"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

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From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

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Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Sincerely Your's
May 20, 2001 · 26 Comments

I try not to get snitty about the crappy English usage of other people. I breathe in through my nostrils and slowly out again with my mouth shaped like an "o," reminding myself that not …

The Vine: May 18, 2001
May 18, 2001 · No Comment

Hi Sarah,
Here's some background on my dilemma…there's a woman from college (we'll call her Jane) that I've kept in touch with because we ended up living in the same city after graduation.She's rather high-strung and …

The Vine: May 16, 2001
May 16, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I love the Vine and have been a Tomato Nation fan since the days when it was on a site with CyberSleaze…
Just a quick note to about the woman whose mother will be losing …

The Vine: May 15, 2001
May 15, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I just discovered you write these advice columns and while I really can't believe I'm writing to you about my personal problems I do want to tell you how much I enjoy your DC …

The Vine: May 11, 2001
May 11, 2001 · No Comment

Here's the problem.I'm a senior in high school. I'm also a social pariah, by choice — I've just never gone in for all that typical teen spirit crap, and that's fine by the cheerleaders.Now, I …

The Vine: May 10, 2001
May 10, 2001 · No Comment

Hi Sars
How do I tell a girl politely to get lost. She totally screwed up my life; she used me like a bank machine and taxi service. I left university and I moved 90 miles …

The Vine: May 8, 2001
May 8, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I live in a co-ed dormitory and have developed a crush on a guy who lives on my floor.We started hanging out on Superbowl Sunday and didn't leave each other's presence for more than …

The Vine: May 7, 2001
May 7, 2001 · No Comment

You may want to have C-toony check to see if the city s/he lives in has a creative directory. For a fee, you can place an ad containing your work into a large, indexed publication …

The Vine: May 4, 2001
May 4, 2001 · No Comment

I spent the weekend brooding about a situation with my family, and decided this morning that, first, I am not a vampire with a soul, and, secondly, perhaps writing it out would help. I apologise …

The Vine: May 3, 2001
May 3, 2001 · No Comment

Okay, so here's the deal. My boyfriend, Sam, and I are getting married. To alleviate any bad circumstances or even the slightest twinge of jealousy, we've agreed not to invite any of our exes to …