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The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

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The Vine: October 21, 2009

Submitted by on October 21, 2009 – 3:02 PM87 Comments

Sarah:

I’ve just been referred to you for help.

Can you please help me identify the Woody Allen film in which a particular scene appears? Here goes. In an attempt to become/seem less Jewish, Woody throws bologna and a loaf of white bread into his cart while touring a supermarket. Many thanks. The scene and my inability to place it have been haunting me for about a week now.

Thanks again.

Marion

Dear Marion,

Do you mean the scene in Annie Hall where he’s horrified when Annie orders a corned beef on white with mayo and pickle?Googling didn’t turn up anything else.

Readers?

Dear Sars:

I’ve been scratching my head most of the day about something I completely didn’t expect to happen.About three weeks ago, I got an invitation in the mail to C’s wedding.C was a friend during high school, we’ve known each other socially for over fifteen years and briefly dated for a small period, but haven’t really kept in touch at all for the last six years or so.

She’s getting married to J, who I don’t know at all, but by all accounts is a really great guy and they’re head-over-heels for each other.I was happy for them and pleasantly surprised to get the wedding invite, so I RSVP’d that I would be coming.

Fast forward to this morning.C calls me up, horribly embarrassed.It turns out that she mistakenly put my name on the envelope when she meant to put my father’s name (his name is a shortened version of mine, though they couldn’t really be mistaken for each other) and the invitation was meant for him.Our fathers are quite close friends, so it would make more sense that he would get an invitation over me.Because I recently moved out of my dad’s house and am having my mail forwarded, the invitation got sent to my new address and I didn’t think anything of it.My dad and I aren’t close at all and don’t talk much, so I didn’t bring the invitation up to him at all.

C was extremely apologetic, but told me that she’d already called dad and told him of the mix-up.He confirmed that he would be attending and since the venue was so small, there wasn’t enough room at me for the reception.I was a bit taken aback at getting un-invited, but assumed it was the bride’s prerogative and told her it was fine and not to worry about it.

Now that I’ve had a few hours to think about it, the whole situation makes me feel rather odd.I’d already bought a gift for C and J off their registry (it wasn’t cheap, either, and I’m going to grad school, so money is tight) and arranged to have the day off for their wedding.The wedding is two weeks from tomorrow and I’m almost as surprised at the short notice as I am by the un-invite.

I guess my question to you is two-fold: first, was C out of line by telling me not to come, and second, should I send the gift anyway?I threw away the receipt, but could probably get store credit if I were to return it.Thanks for any help you can give, because I’m not sure what the etiquette would be on a situation like this.

There’s four letters’ difference, woman

Dear Four,

Yes, I think she was.I understand that a wedding can get expensive, I understand that couples want to stick closely to the agreed-upon guest list, I understand some venues can’t accommodate any overage — fine, whatever.But if you live in the world and you have any experience with weddings, even third-hand, you know you’ll have a few last-minute changes, a few roommates who mistakenly assumed the entire apartment got invited, and so on and so forth.Couples need to build at least a little elasticity into their numbers to allow for that…primarily to avoid awkwardness of this type.

And if it’s that important to them to stick to the guest list as written, no substitutions or exchanges, fine — then it’s probably just as important to check spelling on names, make sure invitations don’t go astray, and so on.C did not do this.Yeah, your father is really her own father’s guest, but she dated you; presumably she knows the difference in your names, and I think we can also presume that, if she has room in her catering budget to invite her parents’ friends, she has room for one more person she might not have expected.If she cared that much about the head count, she ought to have been more conscientious about the invitations.

It’s not all that horrible, I guess; it’s not as though you assumed a level of closeness that she then uncomfortably had to adjust for you.It’s tacky, though, and the gracious thing here, I think, is to just issue another invitation to your father and mention nothing to you about it.

Since she didn’t go that route, though, she can do without the frying pan you bought her.You could send the gift anyway, with a pointedly correct note wishing the couple happiness and saying it’s too bad you couldn’t celebrate with them now isn’t it oh my whose fault is that why what do you know it’s totally yours cough cough — but passive-aggressive behavior is bad enough when it doesn’t cost anything.You can’t really afford it, and she’s made it clear her wedding can’t really afford you.Return it.

What is an inexpensive, attractive, non-disposable wrapping-paper alternative? The holidays are coming and I’m anti-paper and meh on gift bags.

Not a throw-away nation

Dear Throw,

…Tupperware?A sock?Not to sound flip, but “inexpensive,” “attractive,” and “non-disposable” may not be able to co-exist given the customary function of wrapping paper.

Taking the second requirements first, you might go with vintage boxes; depending on the size of the gift, you could make part of the gift the wrapping, and tuck jewelry or gift cards into a pair of mittens, or a hat, with a fabric bow tied around it.How about baskets?Haunt flea markets and stoop sales for cheap ones; I’ve never passed a stoop sale in Brooklyn that isn’t selling some baskets or notional bowls for a buck each.You could also browse a fabric/notions store like Jo-Ann for inexpensive bolts of cloth; it’s definitely different, and if the recipient is crafty, that could make up part of the gift as well.You could use hand towels, aprons, or scarves, too (and a little creative folding and/or tying will save you some tape).

But those things cost money, and while some of them sound pretty rad and memorable, it’s the type of project that can seem nifty and fun at first, and then before you know it it’s December 12th and you feel like you have a second job.I made custom barrettes for my entire class one year, and it just turned into this Dickensian subplot, plus the end result…not cute.

I feel you on the gift bags, but they don’t cost much (you can probably get a great deal on plain Kraft bags somewhere like Uline.com), people do re-use them to death, and it saves time.Open bag, huck gift into bag, tie bag closed with festive doodad (or not), done.Up to you, though — if you’ve got some time and a plan, and you can price out other options attractively, go for it.Just don’t kill yourself on it to make a point.

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87 Comments »

  • wheatjumper says:

    We use the comics page of the newspaper as wrapping paper. Easy to come by – just won’t work for really large gifts… Of course, I guess you could always tape sheets together to make a larger sheet.

  • heatherkay says:

    I actually gift-wrapped shoe boxes one year so that could be opened like presents on TV — you know, the lid is wrapped separately from the box? Those have shown up multiple times at family Christmases.

  • Mary says:

    Throw – I have had past success with wrapping gifts in those reusable bags that you get from the grocery store for $1. My sisters and I all live in different areas of the country — a bag from Giant Eagle is pretty novel when you’re in Stop ‘n’ Shop territory.

    It’s not a perfect solution, but it worked for me.

  • Jessica says:

    The answer to #1 is “Hannah and Her Sisters.”

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    The comics page is disposable; you can’t really re-use it.

  • Baker Lady says:

    @throw-
    Scour thrift stores for cheap scarves/fabric/tablecloths/sheets/etc. that can be cut up and then used to wrap gifts. You can probably find some cheap ribbon there as well or cut strips from cloth to use as ribbons. I think that if you google it, there will be tutorials online on how to fold the cloth to wrap the present(s). Good luck!

  • Jamie says:

    Throw: My husband and I found this tip on a blog and did this last year with great success – use resusable shopping bags instead of gift bags. We did this for my whole family and they LOVED IT and all use the bags when they go shopping (we found cute ones at Whole Foods that still were only $1 each). It’s kind of a gift that keeps on giving and while it doesn’t look very Christmas-y, it’s a good alternative to gift bags.

  • wheatjumper says:

    Well, duh. Guess I missed the non-disposable part… (Must. Have. Caffeine.) Sorry… Skip me.

  • ferretrick says:

    @Four: Hell yes she was out of line and hell no you shouldn’t send the gift after being uninvited. No invite means no gift required, I think uninviting someone after the fact definitely should carry the same consequence.

    Also, a lot of stores these days can look up the purchase from your credit card number and you don’t need a receipt to get a cash refund. Get your money back, or store credit at the least.

  • Andrea says:

    @Sars: true, but using it is a reuse in itself. So it probably still saves the world a bit more than buying and disposing of an all new paper product. :)

  • MsMolly says:

    I think I disagree with your answer to “Four Letters”. The bride doesn’t really seem out of line to me. As far as I can tell from that first paragraph, “Broseph” hasn’t talked to her in six years. She meant to invite his father “Bro”, and it was an honest mistake. To me, really, it seems weirder that Broseph would have taken the day off work and bought an expensive gift for the wedding of someone who he hasn’t even bothered to keep in touch with for more than half a decade. Sure, it would have been nice if she could have corrected her error by inviting them both, instead of de-inviting Broseph, but it’s not like she dis-invited an actual friend. Broseph is barely an acquaintance at this point.

  • Rhiannon says:

    I agree with Mary; reusable shopping bags are great, especially if you can find unusual ones. IKEA has one that matches one of their lines of gift paper this year, too, which I thought was a really cool idea. If you don’t mind spending $3.50 instead of $1 on a bag, some grocery stores sell thermal lined bags to help people transport hot or cold groceries, which I think would be really useful. Bags that zip at the top, or fold into themselves to be fit in a purse are also quite useful.

  • EmilyGrace says:

    For boxed gifts, spray paint is an option –  holiday colors or gold and silver will work. Just be careful it’s not something they might want to return. For everything else, the tea towel option is pretty cheap and doesn’t take any more time than wrapping paper (once you’ve bought the towels). Thrift store scarves work well for smaller gifts and can be pretty cheap — a place near me has them for a dollar each and they can go back there later if they’re not to the recipient’s taste (which they probably aren’t, because… one-dollar scarves).

  • Peach says:

    I second the store bags. When I was in Ireland, my friend laughed at me for keeping all the shopping bags, but was impressed when come Christmastime, all the gifts were dropped right back into their original bags. My family loved it. I mean, would you rather have your Waterford crystal token (because really, I couldn’t afford BIG crystal!) in a snowman-covered box or the original thick white glossy embossed pretttttttty Waterford bag?

    The bags were a big hit.

    Also, Bed, Bath and Beyond does free gift wrap (at least, they do when it isn’t Christmas – I avoid stores in December) and those boxes and bags get passed around my family for years.

    Our family also tends to use hatboxes… you can get them relatively inexpensively at craft and hobby stores (I mostly frequent Hobby Lobby). You can just stick a bow or ribbon on them and you’re done!

    And now that I think about it, most craft and hobby stores also have sales on tins (plastic and actual tin), wine bottle cases, and decorative boxes all the time. And almost all stores have coupons to make them even cheaper. Most come predocorated or others come plain and you can stamp, paint, cover, do what you will with them. And while my family doesn’t usually use these type of containers to regift, they do keep them for storage or display – so they aren’t disposed of.

    I also did baskets a few years ago when my gifts were all food related – jars of jam, homemade slasa, soup jars, etc. And any thrifty person will tell you if you gift things already in jars, no need for wrapping, stick a bow, ribbon or just a handmade note and you’re set.

    Wow, did I just go all nerdy about gift packaging?

  • michelel72 says:

    Can the wedding gift be “sold” to the invited father to be the gift from him instead? Or did he already get and send something, too?

  • Suzanne says:

    Throw – I use book jackets. They are usually pretty and come in a variety of sizes; they can be patched together to make a quilted pattern and fit larger items; and if you look around a bit you can often find a cover that “matches” the gift. They are sturdy, and the waxy coating allows for repeated tape removal so you can reuse them. But still recyclable if they get torn.
    Of course, I work at a library that doesn’t shelve books with their jackets, so they are easy to come by for me. But I bet if you asked a librarian near you they probably have some lying around you could have. If libraries don’t use them on their books, they are usually either recycled or used as office decoration.

  • Alexis says:

    For Throw: http://furoshiki.com/
    Buying special ones wouldn’t be cheap, but you could get some fabric cheaply (as Baker Lady says) and the furoshiki techniques will be helpful in doing good wrapping jobs.

    http://furoshiki.com/furochic/ has some wrapping-specific info.

  • Nicole says:

    There are a bunch of videos showing how to wrap gifts with fabric. Anything from boxes to books to wine bottles.

    Examples:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhvVh8PIrC0
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LrXsroqp-w

    (And I realize this is disposable and paper, but…) I tried to wrap in an eco-friendly manner last year and used Christmas advertising that I got in the newspaper from Macy’s, etc. Much of it was already red and green and had Christmasy-stuff on it. It only looked a LITTLE ghetto, but I was reusing and it still looked festive.

  • EC says:

    @Four – yeah, return that gift and get store credit. Or keep it, if it’s something you’d use. I mean…ugh. As Sars said, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard, but the situation is entirely C’s fault AND she handled it thoughtlessly.

  • Lily says:

    As a person who was married three weeks ago, I feel obligated to respond to Four Letter Difference.

    It’s partially the bride’s fault that the invitation was forwarded to the son – that’s part of the etiquette of addressing wedding invitations. She should have made sure (knowing that the son and the father have the same name) to include a middle initial, or some sort of clarification (e.g. Sr. or Dr.). However, even though the father uses a short version of the name, she was also technically correct in using the full version. I’d be willing to bet that the post office has mistakenly forwarded a few other things meant for the father to the son.

    However, yes, most wedding venues and guest lists can be pretty tight. We had several people invite their girlfriends/boyfriends, and we had to tell them that at that time, there wasn’t room in the plan for the extra people, but we also left it politely open-ended, just in case. Happily, we had a few people cancel that we had thought would be for sure coming, so there wasn’t a problem with the extra people attending.

    Anyway, my response would be A) yes, she was a bit out of line and could have (and may have, we don’t know) worded her un-invite more tactfully; and B) send the gift anyway. It will look really spiteful if he takes the gift back, as that will be reflected on the gift registry (that it was bought and then un-bought).

    It’s always better to be the better man, and just leave out any drama.

  • Pam says:

    Anybody else wondering what Four Letters’ name is? Completely unrelated to his dilemma I realize, but it has piqued my curiosity…. Hmmmmm…..

  • scairney says:

    @Throw we tried giving everyone in the family holiday fabric swatches so that presents for the family get wrapped in those and then reused over and over (a bit tricky as tape does not work but safety pins or staplers do). It worked fairly well for the last holiday gift exchange as we got some new fabrics and gave ours out. And we also re-use an old atlas and those national geographic maps as wrapping paper (educational and pretty).

  • Cyntada says:

    Oh, word on the warning to be careful what you plan for Christmas… because I have spent exactly too many Christmas mornings dozing off, thanks to Christmas eve all-nighters spent wrapping or (gasp!) still MAKING the damn presents. (Which were then not wrapped, because by 4:37 am I had NO patience for that kraft-paper-and-raffia thing I’d been dreaming about since September or so.)

    Assuming that you have a better grasp of time management than I obviously do, I’d go for the present-within-a-present idea. There are people that will throw away a pretty piece of fabric, but most folks will use something that is useful, like a scarf or kitchen towel. So I’ll nth the notion of thrift store baskets wrapped in dollar store textiles and secured with clearance-rack hair barrettes or tie tacks.

    For that matter, one year a friend of mine just skipped the whole wrapping thing altogether. She gave everyone a huge dollar-store mug half-filled with candy and the top plugged with a cute stuffed animal. The mugs had a calender design on them good for the following year, which was 1998. I am drinking my tea out of said mug at this moment, while noting that the calendar this year actually matches 1998, so… bonus! That’s pretty good mileage for a “nondisposable wrapper” that’s nearly 12 years old.

  • Margravine says:

    This is an admittedly disposable gift wrap option, but it is also a re-use of otherwise disposable stuff. I like to use the crumpled sheets of brown and off-white paper that mail ordered gifts (especially from Amazon) often come packaged with. Every Christmas I wind up with seemingly infinite amounts of this stuff and I just crudely wrap the gifts in it, tie them with rough looking twine from the grocery store and call it a day. It’s pretty much free and it looks cooler than you’d expect. Last year I upped the ante and added gift tags that I cut out from cardboard wine and beer dividers that I had ready to recycle.

  • Sean says:

    I agree that No. 1 is Hannah and Her Sisters, although variations on that scene appear several times. In Hannah, he’s taking various gentile food items out of his shopping bag at home when he’s thinking of converting to Catholocism, including a loaf of Wonder Bread. I don’t think he’s at the grocery store, but that’s the closest I can think of to the scene you describe.

  • AKN says:

    I am a fan of using Clementine boxes for Jams and Jellies or other pretty / display-ready gifts. They’re plentiful that time of year, and have a sort of homey charm. Plus, they can be reused for storage (they are particularly good for 45s, not that anyone has those anymore . . .)

  • Jennifer says:

    Two words for bags: dollar store.

  • senlin says:

    Answer to #1 is definitely “Hannah and Her Sisters.” It’s when he’s scoping out different religions.

  • Faith says:

    I’m with MsMolly on the wedding uninvitation issue, personally. If I were him, and was invited to a random acquaintance’s wedding after not even seeing them for 6 years, and I, at the same time, knew that my dad was super-close to the bride’s dad, had a name similar to mine, AND my mail was being forwarded from his address to my recently new one? I might be able to feel that one out, personally. It doesn’t seem all that tough.

    Also, it’s been a couple of years since I planned a wedding myself, but I still remember the pain and trouble I went to in finding a proper venue that could accommodate the guest count we could afford/wanted to invite, and also had the right “vibe” for our wedding that I wanted it to convey. It ain’t easy. It sucks that she put everyone in the position that she did, but I honestly don’t blame her for doing what she did. He should return the gift, see if he can get his work schedule back on track, and move on with life accordingly.

  • Valerie says:

    “You can’t really afford it, and she’s made it clear her wedding can’t really afford you. Return it.”
    I love this; the bride was crass to un-invite you; you don’t owe her anything.

    Re: Christmas wrap – years ago I bought a bunch of Christmas fabric on sale (after the holiday, so it doesn’t help you for this year) and made several dozen drawstring bags in a variety of sizes. We’ve used them over and over, but to me, one big drawback is that they’re silent!! No rustly-paper noises makes Christmas morning seem strangely subdued. My boyfriend loves them, however, because it takes only a minute or two to “wrap” a whole pile of gifts. Drop it in, pull the strings – bam, you’re done. He hates wrapping.

  • Emma says:

    There are ways to make gift bags more fun and creative…stock up when you can (dollar stores are great for this) and pick a bag that works well with the occasion and the gift. Include plenty of color-coordinated also-reusable tissue paper (to cushion the gift, give you another decorative outlet, and add some of the fun of unwrapping for the recipient.)

    Added bonus: post holiday familial bitch sessions about whose turn it is to fold the tissue paper this time.

  • B says:

    Sounds to me like the husband-to-be just found out they used to date and has decided he should be uninvited – and until that point he was happy to let the mistake happen. But that might be my imagination running away with me. It does do that.

  • La BellaDonna says:

    Oooh, for packing up gifts, go seek ye http://dharmatrading.com/html/eng/3324-AA.shtml (sorry, I am tinyurl challenged)!

    They have blanks of ALL KINDS OF EVERYTHING – linen, cotton, silk, bamboo, and hemp – scarves, sarongs, bags, bolts of fabric, clothing blanks. You can buy a beautiful NEW silk satin scarf, 6″ by 24″, starting at ONE DOLLAR AND TWENTY-SIX CENTS each. They have teensy silk gauze bags up through tough twill messenger bags. They have some SUPERB silk-and-wool scarves, they have handwoven cotton scarves from small countries that could use the work (Dharma is an ethical source.). You can buy stuff to wrap gifts from them, you can buy GIFTS from them; a handwoven ALPACA shawl/scarf is under $40. You can get a 4′ x 6′ silk sarong with handrolled edges for under $10. You can put gifts from them in gift BAGS from them.

    You can get some of those inexpensive tote blanks and some appropriate dyes and turn them loose in the hands of the CHILDREN of the family, and have some fabulous permanent artwork for family members – much better (IMO) than crowding out the space on the refrigerator, because you can CARRY IT WITH YOU and brag endlessly! (You can also see about pinching some of the artwork on the refrigerators and having it scanned onto a T-shirt for a grandparent or other relative.)

    One year I got my then-husband one of those fabulous toolchests on wheels; it was about the size of a Volkswagon Beetle. I wound up wrapping it in a green damask tablecloth! Wish I’d gotten one for myself, or kept it, honestly. There are some great suggestions here (I think so, because I was going to make them, too) about thrift store scarves, tea towels, hand towels, washcloths, etc. – and sheets are good for wrapping up big gifts, if you don’t want to cut the sheets up, which you can also do. But remember that there’s no reason you can’t wrap something in a funky T-shirt as the “wrapping paper,” and stick a bow on it, since I think the goal is reusing the gift’s wrapper; otherwise, I’m all about buying a bolt or two of cheap Christmas or Channukah print fabrics, and snipping to suit – you can use it in squares and tie up the corners, or make it into gift bags, if you’re feeling under-abused.

  • Linda says:

    I don’t see how it’s spiteful not to give the gift. If she doesn’t have room at the wedding, she can’t POSSIBLY consider it petty not to be given the gift. I’ve heard of entitled brides, but there cannot possibly be any bride who believes she is entitled to a gift from someone she not only didn’t invite to the wedding, but called up and DISinvited from the wedding, when she never would have expected a gift from the person but now does because the putative guest THOUGHT there was an invitation and now she should get to keep the present. I mean, self-centered is one thing; that would be … sociopathic. Besides, what is she going to do? Gripe to mutual friends that you returned your registry gift after you found out you weren’t invited to the wedding? I would invite her to try that argument out on ANYONE.

    If you call up and say, “Just to clear up any misunderstanding, you are not invited to my party,” you cannot possibly expect a gift to mark the occasion. I mean … I agree with the calls for understanding because accommodations can be tight, but there is no way you stretch your budget to make that gift happen.

  • Rachel says:

    For certain-sized gifts, I have found that boxes from the liquor store work nicely. Just remember, though – if your Uncle Charlie is celebrating 15 years of sobriety, it’s probably NOT a good idea to put his gift in the Stoli box. Is all I’m sayin’.

  • IS says:

    Re: non-disposable wrapping paper alternatives, something to think about is whether they’re something the recipient will actually reuse, or whether the recipient will just end up throwing them out (either now or the next time they de-clutter). Personally, the next “reusable” shopping bag I get is going to get thrown out because I have way more of the things than I could ever possibly use, but those silly little gift bags I actually do end up reusing for gifts that I give to other people.

    If you can’t swing something suitable that the recipient will reuse, it might end up being more environmentally friendly to wrap the gift in reused and recyclable paper.

  • maggie l. says:

    I’m with B. I’m betting there was something else going on behind the dis-invite. Doesn’t excuse the behavior – to me, you don’t un-invite someone unless they’ve poisoned your dog or something. It was HER error, not some assumption that he made about bringing his girlfriend or whatever.

    On the Not-Disposable-But-Recyclable-and-Not-Creating-More-of-a-Paper-Market side of the present-wrapping dilemma, I save full-page photos from magazines throughout the year and use those as wrapping paper. I am TERRIBLE at wrapping presents – can’t stand the fiddly bits with the tape and the corners and whatnot. But I always have interesting looking gifts because of the images with which I wrap them.

    I do like the idea of the fabric, though – I’ll have to look into some of the posted suggestions!

  • melina says:

    I’m with Sars on Four. Dude’s not required to read the bride’s mind. It’s not actually that weird to assume that, when you get an invitation to a wedding, you are, in fact, invited. Nor is it weird to plan to attend said wedding, clear one’s schedule, and buy a gift. I was brought up with the rule that if you are invited, you attend, unless you can’t. I would also assume that an ex could successfully distinguish between me and my dad. I’m on the fence about returning the present or not, but: the bride made a mistake, and handled it by putting everyone else in an awkward position. She should be embarrassed, for crying out loud. I get that it’s her special day and a lot of effort went into the guest list and blah blah blah, but: if it was that important, then she should have been paying attention to her spelling. Uninviting is bad manners, period, and the bride handled it about as gracelessly as she possibly could.

  • Jane says:

    The bride probably isn’t thinking this through, but she’s been really quite rude even if she didn’t mean to (you don’t dis-invite. You just don’t, even if the “invite” part was kind of a screwup), and the last thing that Four Letters needs to do is worry about the fate of this individual’s gift registry. Store credit time!

  • Four Letters says:

    Hi, all. Just to clarify a few points and/or questions in the comments:

    @MsMolly: This family has been friends of my family for some time, so I made sure to clear a spot on my calendar and buy a gift, same as I did when C’s older sister, B, got married a few years back.

    @michelel72: Dad was working on putting together a part of the wedding for the family in lieu of a gift.

    @Lily: I realize now in my letter I wasn’t entirely clear. My dad and I don’t have the same name, his is often taken as a shortened version/nickname of mine.

    @Pam: Jonathan. Dad’s name is John.

    @Faith: Again, I was probably remiss to make it seem like C was just an acquaintance, as our families have been friends for years.

  • Allison says:

    I like to wrap with tea towels sometimes (usually more for female presents). They’re flat and crisper, for lack of a better word than regular cloth, so they don’t wad or bunch up as much.

  • Liz C says:

    I was going to suggest pillowcases (Christmas-themed perhaps) as a wrapping paper alternative, but I like the store bag idea.

  • Elizabeth says:

    @B: You know, it’s not just you, because that was my first thought too. That, or the bride really really wanted to invite someone else and thought she could weasel out of this one.

  • Anne says:

    Vintage hankies, fabric napkins and table cloths, old curtains, and fabric remnants from thrift and charity shops make wonderful “reusable” wrapping paper alternatives. I do regular second-hand store and flea-market runs, and keep my eyes peeled throughout the year for interesting fabrics for just this reason. Second hand stores often have baskets of yarn and ribbon, as well, so you can get all your wrapping bits and bobs if you plan ahead and keep your eyes (and mind) open.

  • Maren says:

    Seconding the fabric-wrapping suggestion; there are cool sites all over the internet for it. My family reuses the same paper/laminated gift bags for years by handing them right back to the giver, but it’s not always easy to tactfully ask for that back if it’s someone not in your immediate circle.

    My guess on Four Letters’s names is Jo(h)n/Jonathan, which are my dad’s and brother’s names — similar, but one is not actually a nickname for the other.

  • EJI says:

    Love me some “Hannah and Her Sisters”…”If Jesus came back and saw what’s going on in his name he’d never stop throwing up.”

  • Cath says:

    Throw: I save shirt boxes and grab a bag of colored stones from the fish supplies aisle and glue them on, in a pattern if I’m feeling frisky, with a toss if I’m in a hurry. If I use paper grocery bags, I’ll spread some glue and toss on a handful of glitter or colored sand. The second option is only advisable if you’re not in charge of cleanup, though, as that stuff will go absolutely everywhere.

  • Sandman says:

    I love that scene from Hannah and Her Sisters: Woody decides “Catholic now!” The proof: he pulls a crucifix, a jar of mayo and a loaf of Wonder Bread from his grocery sack.

  • Sue says:

    I buy discount fabrics and make bags, some with drawstrings, some with handles and some are sized to common gifts like CDs. At Christmas it takes not time to do the wrapping and they are reused every year. Each year I add a couple more to the mix with fabrics I find after the season is over.

  • Tori says:

    So… not everyone grew up in a family where not only gift bags, boxes, and tissue paper are religiously guarded and preserved, but the bows as well, to the point that there is six layers of old Scotch tape on each one? No?
    There are closets (closets, people!) dedicated to the stocked up boxes, bags, bows, and tissue paper in every single house in my extended family. My aunt, after sixty years of stockpiling the tissue paper, realized how much she had, and now only wraps in the fragile frothy film. Last Christmas, my mother’s gift to me was in a Macy’s box that had a receipt in the bottom of it from FIFTEEN YEARS AGO. We are lucky these things collapse so easily.
    My grandparents (on the other side, interestingly enough) took a separate idea and went the comics route, which was awesome, because their paper had different comics.
    These days, I am a gift bagger, and a gift bag keeper. Must be in the genes. I do get a kick out of specifically placing things in boxes from the stores they did not come from, though.

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