I’ve been dating a great guy for about five months now. That’s going well – we really laugh at each other’s jokes, only when very tired run out of things to talk about, and when I look at or think about him I get excited butterflies in my stomach. After several misguided relationships and a long but rewarding period as a singleton I’m happy to be involved with someone.

The problem is that in three months I’m starting a two-year graduate program 2800 miles away.

Though I got into a program here in Washington DC, the one I will be attending in California is superior, gives me the opportunity to attend school full-time, and comes with a generous fellowship. California also offers close family and old friends nearby as well as relief from the miserably humid DC summers. I’m not attached to my job here and plan on keeping in touch with friends.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m scared of the big change ahead in general…but I’m also sad and scared at moving away from this wonderful guy. He’s been incredibly supportive of my going away (in between semi-drunken confessions that he really doesn’t want me to go) and has started making plans to come and visit.

But I’m worried that he’ll find a nice girl who doesn’t live a continent away. I’m worried I’ll miss him and I’ll be lonely.

I don’t particularly want to stay in DC, I’m excited to go away to school, I don’t want to leave him, and although I’d be thrilled if he came to California we’ve been together for only five months. I don’t want to stay here because of him, and I don’t want to break up just because I’m leaving. Any suggestions on how to keep the romantic fires going until we have enough time and relationship behind us to decide what we want to do?

Leavin’ on a jet plane