"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: November 20, 2000
November 20, 2000 · No Comment

Hey Sarah,
I'm "Waiting's" girlfriend. The plot is a tad bit thicker than my girlfriend may have led you to believe. It isn't as simple as just having her birth certificate with her…that wouldn't help. She …

The Canon According To Tomato Nation, Part Four
November 19, 2000 · No Comment

It's Monday again. I had a houseguest over the weekend, and while the houseguest rocked my world, the pile of work which I ignored in favor of houseguest fun times did not, and I have …

Dear Hammurabi: Help.
November 19, 2000 · No Comment

The universe has its laws. Conservation of energy, conservation of matter, the speed at which light travels – all well-known properties of our universe, all proven by science, all memorized by high-school physics students. Other …

The Canon According To Tomato Nation, Part Three
November 19, 2000 · No Comment

It's Monday. I slept poorly last night, partly because I ate a snack about an hour before going to bed and had utterly bizarre chocolate-fueled dreams involving Tom Skerritt and a merry-go-round as a result, …

The Vine: November 17, 2000
November 17, 2000 · No Comment

On Not's problem,
Just a quickie comment that I think her man might have something else going with someone else.It's based on no info other than what she provided, but if suddenly my BF got cold …

The Vine: November 16, 2000
November 16, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
Over the summer, I got involved in an Internet relationship with a girl from Canada. I am originally from California and was there while I was involved with this girl online. In August, I …

The Vine: November 15, 2000
November 15, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah –
I've been dating a new man for about two months now.We hit it off very well and are enjoying getting to know one another.He recently has developed some feelings that he's unable to …

The Vine: November 14, 2000
November 14, 2000 · No Comment

Hi Sarah,
I read The Vine today, and I think I may know why that coffee blows. Now, assuming they've got a drip coffee maker, and it's an hour between the time he makes it and …

The Vine: November 13, 2000
November 13, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
Recently, my fabulous boyfriend of one and a half years moved in to my apartment. Things are going very well, he is the best roommate I have ever had, and it is bringing us …

The Vine: November 9, 2000
November 9, 2000 · No Comment

Oh, Sarah.
I have a large collection of medical difficulties, all of which preclude insurance for me. My mother applied for a credit card in my name to pay for my medical expenses (which regularly exceed …