Hi Sars,I have a huge dilemma, so I hope you have some advice. I have a great job with huge growth potential. I enjoy my work and I make great income to support my daughter and myself, which I need. I work very closely with the general manager of the company and here is where my problem begins.

I am recently divorced and lately, my boss has been very friendly. We have always had a good working relationship with lots of friendly banter, but I have gotten the feeling lately that he is more than a little interested in me. He frequently gives me little perks and this has been okay, but today he asked me if I would be interested in going to dinner or the movies with him sometime. He is married and has a son the same age as me. I am 23 and he is approximately 42.

How can I maintain a good working relationship while still making it clear that I am not interested in anything more than that? I cannot afford to lose my job and I enjoy working for him in every other aspect. He hasn’t made any moves on me or anything, but I don’t want things to progress any further than they have. PLEASE HELP!

Confused and job-needy

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Dear C&J-N,Oh, brother. In my opinion, the guy has crossed the line between “friendly” and “inappropriate” – working relationship or not, a married man shouldn’t go around asking female co-workers out on what amounts to a date, and it seems like a 42-year-old should know better than to put an employee in an awkward situation of this type, no matter how innocent his intentions.

I’ve never found myself in this situation before, thank god, but here’s my advice: if he invites you to do anything not specifically work-related, turn him down politely. If he asks for a reason, tell him that you feel it’s inappropriate for you to spend time with him outside of a work setting, particularly since 1) he is married, and not to you, and 2) he is your superior. If he doesn’t catch his snap, I’d suggest mentioning it to your personnel rep. Banter is all well and good, but if you feel uncomfortable, or if you get the sense that your job is at risk if you turn down his advances, you have a legitimate and possibly actionable problem.

But try a simple “no” first. That might do the trick on its own.

Tags:   boys (and girls)   workplace