The Vine: February 22, 2008
Dear Sars,
Quick question for you: My mom has always said you don’t tip the owner of a hair salon if he or she cuts your hair. This does make sense to me because they often charge more and because the house doesn’t take a cut (ha) of their work profits. But, as someone who spent years in food service, it also kind of rubs me the wrong way. What’s the right thing to do?
Thanks,
Can I Use My Signature To Plug Locks Of Love?
Dear I Don’t See Why Not,
I never know what to do in that situation either. I go to the salon right downstairs, and sometimes the owner gives me the cut, and I never know what to do — not tipping her seems wrong, but then tipping her seems kind of insulting. She refused it the last time, but that was on a trim that took five minutes, so it didn’t shed much light on the situation.
Readers, what’s your understanding of the protocol here? (I know one reader in particular has some insight and I’m hoping she weighs in.)
Tags: Ask The Readers etiquette health and beauty
You can always go with the Dwight Shrute method of only tipping people who do things you can’t do yourself.
I have had more than one salon owner refuse a tip and explain that tipping the owner of the establishment just isn’t done.
I work in a salon/spa. When the owner takes clients (not very frequently), she does not accept tips. The desk is directed to let the client know if and when they try to tip her (most of our clients tip at the desk) that she doesn’t. My best advice is to ask the front desk (or the owner herself if there isn’t a desk staff). It may feel awkward asking about tips, but trust me, they answer those questions a million times a day, and no one will think less of you for trying to figure out the correct etiquette. So, short version- owners usually don’t take tips, when in doubt, just ask.
Officially, it’s inappropriate to tip the owner, as they get a certain percentage of what their employees bring in, or their employees pay them a monthly chair rental fee. So it’s not a gaffe to not tip them. (I’m working on the coveted triple negative here, but I can’t quite make it.) However, I only worked with one owner who didn’t accept tips. He also wouldn’t let us accept them, until there was a revolt.
So it’s not an insult to tip the owner. S/he can make the decision about accepting it.
Hey, thanks for the plug to Locks of Love…I’ve donated 36 inches so far!
(What got me was the fact that “Most donations come from other children.”Awwwww…..)
Also? My hair has never grown back faster than when I donated the ponytail…17 inches in two years! And NO split ends! Isn’t that karma-cool? I’ll do it again as soon as it’s long enough!
I take all my rules for living from the Gilmore Girls, as naturally one would. In one episode Lorelai goes off on talking about how she’s been tipping Luke (owner of Luke’s Diner) for so many years and recently learned that one is not supposed to tip the owner of an establishment. So there’s that.
I’ve also donated twice now to Locks of Love. There’s always someone out there who’s going to get more joy out of my hair than I do. I had to take a break though. I was starting to feel like I was farming.
Every time I’ve had my hair “done” at a professional salon, it seems like I have had the owner be my stylist. I’ve tipped everyone of them, through the front desk or directly, and never once had someone tell me it’s wrong.
Then again, it’s entirely possible that I am a complete and utter rube.
My hairdresser has a salon in the basement of her house, so she’s the owner. She accepts tips because I insist (she’s a friend) but says that in that business, owners officially don’t get tipped.
I completely identify with “I don’t see why not,” as I also spent 15 years in a tipped profession but my mother always said one doesn’t tip an owner. It is difficult for me not to tip, so I ignore my mother (in this, as in so many other things).
But I learned a useful piece of advice when I was a bartender: if someone wants to give you money, take it. So if you want to leave a tip, I say offer it. If the owner wants to refuse it, it’s up to him/her, but I think it would be nice if said owner took it and used it to buy coffee or cookies or something nice for the tipped employees. That way, everyone is happy.
I get my haircut by the owner of the salon. I have curly hair and have spent years trying to find someone who could cut it right (so that it’s not a big ball of frizz, or worse…). I tip the hell out of her each and every time because she has made my hair look better than it’s ever looked. My curls respond, fall in a nice manner, etc…I would have given my left arm to have found her years ago!
We too are Locks of Love donors. My daughter donated 27 inches, I donated 17. And two years later I donated another 13 inches.
Hm, I never knew you weren’t supposed to tip the Salon owner. I’ve been going to the same Salon for 15 years. Originally my hair was cut by one of the stylists, and when he moved (to New York – I live in Minnesota, so I couldn’t possibly follow him, and I was extremely upset about that at the time), the owner of the Salon started cutting my hair. I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to tip him, so I continued to add tips to my total. That was about 6 years ago, and I still tip him. He (and the front desk person) have never told me I shouldn’t be tipping.
My current stylist is an owner but the sole stylist. She accepts them, but in the past I did have an owner say she won’t.
My practice is to leave it up to the stylist/owner (or bartender/owner, waiter/owner). The rudeness does not lie with the tipper but the tippee in that situation (tipee works, right?). If they feel it’s rude, they can give me my money back. I prefer that over them thinking I’m a cheap jerk.
I always just ask. “Do you accept tips?” is perfectly acceptable and fairly non-awkward, and asking at the reception desk (if applicable) is even easier. When I worked at a salon in college, we got that question all the time. In that case, the owner DID accept tips (he had a partner who did not cut hair, so the tips differentiated between him and his partner as joint owners, and services provided by him as a stylist).
I also think it’s nice to ask even if you are sure they won’t accept it, because it lets them know that you were happy with your service.
My hairdresser is co-owner of the salon along with two other guys. He has never told me not to tip, so I regularly gave him a 20% tip. One time I was complaining to my friend how expensive it was to get highlights, haircut, and tip 20% on top of it all (about $150), and she told me, “Oh, I never tip him more than 10% since he’s one of the owners.” So, since then, I’ve been tipping 10%, but I still feel odd about it.
I hate to be such a party-pooper, but y’all are aware that much of the hair donated to Locks of Love is sold to commercial wigmakers, and that children with cancer often don’t receive hair from Locks of Love, because their hair loss is considered short-term?
Locks of Love still does good things — the money made from the sale of hair is used both to fund the charity and to offset costs of wigs for children with long-term hair loss. But I know that lots of people get upset when they realize that their own hair may not be going to kids, and that people typically imagine the hair going to children with cancer. I just think people should be informed about where their donations go, and lots of people are misled about how Locks of Love works.
Wikipedia: Locks of Love Criticisms
Yup, that’s true and not just in salons, but in restaurants, etc as well. It’s a nice thing to do but not required.
I’m with EB – I never know the appropriate etiquette either, but I think it’s better to err on the side of caution by trying to tip someone who does not accept tips than it is to accidentally stiff someone who does. I suppose there are exceptions to this, but I don’t think anybody will think you are rude for offering a tip – after all, it’s a compliment to their service. I do know one salon owner who accepts tips but distributes them equally to the other staff members, and another who just puts them towards the coffee and doughnuts fund. If the owner does not accept tips, they can always decline, and I really don’t think that most salon owners would consider that some major insult to their status. I may be kind of an over-tipper, but I would rather tip someone whom I didn’t have to tip than NOT tip someone who deserved it.
My mom is the “owner” of a salon, in the sense that she rents out a store front, and rents the back room to a nail tech, and from time to time, another stylist. She doesn’t get a cut of their merchandise or fees. Before that, she’d rent a chair in a salon – she actually ended up just getting her own place after the owner started wanting a cut of her merchandise.
She’ll be the first one to tell you that tips put me and my sister through college.
I’m a complete over-tipper and am never concerned about whether the tippee is the owner or not. I have read/heard so many times that young women are notoriously poor tippers, I just want to do my part to undo that stereotype. (And I’ve been doing it for so long I’m not sure whether I can call myself a young woman anymore.)
As to Karen’s comment about locks of love: I lost my first child to cancer – she was three at the time. She was never concerned about a wig, nor were any of the kids on the cancer wing for the entire 10 months that we pretty much lived there. Young kids don’t know the difference. Older kids like teens are pretty happy with a cool hat (if you like to knit, knit cool hats out of soft fibers in kids sizes and donate them to your nearest Children’s Hospital. They will love you!)
But for occasions like a prom or maybe even reentering school, a kid will want a wig. I think donating your hair is a very nice, caring thing to do.
If LoL wants to sell my hair to fund the process of the work they do, it’s fine with me! It’s not like I had plans for those ponytails!
I just asked a friend who owns a salon & she does what Karen suggested – they all go to lunch once or twice a month, with her tip money. She’s cool.
I was taught not to tip the owner. I never tip my stylist (she is the owner of the salon). Tipping an owner could be interpreted as a backhanded compliment: you’re complimenting the services of someone who, as a businessperson, is too high in the social hierarchy to accept tips, and what are you trying to do, imply you’re better than them…which is kind of old-timey, but then, so is etiquette.
I always purchase an overpriced bottle or two of products when I visit the salon. It’s my way of tipping without tipping.
I just tip everyone. Even when they’re the owner, I just go for it. If they don’t accept tips, great, more money for you. If they do, they’ll appreciate the extra money.
I also come down on the you-don’t-tip-the-owner side.
Also, RB, so sorry for the loss of your kid, that’s terrible. However, Locks of Love generally makes wigs for kids with alopecia areata, a congenital disorder that prevents hair growth. While they do make wigs for any financially disadvantaged kid under the age of 18 with medical hair loss, it’s usually NOT for hair loss from chemo (which is generally temporary.) With AA, you’re bald forever. Which sucks if you’re a 15 year old girl…
Just an FYI.
This is why I get my hair cut maybe once a year… I wouldn’t even know whether or not the stylist cutting my hair was the owner, so tipping would always be standard to me.
Yup, I suddenly and all too clearly recall being refused on several counts by my hairdresser when I started using the owner at my favorite salon. I was actually insulted. Like he was doing so many more intricate hair jobs than my wash-and-trim that he didn’t need my handful of dollars. Or whatever. I don’t know. I THINK and I may be remembering this wrong… but I THINK one time I came back because I needed something fixed and then INSISTED he take my tip because he squeezed me in, and then I tipped from then on. (It’s hard to remember exactly because he left the salon shortly after all of this.) I think he knew I was kind of insulted… I suppose, looking back, that was the wrong reaction.
One of my best friends in high school was a girl whose mom was the owner of a salon. I learned from her that you do not tip the owner, otherwise trust me, I would never have had a clue. I am sure that different situations dictate different tipping circumstances, but that is the general rule. As someone mentioned above the owner gets a percentage of his/her stylist’s earnings.
Per Emily post, you don’t tip the owner. However, I have found that lots of owners don’t know that, so I’d say, when in Rome… I went to a nail salon for nine years, always had the owner, never tipped her, then learned she was mad about it! So, I’d have to say, you’re on your own. Judge the tone of the owner and the establishment, and take individual cues.
I work in the beauty biz, and yeah, generally you don’t have to tip the owner. BUT… if you feel you want to give a ‘thanks’ and a cash tip makes you stressed out (and hey, you are coming to us to get pampered and relaxed, we don’t want to stress you out!) then this is what I’ve seen work… bring cookies! Or some other kind ‘thank you’ treat … it gets the message of “I appreciate your work” across without any awkwardness.
[caveat] I live in Australia, where tipping isn’t really usual unless it’s in a restaurant.
I usually ask my hairdresser (the owner of the salon) to ’round it up’ to the next nearest $20 amount, because she does a great job. But when I do that she gives me a bag of unsold samples, so I guess it doesn’t really count as tipping.
Well the guy who cuts my hair is the owner of his salon, and he is also the only stylist there (it is a very small business). He sometimes has a shampoo girl there (and I think she might do nails sometimes, or use to…?) and sometimes he shampoos my hair himself before a cut. To further complicate things, he is a friend of the family, a neighbor of my Mom’s and has done numerous nice things for my Mom and was very helpful and supportive to my Mom during a recent difficult time. And he doesn’t charge me full price either!!!
I LOVE the way he cuts my hair. It is perfection and he always does exactly what I want. I don’t know how he does it but it looks good the day I have it cut and it looks good as it is growing out, for weeks. Truly it is not until about 8 weeks later that it starts to look raggedy and by then my bands are in my eyes and that’s when I go back. So in my case, I tip VERY generously, and I’ve also brought goodies to the shop and have given a gift certificate to a local restaurant for him and his wife.
In my case it is a sincere “thank you!” and he knows that. In other places I’d tip whoever it is with no regard for if the person is the owner – I’d rather err on the side of generosity than skip the tip.
My stylist is the owner of his salon, but that has not always been the case. I have followed him through two different salons. I get my hair cut every six weeks and have it highlighted every 12 weeks. I only tip him for the 12-week session, since those are 2-hour sessions as opposed to the 30 minutes it takes to give me a simple cut. My tip used to be $20 until he raised his prices and know it’s $10–but the total is the same.
I’ve been wondering for a while– what is the proper tipping percentage for stylists? I have friends who swear that 10% is the industry norm, and others who say that it’s the same as restaurants and should always been 15 to 20%. I usually err on the side of larger tips because I don’t want to be an asshole, but I’m never sure what’s right.
Also, what’s the deal with food delivery tips if you have a lot of food delivered? I had a bunch of friends over a few nights ago and we ordered 5 pizzas and then had a debate about whether you still just tip a few bucks because it’s one delivery, or whether you’re supposed to tip more because the bill is larger. This kind of shit stresses me out.
Oh good, people who can answer a question of mine. I’ve started going to this esthetician for bikini waxes (fun!). She runs her own business and has no employees. The wax I get is $50– am I expected to tip on top of that? I haven’t been, but I’m so used to tipping my hair dresser, etc. that I feel kind of awkward not doing so. I’ll definitely tip if it’s customary, but on the other hand, spending $50 on wax every four or five weeks is something I shouldn’t even be doing in the first place …
As Anna said tipping is not prevalant in Australia but the other problem I would have is that I go to a bigger salon and I get one person who washes my hair, another does the color, another does the cut and yet another handles the blow dry.
So who do I tip? Especially in the situation i’ve had where I love the color and the cut but i’m not wild about the blow dry.
I had thought of leaving just a general tip but then some people who did deserve it would probably miss out and some people who didn’t would pocket more than they deserved.
Makes me glad that we don’t generally tip over here.
I’ve never had stylists, whether the owner or not, refuse a tip. I usually do around 20% but it really depends on how well they’ve done my hair. If they do a good job on my cut/color, then they get a tip.
I had one stylist who loved me and bent over backwards to make sure she kept me as a client. I figured out one day that I was tipping her almost 40% and so I cut her tip to around 20%. Once I did that, she wasn’t so interested in doing my hair and she started giving me horrible haircuts! This was after 6 years and 3 salons (2 of which she owned). And she’d smoke while my color was processing and then come back and cut my hair with her smoky fingers. Yeesh.
After that experience, I make sure I tip if they do a good job. If not, they’re out of luck.
Locks of love = bad. Other hair charities = good.
http://badhairday.typepad.com/bad_hair_day/2006/07/locks_of_love_i.html
While I sort of see the point of stuff like that posted by Karen & Robin, in the first place if people (the bloggers, not the commenters who linked) bothered to read the Locks of Love website, they would know that their primary interest isn’t in making wigs. They make custom fitted vacuum prostheses, primarily for children with conditions that result in PERMANENT hair loss.
So if you’re angry that they aren’t making your hair into wigs for kids with cancer, well… you know. That’s kind of your problem since that isn’t really what they do.
The prostheses, by the way, are important because they seal to the kid’s head so other children can’t pull them off as a cruel joke, and they can be worn while swimming and showering. They cost over $1000 and growing kids need a new one every 18 months or less.
Locks of Love sells the hair that is unfit for use in the prostheses to help offset the cost of producing those prostheses, and the few wigs they do make. Would people rather they just throw the hair away?? I totally don’t get it. Or… cancer kids are more worthy of your hair than kids who are going to be bald for the rest of their lives due to a freak genetic accident? Why?
I never heard of LoL before today, but seeing people all up in arms about information I got in about three minutes on their official website makes me go “shrug.” If you feel that strongly about your hair, don’t cut it off.
Topic: I don’t think I’ve ever had the owner of a salon cutting my hair, but I guess I fall in the “offer it anyway, and leave the ball in their court” camp. Tipping in general makes me feel horribly gut wrenchingly awkward. Especially since I moved out east where there is a signficantly larger percentage of A) fancy places my inlaws drag me to and B) valet parking (AAHHH MY NEMESIS! Who do I tip? and when? leave the car running or not? I don’t know you get out of my car ahhhhhhh!! Haaate!!!).
I don’t frequent salons or spas but my single spa experience was made all the more uncomfortable by the tipping issue. People: how do you tip your massage or wax people? I usually keep my money in my pants, which are missing!! WTF? how does that work?? Ahh! How do you tip your pedi person? They send you away to the drier. Then I have to go BACK to give her her tip while she’s working on her next client. SO. AWKWARD. I hate tip culture. I don’t mind the money I just don’t know what to DO.
@Carrie – That might be the worst thing I’ve ever heard. 20% is standard. In some places it’s even a little high. I can’t believe she purposely gave you bad haircuts for AVERAGE tips. What a beeyotch.
I had always heard you don’t tip the owner, and my first job out of college (TV news) my employer covered our salon expenses through a trade agreement for ad space on our station so I never tipped the owner who did my hair. Then I heard a colleague tell someone else about the arrangment, adding that “but tips are up to us.” So of course I was mortified that I’d committed some faux pas and started tipping him, even through subsequent jobs where my appearance expenses were my own responsibility.
After he moved out of state I started at a new salon where my stylist is again the owner, but being a small-ish community, she’s also the younger sister of a friend from HS, and I just continued the practice of tipping her.
It varies – mostly I just round up $10-15 on top of the charges rather than a straight % and she’s never refused it. I have no idea if she uses it toward perks for those who lease, but I have to say I get excellent service and she’s always willing to work with me on last-minute schedule changes or stay late to accommodate me if needed, so I’ve never regretted it.
I’d never heard this, but the place I go is small (two stylists who own it) and I’ve always tipped, so would probably keep doing so either way.
But, I have bangs. I’ve been cutting my own, since the place I go charges for a trim. I’m moving next fall, though, and know that lots of places trim your bangs for free if you got your hair cut there. Do I tip on that? Going rate is 5-10 dollars, so it’d be a 1-2$ tip, which just feels like a very small amount to hand someone who isn’t holding a pizza in their other hand.
I am a hair designer in a booth rent salon. The owner who is also a hairstylist is renting the building with plans to eventually buy the building. EVeryone that works for the salon is renting their own space and not giving any percentage of what they make to the owner. We pay booth rent once a week and that money helps pay all of the bills. The owner of the salon is working just as hard, if not harder, than all of us and if anyone deserves a tip it would be her! I think people who don’t tip are just cheap! A couple extra bucks never hurt anyone. And as a hairstylist I can honestly say I think it is very rude when people love their hair but don’t tip. The tip shows how much you really appreciate their work!
I know I’m late to the party, but my dad is a barber (is it all that different from being a hairdresser?) and owns his own shop. I will agree with Gail above – tips helped put my sister and I through college, pay the mortgage, etc. Watching my family’s finances fluctuate with the success of his business, I always make sure to tip on the generous side to whoever cuts my hair, does my nails, gives me a massage or provides other services, owner or not. I always make sure to give a few dollars to the girl who washes my hair at the salon, if it is someone else besides my hairdresser.