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Home » Stories, True and Otherwise

So…there’s this cat.

Submitted by on October 19, 2008 – 3:41 PM83 Comments

No, not that cat.   Or that other fat cat.

This cat, to the right here.

Some [epithet] left this cat in a carrier on 9th Street in Park Slope on Friday and didn’t come back for him.   Because I apparently don’t have enough drama in my life, I took him to the Park Slope Veterinary Clinic and got him checked out, and he’s okay; he’s got a thyroid issue, so he needs half a pill twice a day, but no mites or FIV or anything communicable (Dr. Parker said he had a slightly elevated white count, but thinks that’s from stress).

What he doesn’t have is teeth — and I mean no teeth at all — but he eats like a champ and uses his litter box.   He’s a good boy.

I’m calling him Nikolai (…don’t ask), and he’s really very friendly and sweet.   He’s staying in a rehearsal space at the moment, and he’s okay with it, but he’s…you know.     Bored.   He’s probably 10 or 12 years old, but except for the thyroid issue, he’s in fine shape and would make someone a wonderful fuzzy pet.

Anyone?   Orange cat?   Eight pounds of toothless love?

If this actually is already your cat, please email me ASAP.   I would love to hear all about the TERRIBLE MIX-UP that caused you to leave your FAMILY MEMBER on the street IN A BOX.   And if you did it on purpose, you’d better pray to every god there is that I never find out who you are, because I will beat your ass with a flaming beehive, you irresponsible, soulless piece of shit who owes me $300 in bloodwork fees.

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83 Comments »

  • Mr. Stupidhead says:

    Having met Nikolai, I can honestly say he is a total sweetheart and deserves a good home. Poor little fella. Sars, you know I’ve got your back with the owner if we ever find him/her. Weak sauce.

  • Andrea says:

    That’s terrible. This past February, my next door neighbors moved out and left their 2 month old pitt mix puppy on their screened-in porch. It only took my roommate and I a day or so to realize it and then we were incredibly pissed. It was so cold and the puppy was so little and skinny. I still can’t fathom why someone would do something like that. We left a report on them and made sure the poor puppy got a home.

    I lost one of my two (indoor) cats 6 weeks ago and while I papered the surrounding streets with flyers, knocked on all the doors within a two block radius, put ads in the paper and left a report with the humane society, she has not turned up. I’m sure someone took her into their house and kept her, as she is sweet and really pretty, but I can’t imagine finding a cat that was obviously not a stray and not attempting to find its home. It’s awesome that you are being so good to this poor cat.

  • Angela says:

    I kind of want him but I expect NH isn’t in your daily rounds. We already have Molly the One Tooth Wonder so he would fit right in. :)

  • Bethany says:

    I have an orange kitty that I adopted who unfortunately has FIV, or I would take this poor kitty too.

    The other night I was watching the news and a story came on about a couple who left their puppies on the deck one evening, and someone came up onto their deck and brutally beat the dogs with a 2×4. I said I would murder the people who did that with my bare hands, and my father-in-law’s girlfriend LAUGHED AT ME. So solidarity, sister, in agreeing that I would help you beat their ass with a flaming beehive. It’s wonderful to find other people who feel the same way I do about animals and those who would hurt them.

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    @Margle: Dr. Parker pried his mouth open to check his teeth, and…none to check. Well, one teeny incisor. So, if Nikolai lives with us, that would bring the “orange-cat tooth” total to…three. (Aw, Hobe.)

    @Jules: It’s entirely possible that Joe will love him…and that Hobe will just try valiantly to ignore him, which has been his (failed) plan with Joe for the last eight years. My worries are that 1) Niko is half the size of the others and may get his ass kicked, and 2) 3 cats + 1 tiny bathroom with no windows = stinky.

    I’ll post an update shortly.

  • Holly says:

    I adopted a couple of kittens a few years back that had, it turned out, something wrong with their immune systems (not feline leukemia or anything contagious, just crappy immune systems). Lost the girl at a year and a half. Lost the boy at 3 years. But when he was about 2 1/2 he had his second really bad all over the mouth gum infection, and the vet said he was going to perenially have them and one of the possible suggestions was to pull all his teeth.

    It turns out that indoor cats don’t need teeth to eat cat food (they just smash it between tongue and palate and toss it back. I didn’t pull his teeth, and the next infection that killed him was something else.

    My two tabbies would never forgive me bringing in another (nor would the homeowners association), even though the kids would sing happy songs. So I’ll head over to Donor’s Choose for another payment on the “somebody should do something” front. Thanks for doing this…and well, everything you do Sars.

  • Suzanne says:

    My own felines, Pamina and her (evil) mother, the Queen of the Night, will have no further additions, sadly.

    I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you … and …

    … for that matter, you have a sparkly constellation of readers spread across the world. If someone wants Nikolai, and he/she is in another state, maybe those of us in between could set up the Great Nikolai Relay of 2008!

    I could drive across a chunk of PA. :) Or would that stress out the poor dear too much? :/

  • Jen M. says:

    First: flaming beehives are too good for these assholes, but a good threat.
    I’m storing it for future use.

    Second: “Little Joe’s long lost Russian uncle,” that is hilarious.

    I’ll add my voice to the chorus of “I wish I could take him, but my cats would beat him up.” Poor little guy.

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    @Suzanne: I’m going to a wedding in Cincy this weekend. I can get him that far, or to any point in between there and the 718. If someone can bring the love, I can bring the thyroid pills.

  • Amy says:

    You rock, Sars.

    Add me to the list of folks who are too far away, with too many cats.

  • Kim says:

    You are a good soul and many good things will come your way. We just adopted two rescue kittens this summer, but I will pass this on to friends and family.

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    @Melewen: Please email me. I will cheerfully transport him if you can take him in.

    Thanks so much to everyone who’s donated to the Challenge on behalf of Nikolai. I’m loving seeing those comments scroll past in the widget.

  • Heather says:

    Oh, that poor, gorgeous little chap :( Were I not in London and already “owned” by another little cat who fell on hard times… This one was dumped at a friend’s parents’ place about six months ago, complete with renal failure, liver damage and hyperthyroid. The idea of someone dumping her just as she needed them most makes me sick. I hope that’s not what’s happened in Nikolai’s case.

    I’d just about fly over to the States to join in the flaming beehive application – although I’d hope no bees would be harmed in the process. Alternatively, I am a vet’s daughter – if it’s a bloke, I could *probably* castrate him so he didn’t bleed to death…

  • Margaret in CO says:

    “Anyway, my mantra that day became “If not me, who? If not now, when?”
    Me too, Serendipity. I believe it’s precisely because of this oath that so many animals cross my path! The universe knows we’ll do the right thing.

    I can be no help other than to send good juju for Sars & Nikolai…I have a houseful already, I’m at my city limit.
    He looks like the sweetest guy! Good luck!!!!

  • sK says:

    oh, the toothless kitties! i have such a soft spot. the boy had one way back when with ONE tooth. so f’in cute. he gummed all his food like crazy. wish i could take him, but our two boys keep us in the poor house already.

    Sars, there’s a place somewhere really good for people like you (and so so bad for his former peeps).

  • Veronica B. says:

    @robin – I’m 2.5 hours north of you deep in the Adirondacks. Send the Upstate NY batsignal and I’ll come down with my two black belts and my vet boyfriend with two second-degree blackbelts and we can “educate” the owner on proper cat care.

    @Heather – I’ve assisted said boyfriend in neuter surgery many times. The two of us could probably figure it out if we put our heads together. If not, I could think of worse losses to humanity.

    (Gee, can you tell I’ve volunteered in animal shelters for almost ten years and am just a *little* angry?)

  • RidingTeach says:

    Aw, Sars, you are made of win! I’m only in MA & would take him in a heartbeat to make up a matched set for my mom (her guy BeBe could be his long-lost twin), but we have just acquired not one, not 2, but 6 new cats, so no room at the inn for now. Some local asshat decided that a stable would be the perfect new home for a tiny, skinny mom & her 5 KITTENS. Who is now so scared she won’t let us catch her or them. (wow–gramatically, that’s just…bad. Sorry!) It’s killing us–know how cold it is out there at night? We’ve decided the place (& budget) can stretch enough for Anky (name selected by dressage-based “barn rat” kid), but we’ve got to rehome the kittens. Sigh.

  • Leila says:

    I would LOVE to take the cat. I live in Crown Heights and am currently cat-free. Let me know if he’s still available. Orange cats are the sweetest!

  • JenK says:

    What the…? What was this asshole thinking? Did he think that leaving that cat in a box with no food or water was kinder than leaving the cat on its own? Because…dehydration is no biggie? What an asshole.

    I’d love to take that beautiful boy (as would my toddler, who doesn’t say Momma Dadda but does say KeeKee for kitty), but I’m on the other side of the coat and I have 5 cats already–4 of them strays (one of them a big fat orange guy named Socrates). Hubby and I are suckers for strays, and we, too, have a similar mindset to Serendipity. After we already had the five, I was going to ask my husband to let me take in a 6th as a Christmas present (even though we were only supposed to have 2). He was this big, fluffy tiger with an abrasive meow, a beautiful purr, and half an ear missing who we named Evander. But the week before Christmas we saw his poor little body in the street in front of our apartment building, and I just hated myself for not doing something for him when I first thought of it. Six years later, I still tear up thinking about poor old Evander.

    Kudos to you, Sars, for looking out for a kitty who couldn’t look out for himself.

  • BHL says:

    I have five kitties all of whom I obtained from the no-kill shelter as foster kitties.

    I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve wanted to beat the shit out of people for their callous, clueless, evil behaviour. I’ve noticed that if they’ll treat their animals this way, their kids are getting it 10 times worse.

    All I can do from up here in Canuckistan is send *mojo* for Nikolai and whoever his new stable, forever home turns out to be.

    -the house in which the carpet crunches pretty much all the time.

  • Jackie says:

    I’d say “poor little guy,” but look at how very, very lucky he was to come into the awesome orbit of Sarah D. Bunting. I’m in San Diego with two dogs (both of whom can’t figure out why I’m hugging the daylights out of them, but are thrilled with the extra Snausages) and my severely cat-allergic husband, but will forward your post to any and all in the NY/NJ area. As a strong believer in Karma, I’d say Sars has great things coming to her. And anyone shitty enough to abandon their pet had better look out.

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    @Leila: I just emailed you. Niko is now in my bathroom.

    (Hobey: loafing on the couch, clueless. Little Joe: frightened of no longer being “the baby,” hiding under bed.)

  • ES says:

    Another perspective from someone who rescued an amazing toothless grampa cat (who also got a Russian name, heh) and loved him best of all (don’t tell the other cats!)…

    It sounds like Nikolai was dumped in a very public place and in a protective carrier. Soulless monsters don’t leave their cats in their carriers; they dump their cats in some out-of-the-way place where they can get torn apart by dogs or run over by a car, and sell the carrier. Nik was not unloved.

    Whoever dropped this cat off couldn’t keep it and couldn’t care for it. Abandoned animals are epidemic in my city because of the foreclosure crisis. These are not unwanted pets; these are pets who belong to people who have to go to homeless shelters, hotels, or apartments with no-pet policies. I suspect that Nikolai’s owner couldn’t or wouldn’t put him in a shelter (old and sick animals get shortlisted for euthanasia — even “no kill” shelters may euthanize infirm cats) and instead engaged in a bit of magical thinking — that Nik’s fairy godmother would appear and turn his carrier into a carriage. Or something.

    The point is…times are HARD out there. Someone gave up his best friend. I know it’s unimaginable to us multiple cat-fallback plan types, but possibly Nikolai’s owner could use more sympathy and fewer beehives; he did wrong by Nikolai but he could have done worse.

  • Jason says:

    that is so sad–people are without excuse for doing something like that. however i will say kudos on the last bit-o-rant. you encapsulated the gut reaction of animal lovers everyehere.

    cheer,
    jason

  • Lib says:

    Awww, Sars! I got my lovable squeaky cat from the local humane society, and I don’t regret it a bit (even when he pees on the floor for no good reason) and could never give him up.

    When I was growing up, my mom found a box of KITTENS who hadn’t even been weaned(!!!) on the side of the road. There’s a special place in hell for those people. Mom took them home of course, where we gave 2 away to good homes and the other two…well, they had interesting lives, but it’s too much to go into here. Heh. (Note to the world: just because you’re way out in the sticks doesn’t mean you can dump animals without someone noticing.)

    Good luck finding a home for the sweetie!

  • Tina says:

    Good for you. I find it boggling how people can be so irresponsible, stupid, or downright malicious. My orange tabby is the love of my life. He wasn’t left in a carrier on the road, he was left in a box. At 9 months old I guess he wasn’t ‘cute kitten’ enough and somebody stopped feeding him and just left him like litter. That was not a cat pun…on purpose. He was in pretty rough shape and it took the shelter a year to nurse him well enough that he could be adopted. After 3 years together he still doesn’t purr, he won’t let people snuggle him, and he’s not socialized with other animals…but he’s a GOOD CAT. He follows me around, we sit on the couch and watch Corrie Street together, he always comes when I call him and he really WANTS to be a good cat – just doesn’t know how.

    Anyway, good on ya again. I wish there were more people like you out there, and fewer people who would abandon lovable orange tabbies.

  • Jennifer says:

    Nikolai looks like Tigger, the similarly abandoned cat my relatives took in a long time ago. Tigger had a long and healthy life, so yay there.

  • Kelly says:

    Aw! I’m in Seattle, and if I could afford a ticket for that sweet toothless boy, I’d fly his furry behind out here ASAP.

    I got my Tobycat because some douchenozzle abandoned him when they moved out of their apartment. The girl who took him in already had two cats in a tiny apartment, and I have the bitchiest girl kitty ever, but when I saw the CL posting it was love at first sight. When I met him, he came up to me and hissed and the girl was all “he likes you, he hid on everyone else.” He is the biggest sweetheart ever. I hope whoever abandoned him rots in hell.

    Cheers to you for taking Nikolai and trying to find him a home.

  • Sarah says:

    Kitty! How much do we hate people? My sister’s cat is an adoptee. I was living in an apartment complex where a neighbor had too many cats and moved, leaving this poor skinny grey one behind. I borrowed a trap to catch it (from the good cat loving people of Planned Parenthood of all places), and moved her into my family, where she stayed until last fall, when she moved to Brooklyn to become my sister’s kitty. She’s a little fatty now, and has completely come out of her shell! Let’s hear it for rescuing kitties left behind by a**holes.

  • Pope Lizbet says:

    I’ve already seen that Nikolai has found a home. On behalf of my orange tabby cat who walked out of the woods and into my life eight years ago, Sars, thank you.

    Whoever dumped my sweet baby, or someone that found her after, tied a firecracker to her damn tail. WHY HUMANS WHY DO YOU MAKE ME NEED TO KILL YOU.

  • smmoe1997 says:

    Good for you Sars! People who abandon animals when there are other options are some of the world’s biggest jerks!!

    My kitty Guen had a thyroid problem 3 years ago, which my vet detected after she developed a heart murmur! Well, 3 years later and a couple of thousand dollars later she is fat sassy and completely healthy, the heart murmur cleared up once the thyroid problem was under control (and then fixed by the wonderful vets at Mizzou’s Vet Hospital). I borrowed the money from my parents to pay for the thyroid radiation because a world without my cat is just not a world I want to contemplate.

    I know pilling a cat is difficult, but the results are totally worth it. And no teeth should make it a little easier, and if Nikolai likes treats, the pill pockets really do work. Unfortunately Guen turns her nose up at any treat that isn’t Cat Sip.

  • Sarah says:

    Like so many of your cat loves, that touched a chord with me. Our two dogs at my parent’s house were both rescues – one we literally found in a ditch by the road, and the other was an unwanted pup that was kept in a car boot (maybe you call that the trunk?). When I left home I turned into a cat lover overnight when a friend’s mother found a lost kitty she couldn’t keep with her own cat, and my own big monster was sitting under a parked car when I saw his blind eye and just couldn’t leave him there.

    As everybody who has ever adopted an older animal will know, things are not always easy at the beginning. Pirata was very nervous for about a year, but now he actually CHOOSES to come and headbutt us on the couch.

    This is maybe a conincidence, but even so it’s something I’d like to share with all your cat lovers out there. I had written a short paragraph sympathising with people who maybe give animls up for financial reasons. Then my first cat, Dinah, came to me for an extended cuddle. I held us in my arms, rubbed her head, and she rubbed her face against mine and purring all the while. Until she got tired of it, and promptly bit me hard on my arm. Oh, the joy of the tempermental cat. If I didn’t love them both so much, I’d nearly think I was better off with dogs.

  • Spork T. Cat says:

    I know this is an old post but I just wanted to say that I’m glad to see Nikolai has been adopted. It always infuriates me to see animals abandoned or abused. All of my cats have been adopted. My cat, Isis, was found by the back of the store I work at. Who ever dumped her was “nice” enough to leave a bowl of food and water for her. She was so frightened when we found her and we had a very hard time catching her. But by the time I got her home she was purring and rubbing up against me. Why anyone thinks abandoning their pets is ok is beyond me.

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