“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

It all began when I walked into Tiger Schulmann’s Karate Center on 19th Street. I don’t know why I decided to go in and have a look-see. Maybe I wanted a new and exciting workout …

Trebek Est Morte, Vive Trebek
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

To: All And Sundry
From: J. Cortlandt Higginbotham, Head Writer, Jeopardy!
Re: New Format
Dear Fellow Jeopardy! Writers,
Welcome back from the holiday break — I hope you all feel relaxed and ready to tackle a new season.
As you …

Let Us Give Thanks
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

Thanksgiving — a holiday devoted to the uniquely American pastime of gratuitous overindulgence. But much though I love the gut-busting element of this celebration, I feel as though I should give some thanks for various …

Heaven On Earth
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

Five years ago, I broke up with a boy. I went out with this boy for only a brief time — three months — but somehow I had managed to fall in love with him. …

Greenie Meanies
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

The other day, the Disco Biscuit bought me a present. Apparently, nothing says “I love you” like fattening food, because he got me a box of Girl Scout Cookies.
And now, a medium-length sidebar on my …

Less Is Moore
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

G.I. Jane, since opening nationwide a few weeks ago, has done a decent business at the box office. G.I. Jane — a movie that should never have survived the pitch meeting, with a star that …

Jane D’oh!
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

I picked up a copy of the new women’s magazine on the block, published by Jane Pratt and handily titled JANE, last week. I have to admit that I fell for the advertising campaign — …

Witness This (or, “What A Friend We Have In Jesus”)
March 11, 1996 · One Comment

Last Sunday, after a high-octane brunch which derived its only nutritional value from the ketchup on my homefries, I snagged a Times and holed up in my apartment to celebrate the fact that Big Brother …

The MTV Video Music Awards Diaries
March 11, 1996 · 3 Comments

Close your eyes.Inhale fully…okay, now exhale.Continue to breathe deeply and evenly as you form a picture in your mind of a giant carpeted junior high homeroom where everyone has a cell phone.Welcome to the 1997 …

The Vegas Diaries
March 11, 1996 · No Comment

Allow me to introduce myself — Sarah D. Bunting, CD-ROM development editrix by day, heckler at life’s rich pageant by night.Below, the sad true tale of my trip to the Consumer Electronics Show in Las …