[about two weeks ago]
Eating lemon sorbet at my desk, straight from the pint with a serving spoon like the classy dame I am, I drop a nickel-sized blob of sorbet next to the keyboard. My …

Hi Sars,
It’s my apartment. I just moved into a new place, and decided I need to actually decorate this one, now that I’m sort of an official grown-up now at the grand age of 27.
Only …

Dear Mr. and Mrs. James Bunting,
How does that feel?
I am writing a business letter (probably my second ever) for work, and have been instructed to put the header as follows:
Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Anonymous
1455 ______ …

Dear sir,
The next time you find yourself wearing sunglasses indoors, ask yourself these questions:
1. Am I the leader of a cult?
2. Am I either John Munch or Bono?
3. Have I recently undergone surgery on my …

How about the “Father’s Day” music video from Guyz Nite?
Yes, that’s Mr. Stupidhead in the bear outfit. Obvi.
(Looking for the Die Hard vid?   It’s here, with a new fourth verse, but is yippee ki …

Prospective Replacements For Bob Barker On The Price Is Right:

Bob Vila
PROS: Hiring another dude named Bob could ease the transition for announcer Burton Richardson; Vila’s home-renovation expertise is handy for contestants unsure of how …

When it comes to crying in public in New York City, you have two schools of thought: 1) that it’s terribly lonely and sad that nobody ever stops to ask after the cryer; and 2) …

Hi there Sars —
As my kids are getting towards that age when the words begin to matter more than the pictures, I’ve started a collection of my favorite “chapter” books such as The Hobbit, A …

I can’t decide whose home-run call is worse: John Sterling’s (“IT is high, IT is far, IT iiiiiis…GAHN! Home run, [player name]!”) or Michael Kay’s (“Track; wall; see ya!”). Forced to choose, I would vote …

“Family Values”:

You know that scene in Zoolander when they introduce David Bowie to judge the walk-off, and they freeze-frame on him with a subtitle reading “David Bowie” and a chord from “Let’s Dance”? This is …