wanted to thank him for hanging out with me and helping me keep it together — but I haven’t seen or heard from him since we parted ways late that morning.
What Don Looks/Looked Like
Don is an African-American man. I would estimate his age at between 25 and 35 on that day — probably not younger than that; possibly older, but not much. That means he’s 30-ish to 40 now.
Don is between 5’9″ and 6′ tall, and probably weighed 160-180 pounds. (I suck at estimating men’s weights.) In any case, at that time Don had a fit build — not pudgy, not skinny, well put-together.
Don had short hair and a goatee at that time. I do not recall any jewelry; he may have worn a watch, I don’t remember. No glasses.
Don had on a grey windowpane-plaid suit and was carrying a black soft-sided briefcase.
Don didn’t really resemble anyone famous, except Blair Underwood around the eyes a little bit.
Other Possibly Relevant Facts
Don and I met in the lobby of the Bank of New York building, located roughly at Wall Street and Broadway. We left the bank together at approximately 11 that morning.
Don lived at that time in Jersey City, or thereabouts — he took the ferry to Jersey City to get home, from a slip somewhere around Hester Street on the west side.
Don had come into the city that morning via the PATH train, and had gotten off at the World Trade Center stop. He had come into the city for work, but I don’t remember whether his business that day was actually at the WTC complex; I don’t believe it was. If he had gotten separated from any work colleagues, he didn’t mention it. I don’t know what he did for a living, and I don’t know if his job was based in Jersey City or in lower Manhattan, but I got the impression that he was in the city for an errand or meeting, and that he didn’t regularly commute in.
As I said, I don’t recall a wedding ring; Don did not mention a wife or any other family at that time as far as I can remember.
Don’s birthday is September 11. No idea what year, but based on my estimate of his age it’s probably in the late sixties or seventies.
Why You Should Care
Because it’s a mystery, a puzzle, a story that needs an end. Because Don is everything good and friendly about the world. Because I owe him my thanks, and possibly a cold beer. Because it’s his birthday.
What You Can Do
Do you know anyone in Jersey City, or anyone who lives or works near there? Have you heard a story like mine — secondhand, thirdhand, on someone’s journal? Do you recall reading or hearing anywhere about people who ran for the Bank of New York, walked uptown a bit, and took a ferry to New Jersey? Post in the comments, or email me at sars at tomatonation dot com.
And if you are in fact Don? Well, don’t just sit there. Show yourself. My mom’s friend swears you were an angel and she’ll keep believing that shit until I can prove otherwise.
Suggestions? Clues? Conspiracy theories? Send ’em my way. I’ll add any new information as it comes in.
In short: Don. He’s still out there. And he’s another year older.
Tags: friends
On the off chance that La BellaDonna is right and Don is in Australia I just tweeted your post.
And if he is in Australia, you are welcome to crash on my coach Sars.
[public radio nerd]
I agree that “This American Life” is an idea. That’s one I’ve had, too. But go right to the show — that’s not an NPR show. It’s PRI.
[/public radio nerd]
Tweeted.
You’ll find him someday, Sars. <3
@ Nicki: So, what, the guy woke up every day thinking, “If there’s a major catastrophe today, I’ll find some woman and tell her its my birthday and walk around making her feel better and then disappear forever”?
I said this in a comment on this post two years ago, I see, but I’ve thought it since I first read Sars’ story way back in 2001. My money’s on the angel theory. I’m totally serious.
But just in case, I have a lot of journalist friends around the country, so I’m posting this to Facebook again.
He was an angel. Believe it or don’t. He was literally ‘born’ just for you. ON Sept 11, Sars.
I just posted this to my blog, and my Twin (who has a bit of third-eye ability, if you believe in that sort of thing) insists he was an angel as well.
I just get tingly all over whenever I read this story. Love it.
I was just thinking about Don the other day, hoping someday you’d find him.
I have a strong belief that in a place we don’t yet know, we will meet again all those people we want to thank, and we’ll have the chance to say what needs to be said. Whether they’re humans or angels.
I wonder if we can get this on the Today show or something. That would make for a nice anniversary story instead of a “remember how horrible it was? Let’s relive it!”
Just heard your interview on BBC Radio 4’s
Americana program. Hope it helps in your search,
Frank
What about the print media syndicated help columnists, like Dear Abby or Ask Amy? I’m sure I’ve seen letters there from people who were stranded, lost their wallet, whatever, and a good samaritan helped them, and they just want to say thanks. And every so often the good samaritan is found. Or as an electronic competitor of theirs (sort of), would this not work for you?
I don’t so much care that they’re “competitors”; it’s the lead time that’s not ideal.
What about submitting to Carolyn Hax’s live Friday chat? It’s a decently large audience and the live aspect does away with the lead time difficulties of Abby and Amy.
@Bria: I might try that; good tip, thanks.
(got my fingers crossed!!!)
[…] Bunting is searching for the stranger, Don, who she befriended in Manhattan on September 11, 2001 as they attempted to get out of […]
Each and every year I come here on this day, hoping you’ll have posted that you’ve found him. A lot of us do that, I believe.
What about The Story on American Public Media out of North Carolina?
That would be a really great place for this to be told!
http://www.thestory.org
Good luck! xo
Echoing Jaybird…..
In some way, your story about Don has become a yearly ritual.
The events of 9/11 eventually led to my diagnosis of PTSD that I had been experiencing since I was young, when my father (Don was his name too.) died in a plane crash. So in some way, your experiences and the sharing of them, have become really symbolic for me.
Just like Jaybird, I too come here every year hoping you or someone has found Don. Best wishes to you and happy birthday to Don, wherever he is.
The story is up on Digg, if people go there and Digg it, it will rise up the list and get more visibility.
Just dropping by to echo Jaybird. I come here every year on 9/11 hoping that you’ve found Don. Reading the story of your day on 9/12/01 continues to resonate with me through the years. Thank you for sharing so much with all of us.
Tweeted, FB, and Dugg. I’m seriously thinking Angel.
I don’t know if someone already suggested this, but there is a new show called “The Locator,” which is supposed to help find people. I think it would be a great story, and a way to get more help in the situation. I haven’t seen it, but it seems like this would fit.
Can someone post a link to the story on Digg?
For what it’s worth, though we don’t know each other and I’m in Canada I posted your latest OFD message to my Facebook as a note with a little explanatory lead-in as to what this is all about. I am somewhat doubtful it will turn anything up but I do have plenty of friends in Ontario who have friends in Buffalo who might know people in Jersey or New York. So I guess you never know, the six degrees of separation theory might kick in to play. I’ve enjoyed your blog for years now and I truly hope some day (soon) you find him so you can say that thank you and buy him that cold beer. Like at least one other commenter has mentioned, I re-read your original post about Don every year.
Posted on my Facebook.
I posted this story yesterday on plime.com as well as on Facebook. I hope you find him. It sounds like he was truly your Guardian Angel that day.
I met my guardian angel one wintry day when I flipped my Jeep on an icy country road. He came and got me out of my seatbelt (I was upside down) and helped me out of the car. He was gone that fast without a word. I think Don was there for you to made sure you made it out safely on that hellish day. You were so lucky to have that encounter!
I mentioned it to gothamist.com and they did a little piece on you. Hope it helps. http://gothamist.com/2009/09/11/disaster_buddies.php
Thanks, @mswas!
Hey Sarah:
I love your story and would lvoe for you to find Don. I have to say though, that I have read and heard this story a few times and never seen your face. memories fade quickly and it might help to show your face so that Don might recognize you!
Have you tried that?
link to digg http://digg.com/d314K6X
hey, have you checked out the SF bay area? I know a man named Don there and he fits your descriptions. Do you know if he plays sports? if he likes sports? Even though I live in Illinois I still pass by SF 2x a year. I’ll contact you soon.
No idea if he likes sports — but ask him if he’s the guy. Thanks!
did you see Don Fitzpatrick in “I, New York” in Time Out New York for week of Feb 4-10? My sense is he’s too old to be your Don, but hell, he’s an African-American man named Don in New York–you should take a look.
Way to keep looking out, C; thank you. Alas: not him. A bit too old, and too light-complexioned.
I reposted your original account of the story, as well as Find Don on Facebook. Every year, your account of the tragedy is the one I think of and read.
Nicki: Personally, I’d like to meet any man who could get caught up in soething like 9/11 and still keep his cool enough/be mental enough to lie about everything.
I’m a regular visitor to TN, but I’m always hoping you will find Don.
damn! I came to check, hoping, still. I’m going to post this again.
Every year, I re-read “For Thou Are With Us,” and then this “Operation Find Don” post, hoping, someday, you and Don will have that beer.
Sarah, your 9/11 account never fails to move me. You’re one of the people I always think about, on this day.
I check every year too, always hopeful….
What Cindy said. (Side note: I’ve worked for a couple of large entities with massive databases, and I’ve searched every one of them for Don at various times, using the wild-card option in case he’s Donald or Donovan. No luck. I’ll bet lots of other TN readers have tried similar things.)
Just came by to see if you ever found Don. I, also, read this each year and hope. I hope you’ll let us know if/when you do find him!
I think of you every year. Have you found Don? Any news? In those dark days of 9/11, yours was the first story I read that put it back in perspective and reminded me that there was still good in this world, that people still cared for each other and looked out for strangers.
If you haven’t yet found Don, know plenty of people still think of him and look for him. I hope you’ll allow us to continue raising another glass to the sky in tribute to him and the other disaster buddies out there.
Checking in, as I do every year… Just… because.
Checking in, and sorry to see there’s no news.
Having just read the story of the woman who found the owner of a wedding photo she found in the aftermath of 9/11 after 13 years of searching, I wondered if you had thought about getting this onto Reddit. When her tweet got posted there, the signal boost did what was necessary to get the story out.
I’m always hopeful that you will find Don and be able to share that beer with him.
The internet keeps inventing ways of being between then and now, so maybe that would work. Feel free to get the ball rolling!
This is still an annual read for me, and even more important as the incident itself becomes more distant. As a native NYer (and fellow Brooklynite) I always felt this captured that day exactly as it was.