"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: September 26, 2000
September 26, 2000 · No Comment

Ugh.I have a problem.
I have been dating probably one of the most amazing boys on the planet for three and a half months.We are extremely happy/amazed that we even met anyone like each other.He (we …

The Vine: September 25, 2000
September 25, 2000 · No Comment

Hi Sars!Long-time reader, first-time whiner.
My little group of five is splitting up.Granted, we've only known each other for a couple of years, but we all worked at the same place this year and have gotten …

The Vine: September 23, 2000
September 23, 2000 · No Comment

This is going to sound bathetic, drawn-out and yucky.Bear with me.
I just came out of a car accident that did a real number on me.Mercifully I suffered no debilitating spinal cord injuries, no freak amputations, …

The Vine: September 22, 2000
September 22, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I have recently entered a graduate program for creative writing. My workshop class began a few weeks ago, and though it's for the most part full of creative people who are also fun and …

The Vine: September 21, 2000
September 21, 2000 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
You probably get a lot of letters for advice on this type of thing, but here is my dilemma anyway.I have a very close friend, one of my best friends, whom I basically fell …

The Vine: September 20, 2000
September 20, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I have a problem and I hope you can help me. I'm twenty years old and have been going out with this wonderful guy for about six months. He's funny, intelligent, extremely kind, and …

Summer's End
September 19, 2000 · No Comment

I went to a new bar last night. I do not like going to new bars, and Ernie had to furnish me with notarized documents swearing up, down, and around the side that the new …

Dear Old Golden Rule Days
September 19, 2000 · No Comment

I always marked off my childhood summers according to clearly delineated dates. The countdown to getting out of school started at Memorial Day, and then a couple of weeks later, school let out, and we …

Picture Imperfect
September 19, 2000 · No Comment
Picture Imperfect

I do not like having my picture taken. Yeah, yeah, everyone says that, and everyone groans when they see pictures of themselves – "Like, could I look any fatter?" and "Okay, they keep talking about …

Hobey, Come Home
September 19, 2000 · No Comment

It started on Thursday night when Hobey went into The Throw-Up Crouch. Cat owners everywhere know The Throw-Up Crouch: the cat is going about his business, surveying his domain or taking a nap or administering …