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“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

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From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

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Articles in Stories, True and Otherwise

When Half Spent Was The Night
September 11, 2009 – 7:31 PM | 35 Comments
When Half Spent Was The Night

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and known, without moving the curtain to look outside, that it had started snowing? Maybe you’d had a bad or strange dream, or your …

OFD on WNYC
September 11, 2009 – 7:38 AM | 20 Comments

My spot on this morning’s The Takeaway.   Please share to as many social media outlets as you can — thanks.

Operation Find Don
September 10, 2009 – 2:57 PM | 156 Comments

I realized after a couple archive searches that this never made it over from the old site. Not sure how much good it will do now — my feeling at this point is that, if …

OFD goes global
September 2, 2009 – 10:45 AM | 4 Comments

My appearance on BBC Radio 4’s “Americana,” from Sunday, talking about trying to find Don.   The podcast is available via free download on iTunes; I come in at minute 22-ish.
OFD is also a Facebook …

Happy birthday, Mr. S
August 30, 2009 – 9:23 PM | 10 Comments
Happy birthday, Mr. S

Supporting the Pepperidge Farm flight of the N Cookie AA since at least 1980.   Have a good one, bro.

This just in (or, rather, out): Master Stupidhead
June 15, 2009 – 10:41 AM | 100 Comments
This just in (or, rather, out): Master Stupidhead

Above: David Gardner Bunting III, born 13 June 2009, 7:45 PM, eight pounds, five ounces; and his favorite aunt.   Everyone is healthy and in fine fettle, and the littlest Bunting is already submitting amiably …

Deckheads!
June 3, 2009 – 8:05 AM | 76 Comments
Deckheads!

I thought, at this late date, that I’d heard pretty much every meow the cats had to offer. Aggrieved “yes, there’s kibble in my bowl, but you have to come watch me eat it” wail? …

Who’s a good girl?
April 25, 2009 – 4:25 PM | 21 Comments
Who’s a good girl?

1) The Boosh, who has just departed for her new home with 2) Miss Laura.   Yay for both of them!   And thanks again to 3) Elena at S.I. Feral Initiative, and to all …

Meet the Boosh
April 19, 2009 – 2:27 PM | 67 Comments
Meet the Boosh

I have another foster cat.   Her provisional name is “the Tiny Boosh” (her silly shelter name is “Babooska [sic],” which obviously could not stand), but “La Bouche” is equally appropriate, as girlfriend weighed only …

Shut up, St. Patrick’s Day
March 16, 2009 – 8:29 PM | 99 Comments
Shut up, St. Patrick’s Day

Ireland, Irish people, Irish culture, Irish Spring soap, Kathy Ireland — I’ve got no beef with them, corned or otherwise.   I could do without shitty Oirish accents of film and television, but that’s not …