Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Midtown Humanity On Parade, Vol. 3
June 11, 2007 · 110 Comments

When it comes to crying in public in New York City, you have two schools of thought: 1) that it’s terribly lonely and sad that nobody ever stops to ask after the cryer; and 2) …

The Vine: June 8, 2007
June 8, 2007 · 87 Comments

Hi there Sars —
As my kids are getting towards that age when the words begin to matter more than the pictures, I’ve started a collection of my favorite “chapter” books such as The Hobbit, A …

Worst home-run call in MLB broadcasting
June 6, 2007 · 67 Comments

I can’t decide whose home-run call is worse: John Sterling’s (“IT is high, IT is far, IT iiiiiis…GAHN! Home run, [player name]!”) or Michael Kay’s (“Track; wall; see ya!”). Forced to choose, I would vote …

Brothers & Sisters: “Patriarchy”
June 6, 2007 · 4 Comments

“Family Values”:

You know that scene in Zoolander when they introduce David Bowie to judge the walk-off, and they freeze-frame on him with a subtitle reading “David Bowie” and a chord from “Let’s Dance”? This is …

The Vine: June 6, 2007
June 6, 2007 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Which sentence is correct: “One of my favorite things about my church are the stained glass windows,” or “One of my favorite things about my church is the stained glass windows”? Should I use …

Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow
June 3, 2007 · 15 Comments

It’s slow to get rolling, and I came thisclose to turning it off, because a couple of the initial fight sequences looked fake on the level of high-school-play slap choreography. But the payoff is very …

“An Imprisoned Fish,” by HK
June 2, 2007 · 7 Comments

[Updated 6/2/07 with honorable mention entries.]
Below, the winner of the “An Imprisoned Fish” mini-contest. The entry contains all the hallmarks of the SA style: randomly capitalized and quaintly hyphenated words and phrases (“Champagne Punch,” “boy-friend”); …

The Vine: June 2, 2007
June 2, 2007 · 8 Comments

Hi Sars,
I love the practical turn The Vine has taken, and I’m hoping between you and your readers I can get a recommendation for a good book. I work for a magazine that is finally …

Mondo Extras — MTV Movie Awards Special: “Movie Awards On Other Networks”
June 1, 2007 · No Comment

“If PBS Had A Movie-Awards Gala…”

A star-studded, faintly mothball-scented evening of battles and ball gowns, the Hissies — hosted by Doris Kearns Goodwin, who will allegedly write her own material — celebrate the epic stories …

And Sisto was his name-o
June 1, 2007 · 16 Comments

Just read in my Cynopsis.com daily bulletin that Jeremy Sisto is joining the cast of Law & Order next season. Rock! I’m mostly happy that the attempt on L&O life via dumping it into a …