The Vine: August 2, 2000
Dear Sarah,I love to dance, and I am a good dancer. I like going to see bands that I can dance to, and I generally have a great time. The problem is my husband. He is the world’s WORST dancer, but he thinks he’s pretty good and he likes to dance. I hate dancing with him. It’s torture. I am not kidding. I feel really bad and bitchy, but I don’t like to dance with him. My friends all like him, but they concur…he’s BAD on the dance floor. People that I don’t know have (a few times) caught my eye and given me “the raised eyebrows” when they watch him.
We’ve been married for ten months now, and this is my dilemma: I’ve pretty much given up going out dancing because it just causes problems, but a really fun band is coming to our city and I want to go with some guy friends that are fun to dance with. I don’t want to lie and NOT
tell him where I am going and what I am doing…but I also don’t want him to come along. I’ve made mention in the past that we aren’t good dancing together, but he gets kind of pissed when I say that and says that “each person dances to their own beat.”
I love him so much, he is a great guy and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. What would you do?
By the way, we have already taken dance lessons (prior to our wedding dance), to no avail. Even the instructor commented about his lack of rhythm.
Ginger R.
Dear Ginger,
Suck it up and bring him with you. You’ve talked to your husband about the dancing, so he knows how you feel about it; apparently, it doesn’t bother him, so don’t let it bother you. Go, have a good time, ignore anyone who gives your hub strange looks, and spend some time dancing with your other friends and on your own.
If you lie about going to the show, or you otherwise blow him off, you’ll hurt his feelings and turn the dancing thing into a way bigger issue than you should, and it’s not worth it. I can imagine the Elaine Benes-style dance moves get annoying, but really, he’s not hurting anyone. Avert your eyes and let him do his thing.
Tags: boys (and girls) etiquette
