"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: July 27, 2000
July 27, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I have this problem. I'm a 19-year-old girl living in Utah. Ordinarily, that wouldn't strike anyone as being much of a problem, however, I'm not LDS (Mormon)…. *gasp*. I'm what one would call somewhat …

The Vine: July 26, 2000
July 26, 2000 · No Comment

Okay, so here's my current problem.
My two-year-old son "caught" me and my boyfriend having sex in the living room the other day. He came down the stairs and I don't even know how long he …

The Vine: July 25, 2000
July 25, 2000 · No Comment

Today, I'd like to welcome my sibling and intern, Mr. Stupidhead, who's joining me in the advice broadcast booth. He's quite a level-headed lad. Two Buntings, no waiting.
Dear Sarah,
Several years ago, I worked a summer …

The Vine: July 24, 2000
July 24, 2000 · No Comment

I'm 16 years old, and will be a senior next year. I've never had a boyfriend, and have never had anyone, to my knowledge, be attracted to me at all. I know that I'm extremely …

24 Vines In 24 Hours
July 20, 2000 · No Comment


I just got into an argument with a coworker and friend about this, and realized that it is a very interesting debate. Wondering where you would weigh in on this.
We work at a multinational consulting …

The Vine: July 19, 2000
July 19, 2000 · No Comment

At the risk of submerging myself in a bog of psychobabble, the likes of which I may never overcome in my life, I have issues with closure. Specifically, I've been disappointed, angered, frustrated, and underappreciated …

Wedding-Bell Blues
July 19, 2000 · No Comment

A week or so ago, I went to an outstandingly fun wedding. Well, okay, actually I went to an outstandingly fun wedding reception, since I plugged "Such-and-so Street" instead of "Such-and-so Avenue" into Yahoo's mapfinder …

And Then There Were Two
July 19, 2000 · One Comment
And Then There Were Two

I grew up in a multi-cat household. My family always had two cats, starting with Ding, who actually beat me to the first-child punch by nearly a year. My parents have lots of pictures of …

Cease And Desist
July 19, 2000 · No Comment

I spent last weekend on Fire Island in the company of my great good friends the Couch Baron and Dix, and after driving up to the ferry and wending our way to the island and …

All I Ever Wanted
July 19, 2000 · No Comment

I've just gotten back from a lovely four-day sojourn to California. The less said about the actual physical sojourning, the better, I suspect, although I would like to take this opportunity to thank the guy …