The Vine: July 6, 2000
Hello!I went out with a guy five years ago who was just great – he was intelligent, sensitive, attentive, and absolutely doted on me. Unfortunately, I was shallow, inexperienced, and thought any guy I was going to date seriously had to be tall, dark and handsome; he had red hair, was balding, and I was not at all attracted to him sexually. So, I broke it off. Now, at 30 years old, I’m much more mature, and after a string of unfulfilling relationships with guys of every degree of handsomeness, I find myself valuing his good qualities much more than I did five years ago. Also, I find balding guys to be quite sexy, I no longer have an aversion to red hair (it’s funny how your desires change as you mature), and I’m quite sure that lack of sexual attraction would no longer be a problem.
So, here’s my dilemma. I have found myself thinking about this guy a lot over the last couple of years. I saw him on the road a few weeks ago (he didn’t see me), and I was dying to give him a call. However, I’m a bit of a coward. Is it ever okay to call someone out of the blue, when you broke up with them in the first place so long ago? I’m afraid that he would not want to even hear my voice – I mean, he seemed pretty broken up when I dumped him – what if he hates me now?
So, what should I do? Should I swallow my pride, gather up all of my courage and give him a call? Or should I just try to stop thinking about him and attempt to find someone else as great as he was?
Please let me know what you think.
Yearning for my ex
Dear Yearning,
I think you should go ahead and call him. Yeah, he might tell you to get bent, but at least you’ll know one way or the other, and to my mind, it’s better to regret doing something than to regret doing nothing.
Just make sure you don’t idealize him unduly in your mind beforehand. Earth looks awfully peaceful from space, if you know what I mean.
Tags: boys (and girls)
