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The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Home » The Vine

The Vine: October 4, 2000

Submitted by on October 4, 2000 – 11:34 AMNo Comment

Sarah,Libra woman needs to know that if Michael or Pete are dating anyone else, casually or seriously, they’re not telling her. Eighty percent or more of guys wouldn’t tell, and ninety percent of those who wouldn’t tell would then lie if confronted/asked.

If Libra woman feels she needs to ‘fess up to either or both, she should go for it. But I sense a lot of ambivalence from her, and she says she’s not serious (yet) about either of them.

Leave well enough alone, I say. She should date them both and let her heart sort it out.

Regards,
Wayne

Dear Wayne,

First of all, Libra is not necessarily a woman…just so you know.

Second of all, just because Michael and/or Pete wouldn’t tell Libra if they had things going on the side – and, for the record, I have to take issue with that generalization – doesn’t mean that Libra should use their assumed dishonesty as an excuse for his/her own.

I don’t exactly disagree with your contention that Libra should date them both, but I do think that if Libra develops stronger feelings for either Michael or Pete, and then has to extricate him- or herself from the relationship with one of them, it’s going to get ugly if he/she doesn’t tell them both the truth from the beginning.

Hi Sarah,I’m yet another bewildered person trying to find an apartment in New York. It seems like I’ve tried everything and spoken with every real estate agent in the area, and none of them call me back. Is there some secret that I just don’t know? I knew before I came that it would be hard, but I never expected to not even be able to get people to talk to me!

Thanks,
Soon to be living in a cardboard box

Dear Soon,

There’s no secret, except persistence and compromise. Keep calling. Keep filling out the forms. Prepare yourself for the truth, namely that you will not find your ideal apartment and that you will have to settle, probably out of your price range.

I don’t know why brokers wouldn’t call you back, but here’s a short list of possible reasons: you have pets (especially dogs); you don’t make enough money, or you don’t have anyone who could co-sign a lease for you; you don’t have any references; you and four of your friends want to jam into a cheap two-bedroom. Brokers hate recent college grads, too, for all the reasons you’d suspect – not enough money, not very responsible sometimes, unrealistic view of the rental market.

Really, though, it’s because brokers have millions of clients to choose from, and if you can’t look at a place right away, or if you can’t come up a bit on your price or give up a few amenities that you wanted, or if you just leave them a message and expect them to call you back, they’ll just move on to someone else.

Keep at it. Be aggressive.

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