Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: August 3, 2006
August 3, 2006 · No Comment

Been dealing with large boobs, broad shoulders and a small rib cage my whole life (seriously; bras in the third grade), trying to find a happy medium between porn star and pregnant (shirts cut larger …

The Vine: August 2, 2006
August 2, 2006 · No Comment

Re: Shampoo’s travel issues, I think she’s looking at it backwards.
I’ve traveled extensively for business too, and I just can’t understand the concept of packing so much that you need multiple large pieces of luggage. …

The Vine: August 1, 2006
August 1, 2006 · No Comment

She’s gotta read Valley of the Dolls. It’s a classic of trashy mid-’60s literature. She’ll wanna run out and buy false eyelashes and a leopard-print jacket.
AG
Dear AG,
Agreed. And then she should rent the movie, starring …

Girls’ Bike Club XIII: Hasselhopeless
July 31, 2006 · No Comment

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: I think you mean “Mel-lo.”
Wing Chun: I…do?
Sarah: Yes, sugar tits, you do.
Wing Chun: Sugar what now? …Ohhhh, yeah, Mel Gibson. Hey, what’s the movie where he’s frozen and then he wakes up?
Sarah: …

The Vine: July 28, 2006
July 28, 2006 · No Comment
The Vine: July 28, 2006

Hi Sars,
I travel for business. I can’t get the luggage thing right. I need a garment bag so my clothes don’t get wrinkled because me? And an iron? Don’t get along. I have a wheelie …

The Vine: July 27, 2006
July 27, 2006 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Long-time reader, first-time writer. And it’s the former that’s the problem.
Oh, it’s not that I’m dissing your (high-quality and hilarious) site — it’s that I can’t tear myself away from my computer. I think …

Helena, Part Two
July 27, 2006 · No Comment

Helena wanted to know first of all what Molly Guidry did — for a living. Mr. Morgan didn’t know for sure, although he’d heard she worked for the Forest Service, which sounded about right to …

The Vine: July 26, 2006
July 26, 2006 · No Comment

Sars and “Order,”
I have what I consider to be the best gyn in the world, Rachel Villanueva. I absolutely adore her and I recommend her to everyone. I am 26 and not married, so my …

The Vine: July 25, 2006
July 25, 2006 · No Comment

I think the biggest thing you can do for an intern is to give them structured, balanced (some good/some negative) feedback. The ability to use both types of information to improve your work performance will …

Seven Sixteen
July 22, 2006 · One Comment

I remember the day he came home from the hospital. Now he’s in tails and a yarmulke, waiting for his bride. That little towheaded person, clutching a Care Bear, calling me “Seh” until he could …