“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Editorial Comments In Cat-Barf Form, Vol. 1
August 27, 2009 · 28 Comments
Editorial Comments In Cat-Barf Form, Vol. 1

Barfed on: my notes for a recap of the two-part 21 Jump Street pilot; a catalog from Costume Express whose back page pictures a tween girl in a slutty-goblin outfit; a final-issue notice from Star …

The Vine: August 26, 2009
August 26, 2009 · 66 Comments

Hey Sars,
I have an ex-boyfriend question for you. I’ll try to sum up as well as possible.
I dated my ex-boyfriend off and on since we were teenagers, then seriously for 5 1/2 years. We broke …

The man, the myth, et cetera
August 26, 2009 · 23 Comments
The man, the myth, et cetera

I made jokes, but he’ll be missed.

N Cookie AA: Keebler Prelim Polls
August 25, 2009 · 34 Comments
N Cookie AA: Keebler Prelim Polls

Can’t tell the difference between some of these selections? Welcome to Keckler’s and my lives during the set-up of these tourneys. Heh. Vote for what you’ve heard of, tried, or liked, and we’ll sort it …

Brooklyn Diners, Brokelyn-style
August 24, 2009 · 8 Comments

My piece for Brokelyn on top-five diner plates around the borough; great pix by their staff photog, too. Stay tuned to Brooklyn Diners tonight for a review of the Emphasis in Bay Ridge.

Support Local Biz: August 24, 2009
August 24, 2009 · 3 Comments

My great good friend Hud is Director of Development at an organization called Freedom Calls; the foundation’s mission is to deploy the latest technology to keep servicemen and -women in Iraq in touch with their …

The Vine: August 21, 2009
August 21, 2009 · 62 Comments

Hi Sars,
Here’s an unusual Mystery Book for you, or your legions of readers, to puzzle over:
I was an insatiable reader in middle and high school; the downside to this is that ten years later, almost …

N Cookie AA: Pepperidge Farm Prelim Polls
August 20, 2009 · 39 Comments

Lotta Ps there.Lotta choices, too, so we apologize in advance for slow load times.Clearing your browser history usually solves any problems with the poll itself.
You may vote for as many selections at once as you …

N Cookie AA: Preliminary Housekeeping
August 20, 2009 · 13 Comments
N Cookie AA: Preliminary Housekeeping

Greetings, snacklings! Please give Wing Chun a round of applause (or clink your spoons on your bowls) for her excellent co-captaincy of the N Cereal AA.
It’s already time to do it again. The N Cookie …

The Vine: August 19, 2009
August 19, 2009 · 68 Comments

Dear all-knowing Cat Lady,
I have a problem with my kitten and it’s making me crazy. No one has been able to help me so I’m hoping someone out there could give me some advice.
I have …