Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Famous Ghost Monologues, No. 10: Nelson Friedrich Schrantz
September 1, 2003 · No Comment

Heaven — it’s an interesting question, and it’s even more interesting because nobody around here agrees on the answer. Ask a dozen different people, get a dozen different theories. Heaven exists, or there’s no such …

The Vine: August 26, 2003
August 26, 2003 · No Comment

Sars,
I don’t have a huge drama-scene problem. But I’ve got things that have been turning over and over in my head, and it seems like they’re all coming to a head at once, so I …

O Pringle, Where Art Thou?
August 25, 2003 · 2 Comments

What is the perfect snack? It is a question I have often asked myself as I lurk, unsatisfied, in the local delis — how to define and discover the ideal snack in its Platonic form, …

The Vine: August 21, 2003
August 21, 2003 · No Comment

Sars,
While I wholly agree with your response to “Third Party” as far as not going out to eat if you can’t afford it is concerned, I wondered if you could say more about your take …

The Vine: August 20, 2003
August 20, 2003 · No Comment

Hello, Sars.
The advice that you have given in the past regarding all matters feline has been spot-on, so I’m going to you first with a question regarding my new kitty.
Curious is about a year old, …

The Vine: August 19, 2003
August 19, 2003 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I have to rant about something. I know I’m preaching to the choir when writing you (Sars) about it, but I just can’t hold this in any longer. I have noticed that a fair …

In The Dark
August 18, 2003 · No Comment

When the power goes out, I think to myself, oh, all right. If the universe wants me to flop down on the couch and read a trashy behind-the-scenes book about the O.J. Simpson defense instead …

The Vine: August 14, 2003
August 14, 2003 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
Have been an enthusiastic reader of your TWoP recaps for some time and just discovered Tomato Nation, which has meant my last few work days have been spent reading old Vines. If you look, …

The Vine: August 13, 2003
August 13, 2003 · No Comment

Hey Sars —
I’m writing to A Sad Mom as another mom, of not one, but two five-year-olds. My advice is to give it to the kid straight. It’s better to be honest and straightforward in …

The Vine: August 12, 2003
August 12, 2003 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I’m writing in response to “What do you mean you can’t take kissing lessons?” in The Vine. I had my first kiss two months ago (at the age of 21). I was in the …