"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

And So It Begins
December 19, 2000 · No Comment

I went shopping last Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. I know, I know. But Wing Chun needed Christmas cards, and so did I, and we figured that that whole embrace-that-which-you-most-fear principle had to work for …

Yes, You Can
December 19, 2000 · No Comment

My dad is kind of a forbidding guy. He's tall, he has a basso profundo voice (in high school, my friends would call my line, get the answering machine, call downstairs, hear Dad say "hello," …

Death Is Not An Option
December 19, 2000 · No Comment

So the two of you get in the car at 8:47 in the morning for the ten-hour land-speed dash to Toronto. You've got coffee. You've got snacks. You've got maps. It's snowing to beat the …

The Vine: December 15, 2000
December 15, 2000 · No Comment

I don't know that there's an answer to this one, other than quit feeling guilty.But I'm looking for suggestions.
I once had a business partner who rapidly became a very close friend.Too close.Smothering close.I have a …

The Vine: December 14, 2000
December 14, 2000 · No Comment

I've actually been in a similar situation before, so I have a different take on it. I was about as pure as Snowgirl was when I met an older guy who'd had a hell of …

The Vine: December 7, 2000
December 7, 2000 · No Comment

Hi, Sarah –
I started college this fall admittedly lacking experience with guys. I had guy friends and a quasi-relationship with a guy who called me last week to fill me in on his new boyfriend, …

The Vine: December 6, 2000
December 6, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I was best friends with a girl for 17 years. She was going through a tough time, and I tried to be there for her. One day out of the blue, she stopped talking …

The Vine: December 5, 2000
December 5, 2000 · No Comment

Hey hon…
Can I jump in with an addendum to your advice for Frustrated and Confused…?
You told F&C that she should call up her church pastor (the one who failed to blow the whistle on S's …

The Vine: December 4, 2000
December 4, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
First of all, I have been reading both your site as well as Mighty Big TV for a while now and find them both vastly amusing.Just thought you might like to hear that.
Anyway, here's …

The Vine: December 1, 2000
December 1, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
My dear friend Shawna told me about your site so I just had to check it out. Good stuff. But here's my problem: I'm currently pregnant with my second child and my husband Mike …