Sarah: Hello?
Wing Chun: Hello!
Sarah: Oh God, now what. Who.
Wing Chun: …What in the what what?
Sarah: It’s Robin Williams, isn’t it.
Wing Chun: It’s…the latest J. Crew catalog, actually, I saw a cute skirt for you. What …

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: I think you mean “Mel-lo.”
Wing Chun: I…do?
Sarah: Yes, sugar tits, you do.
Wing Chun: Sugar what now? …Ohhhh, yeah, Mel Gibson. Hey, what’s the movie where he’s frozen and then he wakes up?
Sarah: …

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: Well, hellooooooo.
Wing Chun: Oh, I know. I know.
Sarah: Dude. Fisticuffs.
Wing Chun: Dude? Pummeling!
Sarah: Pummeling.
Wing Chun: Pummeling and smacking.
Sarah: Like Christmas in May, this is.
Wing Chun: Christmas and our birthdays.

Wing Chun: Hello.
Sarah: …Jeez.
Wing Chun: Oh, hi. Sorry.
Sarah: Everything okay?
Wing Chun: Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine, but with the Oscar nominations coming out tomorrow, it’s like, once more into the breach, my friends.
Sarah: No kidding. And …

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: Hi! Um, so, are you…eating? Right now?
Wing Chun: No. Why? Who.
Sarah: Have you eaten? Recently?
Wing Chun: Well…how recently is “recently”?
Sarah: You know. Recently. Like since, say, June.
Wing Chun: This involves Michael Jackson. …

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: Oh, hello.
Wing Chun: Oh. Hello.
Sarah: You know…
Wing Chun: I know. Oh, how I know.
Sarah: And the thing is…
Wing Chun: Mmmmmm-hmm.
Sarah: Because I just…I…
Wing Chun: …If I may?
Sarah: Please.
Wing Chun: SHUT. UP. TOM. …

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: …Dude.
Wing Chun: …I know.
Sarah: Dude.
Wing Chun: I know.
Sarah: You know that scene in Jason and the Argonauts with the skeletons?
Wing Chun: I…don’t think so.
Sarah: With the, where they’re swarming?
Wing Chun: I’d remember …

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: Hi. Okay, here’s the thing.
Wing Chun: Oh, dear.
Sarah: I know Kid Rock should go in the Girls’ Bike Club. I know this.
Wing Chun: But you don’t want him in it.
Sarah: No, I …

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: Oh, hello.
Wing Chun: Oh, dear.
Sarah: Heh.
Wing Chun: Well, that isn’t a “we haven’t spoken in the phone in a while” “oh, hello.”
Sarah: No, no, it isn’t.
Wing Chun: That is a “guess who’s …

Wing Chun: AAAAAAAAARRRRGGH!
Sarah: AAAAGGHHHH!
Wing Chun: RRRRRRRRR!
Sarah: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Wing Chun: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Sarah: UUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!
Wing Chun: NOT!
Sarah: I KNOW!
Wing Chun: FUCK!
Sarah: SHIT!
Wing Chun: ASS! ASSHEAD!
Sarah: FUCKING…FUCKER!
Wing Chun: HATE!
Sarah: HATEY HATE!
Wing Chun and Sarah: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!
Wing Chun: I CAN’T STOP SCREAMING!
Sarah: ME …