"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

"Love" Among The Ruins
July 20, 2001 · No Comment

A.I. doesn't work. It can; it could. For reasons I can't quite put my finger on, I very much wanted it to. But in the end, it just doesn't. Why not?
Let's look at the accusations …

The Vine: July 19, 2001
July 19, 2001 · No Comment

Hey Sars:
First of all, the usual kudos for your very fine writing — I think I've laughed at or enjoyed everything I've ever read that you write — and that includes your editorial comments over …

The Vine: July 18, 2001
July 18, 2001 · No Comment

Dearest Sars,
A friend recently decided to quit her job to be a freelance writer. I heard she was struggling a bit, so I offered her some work for my company. I wasn't that desperate for …

The Vine: July 17, 2001
July 17, 2001 · No Comment

Two months ago, my boyfriend of two and a half years, with whom I had been living for a year, broke up with me, claiming we had become incompatible sexually, which he felt would never …

The Vine: July 13, 2001
July 13, 2001 · No Comment

More suggestions for Very Confused Girl: If J's mother won't go to counseling (professional or spiritual), I recommend that she look into support groups for parents who have lost children. One group J's mother (or …

The Vine: July 12, 2001
July 12, 2001 · No Comment

Dearest, all knowing Sars,
Okay, time for a really awkward question: a cousin of mine died about a week ago. I wasn't greatly affected, because the last time I had seen him was 1985. But he …

The Vine: July 11, 2001
July 11, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I feel pretty strange writing this, as this is not the sort of thing that I would usually do, but you're a stranger and that makes it a little easier for me to unburden, …

The Vine: July 6, 2001
July 6, 2001 · No Comment

Hey Sars —
I've been reading the Vine for some-odd months now and it seems to me that you give pretty level-headed advice on just about anything — and I'm a strong believer in that sometimes, …

The Vine: July 5, 2001
July 5, 2001 · No Comment

Regarding "Can't Believe I Thought It Would Be Kind Of Romantic":
I can't believe you didn't call this chick on her major self-esteem issues. She just broke up with a long-term boyfriend and then grabbed the …

The Vine: June 30, 2001
June 30, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I am a sophomore in high school, and I have a problem.See, my friend "Lisa"'s mother is dating a man whose son, "John," goes to our school.John is a freshman.He's a nice kid, sure, …