I have hair.  And when I say that, I mean I have hair.  It doesn’t go far past my shoulders, but it is thick, and coarse, and full of weird waves and cowlicks.  It has been compared to “horse hair” by several people who have gotten their hands on it.  This is some hair, people.

Basically, the only way to get it out of my way is to twist it back in one of those big hair claws. I’ve had one for years, and since it’s plastic, it looks like I’ve had it for years. I’ve looked for metal ones, but they’re either tiny, or they’re those glittery ones encrusted with rhinestones that weigh a ton and look right only on brides or fifteen-year-olds. I’ve looked on Etsy, but the ones there tend to be made of cigar bands or have huge flowers attached. I just want some nice, plain, metal hair claws big enough to hold hair that is the width of a respectable hot-dog bun.  Anyone got an idea where to get them?  Or, failing that, an easy way to sweep big, thick hair back with pretty accessories?

Sincerely,

Hair Clogs My Vacuum Cleaner Every Week

Dear Clog,

I have fine, thin hair that’s only fluffy enough to take even a teeny claw clip because I wreck it to hell with blonde hair color every six weeks, so I will not be a ton of help. But I have friends with thick “horse” hair, and my first recommendation, for any hair type, is to get a stylist who understands how to deal with your particular hair. My girl Angela knows my head; she understands how to layer to give me more volume, that she has to cut “on the bias” in the back because my cowlick placement is kooky, etc. Try to find your own Angela, one who will suggest thinning out your hair underneath so it isn’t quite such a massif, and who shows you how to style it yourself at home, using tools or a pomade or whatever. I learned a sweet tip to help me with straightening last time I went in.

I say this because, if you’ve reached the point where you twist it up in the same clip every day…I mean, you may as well cut it all off. I don’t think you want to do that, but if you care enough about how it looks to ask for “pretty accessories,” you care enough about it to experiment with it, and spend some time on it, and I think you’ve kind of convinced yourself that your hair is intractable and that styling it every day would take a full hour and you’re Not That Guy. This isn’t a judgment — I was like that — but a good hair wrangler can 1) get you a cut that works WITH your hair and 2) teach you how to do it yourself (or close enough) in your own bathroom, which 3) gives you some options for leaving it down sometimes.

…This isn’t what you asked, but since recently re-achieving Ponytail Length, I’m kind of an evangelist for giving yourself a menu of styles. Don’t let your past narrative of “oh, nobody can do anything with this mane” close off your options.

Anyway! Google “Goody Corporation” to see what they’ve got going on (I believe you can finally order direct from their site now?), and let’s see what the readers recommend.

*****

Hi Sars,

I am looking for non-fiction books to read. I try to read four books at a time, because I am insane — a “fun” fiction, usually something genre or light and beachy, like the True Blood books; a classic or at least well-written piece of fiction; a fun non-fiction, usually a celebrity biography or something of that nature; and a serious (read: educational) non-fiction. I have more fiction titles in my queue than I can probably finish in my lifetime — I am looking for suggestions on the non-fiction side, especially for the serious/educational side.

For the serious category, I am open to reading most any topic — economics, business, sociology, psychology, science (if it’s not too in-depth), history, politics, GLBT studies, etc.; so long as I can learn from it I’m happy. Only thing off limits is biographies of the more nauseating Republicans (if I was trapped on a desert island and it was the only thing available to read, I STILL would not read Going Rogue). Two books I recently enjoyed were Lies My Teacher Told Me and A Short History of Nearly Everything (which was exactly the right level for me in a science book — not childish, but not so in-depth I didn’t understand or get bored). For the non-serious side, celebrity biographies of actors mostly, or humorists like David Sedaris are the kinds of things I enjoy.  

I strongly prefer the recommendations be available for Kindle, but I would consider buying the paper book if it’s really that good.

Thanks,

Sophie’s Choice For Me Would Be My Kindle Or My TV 

Dear Sophius,

I’ll let the readers handle this one, mostly, but I’ve got a couple of suggestions.

One is the works of William Poundstone. He’s the author of the Big Secrets series, which I mention on here alllll the tiiiiiime, and he started publishing those…Jesus, 30 years ago. So some of the information is not the most recent, and I don’t know that they’re Kindle-able. (…”Kindlable”? Can I get a ruling?) But it’s a ton of info about “secret” stuff like the formula for Coke and KFC; the Masons; Scientology; celebrities’ real ages; those phantom radio frequencies that only broadcast one letter; that kind of thing. Poundstone’s tone is dry, but not TOO dry, and he’s also written things like The Ultimate, which settles great armchair debates, and Fortune’s Formula, which is about betting systems — again, written so civilians can enjoy it, and if you like books about blackjack and games, that’s a great one.

I’m also in the middle of Earl Swift’s The Big Roads: The Untold Story of the Engineers, Visionaries, and Trailblazers Who Created the American Superhighways. It’s not easy to make state-congress infighting over transportation funding interesting, but Swift does a great job, and his prose evokes the times really well.

So that’s what I’ve got for you. (Friend me on Goodreads if you want to see my true-crime “shelf.” It’s terrifying.) Readers, hit Sophius with some suggestions, but please confine yourself to THREE (3) SUGGESTIONS PER so he’s not overwhelmed. Thanks!

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