"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: November 14, 2000
November 14, 2000 · No Comment

Hi Sarah,
I read The Vine today, and I think I may know why that coffee blows. Now, assuming they've got a drip coffee maker, and it's an hour between the time he makes it and …

The Vine: November 13, 2000
November 13, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
Recently, my fabulous boyfriend of one and a half years moved in to my apartment. Things are going very well, he is the best roommate I have ever had, and it is bringing us …

The Vine: November 9, 2000
November 9, 2000 · No Comment

Oh, Sarah.
I have a large collection of medical difficulties, all of which preclude insurance for me. My mother applied for a credit card in my name to pay for my medical expenses (which regularly exceed …

The Vine: November 8, 2000
November 8, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I have been dating this great guy for the past year and a half, and I have reached a dilemma.
"Ted" and I have almost everything in common: religion (rather, lack thereof), children (nonexistent desire …

The Vine: November 7, 2000
November 7, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I cannot untangle the following mess. I respect your advice and would appreciate any help I can get.
I am almost 18, my boyfriend (fiancé? husband? Try and figure out his technical title if you …

The Vine: November 3, 2000
November 3, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I have a friend that I've known for about five years. I had always considered her one of my best friends.
About eight months ago, there was an incident involving my friend (we'll call her …

The Vine: November 2, 2000
November 2, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I go to an alternative school. I've had some troubles in my past and I kind of wound up there. But that is not the point, though it does play a part.
There are only …

The Vine: November 1, 2000
November 1, 2000 · No Comment

Oh, please, Sarah,
Also please tell "Gravy" that this situation (if the cat is, in fact, not domestic) is NOT good for the cat either. No matter how happy Reginald may seem, he is not in …

The Vine: October 31, 2000
October 31, 2000 · No Comment

Perhaps you could give me some advice on a small matter which has been troubling me lately.I will disguise myself as "Gravy," the better to conceal my identity.Here is the problem.
A few years ago my …

The Vine: October 30, 2000
October 30, 2000 · No Comment

I began looking into my family history about a year ago and discovered (through official records, not from my family) that my maternal great-great-grandfather was African-American.He married a French-Native American woman.His son (my great-grandfather) married …