"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

4 Out Of 5 Doctors Agree
October 19, 2000 · No Comment

Nobody likes commercials. We might enjoy individual commercials, of course – the recent Volkswagen ad campaign, for example, or the "whaaaazzzaaaap" ads before the parodies got so played out – but on the whole, we …

Gym Dandy
October 19, 2000 · No Comment

Every year at around this time – when I've exhumed my sweaters from the back of the closet, returned my mittens to their rightful place on the radiator, and resumed my wintertime habit of grounding …

Mock The Vote
October 19, 2000 · No Comment

I have recurring anxiety dreams. In the anxiety dream I have most often, my teeth start to get loose, and in my dream, it's the weekend, so I can't go to the dentist, so I …

The Vine: October 17, 2000
October 17, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
Okay, I have this friend.This female friend.To her, we're like the epitome of best friends, and she claims that I'm closer to her than anyone.I'm like, okay whatever, because I don't really care.She says …

The Vine: October 16, 2000
October 16, 2000 · No Comment

For the past year, I've been dating "Adam."He's a great guy – I adore him – but I'm starting to wonder about the future of our relationship.The problem is Adam's sister "Anna."Adam and Anna share …

The Vine: October 7, 2000
October 7, 2000 · No Comment

Hi Sarah,
I have a problem for you and I hope you can help because I am completely out of ideas.
I'm 22, and after living with my parents for the last six months or so I've …

The Vine: October 6, 2000
October 6, 2000 · No Comment

You've mentioned that you've done the long-distance love thing. Well, I'm in need of some advice.
I've been dating a great guy for about five months now. That's going well – we really laugh at each …

The Vine: October 5, 2000
October 5, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I have been reading Tomato Nation for some time now and never had a reason to write in until now.
My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for about five months now and …

The Vine: October 4, 2000
October 4, 2000 · No Comment

Sarah,Libra woman needs to know that if Michael or Pete are dating anyone else, casually or seriously, they're not telling her. Eighty percent or more of guys wouldn't tell, and ninety percent of those who …

The Vine: October 3, 2000
October 3, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Wise One,I'm in a real quandary on this one. I love your advice to others and think you're right on, so I'd love to hear what you think I should do.
Since my last lover …